Long and awkward situation here, but I'm really looking for advice about whether I should tell my friend what I think and if so, what I should say.
[bg]A friend of mine recently lost her father and is coming into a $50K inheritance. We're pretty open about finances with each other - not that it's a huge deal usually, but we trade anecdotes about our money ups and downs without it really ever having been awkward before. I knew she and her husband aren't good at keeping track of where their money is or how much debt they have, but I did know they carried credit card debt and that my friend's DH refuses to pay any attention whatsoever to a budget. It's not how I'd choose to live my financial life - it sounds like one good emergency would take their whole house of cards down - but she's never asked for my advice before so I've always kept my mouth shut.
Complicating issue: we have a shared financial venture. For the sake of this thread I'll say we own a boat together. The boat itself is already paid for, but we share the expenses for upkeep/storage/gas/upgrades/etc. We sometimes use it together and sometimes on our own and have no problem with sharing in that aspect, but if she and her DH were to suddenly stop paying for their half of the expenses, DH and I would be forced to either give up the boat altogether (at a huge loss) or to pay for their share. (It's not a boat, but assume for the sake of argument it's something else with no particular legal encumbrances or protection.)
So my friend is inheriting $50K, which is awesome, and was asking me for some advice about how they could use that to help her and her DH get themselves back on track. And then she mentioned how much credit card debt they have ($50K wouldn't cover half of it) and the idea of bouncing that kind of debt around from card to card and bank account to bank account scares the heck out of me. My friend thinks if she paid of her DH's credit card he'd just charge it back up to the max in a matter of months anyway so why bother? One day she's all for bettering their financial situation and the next day she's planning a huge vacation and a new car.
She's never directly asked for my advice before, so I've always decided not to comment on their financial activities and just focused on other relevant parts of the conversation. I'm torn now, though. On the one hand, I don't want to get involved because it's none of my business and her husband wouldn't be willing to suddenly be financially responsible anyway. On the other hand, I'd be a horrible friend if I were able to help my friend and her DH figure out their way out of this financial pit and I refused to tell them how. We've also got our boat to consider - DH and I could *probably* afford to pay for the whole thing for a while if she and her DH decided to suddenly stop, but it's definitely not pocket change and would put a big damper on our own financial situation.
So the big question: assuming she asks me directly again, what do I say? I'm no financial guru, but I am pretty organized about money and that's one thing my friend could really stand to work on.