Author Topic: How to word this in invitation?  (Read 1885 times)

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VltGrantham

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How to word this in invitation?
« on: December 19, 2012, 11:49:44 AM »
DH and I want to invite several people (mostly family) on a tour this coming spring.  The tour includes entry tickets, meals, parking, and various experiences.  (i.e., go into normally "off limits to the public" type areas, meet with some of the experts, etc.)

I want to make it clear (particularly since some of his family is involved) that the invitation does not include merchandise, souvenirs, or items sold from street vendors.  In other words, your meal at the various restaurant type eateries will be covered, but because the street vendors operate on a cash-only basis, they can't include that in meals or snacks.

The last question I have is, the tour includes your own personal tour guide and photographer.  I do not want certain members of the family "hogging" the photographer to take family shots.  He or she will be there to get group shots and some of the scenery.  What is the polite way to convey this if it becomes an issue?  (And we do have reason to believe that it may.)

TurtleDove

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2012, 11:52:00 AM »
Are you paying for everyone to go on the tour?  If not, I don't think you need to say anything because they will be able to read the parameters of the tour when they buy their tickets.

BeagleMommy

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2012, 11:54:02 AM »
Dear Family:

We are planning a visit to Attraction.  The package includes admission, tour guide, expert consultation and meals at various restaurants.  A photographer will be available for group pictures at specific sites.  If you have any questions, please give me a call.  Hope to see you there!

Let them ask you if anything you didn't list is included.

VltGrantham

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2012, 11:55:11 AM »
Quote
Are you paying for everyone to go on the tour?

Yes, we're paying for the tour.  We just don't want anyone thinking it means a free-for-all.

WillyNilly

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2012, 12:02:35 PM »
Dear Family:

We are planning a visit to Attraction. We'd like you to join us at Attraction. The package we will be provid[ing] includes admission, tour guide, expert consultation and meals at various restaurants.  A photographer will be available for group pictures at specific sites. 


^ This is great, but I would add:

While there you can choose to purchase snacks from street vendors, merchandise, souvenirs as they are not included in the package. 

Hope to see you there!  And don't for get your camera for capturing memories as the group photographer will only be doing a few large group shots.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2012, 01:13:40 PM »
I really like Willy-nilly's suggestion.  It is clear and firm, but sounds very friendly at the same time.
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doodlemor

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2012, 01:48:44 PM »
Me too.  /\     /\

Lynn2000

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2012, 05:36:35 PM »
I like WillyNilly's wording as well. Maybe it would help to imagine you are writing the instructions for people who want to be polite, but just don't know what to expect. I mean, they aren't mind-readers, and if this isn't an activity they're intimately familiar with they may not know what the "usual" expectations are. So, just spell things out in a neutral way. And have strategies prepared to redirect people who may try to hog the photographer anyway! :)
~Lynn2000

jpcher

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2012, 06:02:19 PM »
I, too, think Willy Nilly's wording is perfect.

And have strategies prepared to redirect people who may try to hog the photographer anyway! :)

As far as strategies go, talk to the photographer. Ask him what his package deal includes and what the cost for extra pictures are. Let him know that he should either clear all photos taken with you or he's free to tell the extra-photo-wannabes that he'll take extra photos for cash only.

Tell him straight up that you will not be responsible for the cost of any photos that were not cleared by you or taken outside of the package deal.

Get it in writing.

Danika

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2012, 02:58:52 AM »
I like WillyNilly's wording, but I'm concerned that "While there you can choose to purchase snacks from street vendors, merchandise, souvenirs as they are not included in the package" could still be construed by the others as "you can choose" meaning "you choose and I pay" so I'd put the dots very close together on that one and say something like "the street vendors are not included in the package, so if you think you might want some souveniers, please, bring cash."

And I agree with jpcher:
As far as strategies go, talk to the photographer. Ask him what his package deal includes and what the cost for extra pictures are. Let him know that he should either clear all photos taken with you or he's free to tell the extra-photo-wannabes that he'll take extra photos for cash only.

Tell him straight up that you will not be responsible for the cost of any photos that were not cleared by you or taken outside of the package deal.

Get it in writing.

Raintree

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2012, 03:46:12 AM »
"We are covering the cost of the tour, which includes X, Y, and Z. Please bring cash for personal purchases such as souvenirs and other sundry items from street vendors."

For the photographer, I like WillyNilly's wording.

Thipu1

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2012, 10:25:06 AM »
This may sound odd but I would suggest checking the shore excursion descriptions on cruise ship sites.  These give a good description of what is included or not included. 

Since you're paying the nut, it's important to get things straight from the start. 

VltGrantham

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2012, 10:32:25 AM »
Thanks everyone!  It has helped tremendously!

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2012, 11:00:03 AM »
"We are covering the cost of the tour, which includes X, Y, and Z. Please bring cash for personal purchases such as souvenirs and other sundry items from street vendors."

For the photographer, I like WillyNilly's wording.

I agree with this.  I would state what is included rather than what's not included, because it's more clear.  Otherwise they can claim that X should be included because it wasn't mentioned on the list of exclusions, etc. 

EmmaJ.

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Re: How to word this in invitation?
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2012, 01:17:15 PM »
If your family is anything like mine...  I would be very straightforward and clear and put it in writing!

"Hi Family!  DH and I are inviting you to join us at super-duper tour on Saturday for 6 hours.  The tour package includes:

1.  Admission fee
2.  All tips are covered
3.  Parking
4.  Lunch (which will be served at 12:00)

You will need to bring pocket money for souvenirs and snacks sold by street vendors.  We will be doing lots of walking so wear comfortable shoes.  It's best to wear shorts but bring a spare sweater."

In other words, spell out exactly what is need/expected.  No one will be embarrassed and you won't be expected to cover all the extras.