Author Topic: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for  (Read 3639 times)

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Knitterly

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"secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« on: December 17, 2012, 08:35:05 PM »
Cathy - one of my younger sisters.
Don - Cathy's husband.

b/g Because there are just too many of us for it to be reasonable to buy for everyone and their spouses at Christmas, many years ago (before any of us were married), we started drawing names out of a hat to buy for.  As significant others were introduced, their names went into the hat, too.  At the beginning, it was great fun for the names to be a secret.  Now there's only the facade of secrecy and we pretty much all know who is buying for whom.  We do send out wishlists to make it easier for our "secret" santa to buy for us.

So I am buying for Cathy.

Cathy requested a number of movies (her idea was basically 'pick one and I'll love it'.  I bought most of her list because I found them on sale and it fell within my budget to spoil her).
When Don sent out his suggestion list, he included an extra item for Cathy - a TV show they both watch.

Cathy came to visit me and was raving about this show.  She mentioned that they weren't able to wait until Christmas and bought the show.

Now I'm confused.
I'm confused for a lot of reasons.
First, it actually was not nearly 1/2 the price that Cathy said it was, leading me to believe I bought the wrong thing.  Second, technically, Cathy never asked for it.  But she was cc'd on the email that Don sent.  So why did she buy it?  Or why did Don suggest it?

Cathy and Don are very circumspect in their spending.  They generally dislike the idea of wishlists and prefer to buy based on their personal knowledge of the recipient.  In short, they aren't selfish people.

I could flat out ask Cathy about the tv show, but that would spoil the surprise.
Or I could talk to Don.  But Don is rarely online and if I were to call him, I might as well just flat out ask Cathy about the show.
Or I could just wrap up the gift and let the chips fall where they may.
Or I could return it completely.

 :(

I'm just so annoyed that she bought something that she asked for.  And now I'm afraid that she's bought other things on her list. 

Is it rude to buy something off your own wishlist when you do this sort of gift exchange?
And what would be the nicest way for me to bring it up without saying "hey, did you buy this exact thing that I already got you?"

bonyk

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2012, 08:44:00 PM »
  Now there's only the facade of secrecy and we pretty much all know who is buying for whom.

Does Cathy know you have her?  If so, I suspect she was mentioning the TV show to tell you not to buy it for you.  Ooops, too late!

Do you have the receipt?  I would give it to her with the DVD and tell her that you'd already gotten it, but now she can get whatever she'd like.

CaptainObvious

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2012, 08:47:47 PM »
  Now there's only the facade of secrecy and we pretty much all know who is buying for whom.

Does Cathy know you have her?  If so, I suspect she was mentioning the TV show to tell you not to buy it for you.  Ooops, too late!

Do you have the receipt?  I would give it to her with the DVD and tell her that you'd already gotten it, but now she can get whatever she'd like.

Why, the OP knows she has it, she should return it for something else, not Cathy. Cathy's Husband added it, not Cathy.

Knitterly

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2012, 08:48:29 PM »
  Now there's only the facade of secrecy and we pretty much all know who is buying for whom.

Does Cathy know you have her?  If so, I suspect she was mentioning the TV show to tell you not to buy it for you.  Ooops, too late!

Do you have the receipt?  I would give it to her with the DVD and tell her that you'd already gotten it, but now she can get whatever she'd like.

Cathy does know that I have her, and I hinted that I'd already bought the show. 

Knitterly

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2012, 08:49:32 PM »
  Now there's only the facade of secrecy and we pretty much all know who is buying for whom.

Does Cathy know you have her?  If so, I suspect she was mentioning the TV show to tell you not to buy it for you.  Ooops, too late!

Do you have the receipt?  I would give it to her with the DVD and tell her that you'd already gotten it, but now she can get whatever she'd like.

Why, the OP knows she has it, she should return it for something else, not Cathy. Cathy's Husband added it, not Cathy.
Yes, but I went back and looked at my emails (after I posted the original message), and Cathy actually responded to Don's email (reply-all) to clarify which season of the show she wanted (which, just to clarify, is exactly what I bought her).
« Last Edit: December 17, 2012, 08:54:18 PM by Knitterly »

CaptainObvious

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2012, 08:50:43 PM »
  Now there's only the facade of secrecy and we pretty much all know who is buying for whom.

Does Cathy know you have her?  If so, I suspect she was mentioning the TV show to tell you not to buy it for you.  Ooops, too late!

Do you have the receipt?  I would give it to her with the DVD and tell her that you'd already gotten it, but now she can get whatever she'd like.

Why, the OP knows she has it, she should return it for something else, not Cathy. Cathy's Husband added it, not Cathy.
Yes, but I went back and looked at my emails (after I posted the original message), and Cathy actually responded to Don's email (reply-all) to clarify which season of the show she wanted.

Then, I would exchange it for something else.

bonyk

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2012, 08:58:00 PM »
Yes, but I went back and looked at my emails (after I posted the original message), and Cathy actually responded to Don's email (reply-all) to clarify which season of the show she wanted (which, just to clarify, is exactly what I bought her).

So, basically, she knows you got it, decided she couldn't wait, bought it herself, and let you know so you could get her something else.  That would drive me crazy.  I wouldn't return it for her.

Knitterly

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2012, 09:11:25 PM »
Yes, but I went back and looked at my emails (after I posted the original message), and Cathy actually responded to Don's email (reply-all) to clarify which season of the show she wanted (which, just to clarify, is exactly what I bought her).

So, basically, she knows you got it, decided she couldn't wait, bought it herself, and let you know so you could get her something else.  That would drive me crazy.  I wouldn't return it for her.

Sort of.

The timeline went like this:
Cathy sent her wishlist out.
Don sent his wishlist out, with the addendum to Cathy's.
edited to add (because it's important): Cathy sent out the clarification to Don's addendum.
I bought as much off Cathy's wishlist as I could, because I could.  I also bought the addendum item that Don suggested because Cathy had raved about the show and talks about it All! The! Time!
Cathy came to visit me.  She talked about the show.  She talked about having bought the show.  I looked askance at her and asked "didn't you ask for that?" We talked about Christmas.
Cathy talked more about the show and about how her friend borrowed the seasons she had.  Which then left me thinking maybe she just bought the earlier seasons and not the most recent one.
Cathy talked more about the show (sheeeeeeeeeesh, I get it... you love the show!!!  ::)) and about how she couldn't wait to get the new season.  She said she bought it because she figured her christmas secret santa would not buy it because it's like $80.
But it's not even 1/2 that.  I got it for $22.  So maybe I got the wrong thing?

The show is Dr. Who for those who are curious.

I'm thinking I'm just going to save myself the mindache and return it and get a different movie that just went on sale.  Or a game.  Or something else.  Anything else.

And I'm borrowing the show in the new year.  Because apparently it is made of gold and chocolate and everyone should watch it.   ::)
« Last Edit: December 17, 2012, 10:42:23 PM by Knitterly »

Harriet Jones

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2012, 09:27:29 PM »

But it's not even 1/2 that.  I got it for $22.  So maybe I got the wrong thing?

The show is Dr. Who for those who are curious.

I'm thinking I'm just going to save myself the mindache and return it and get a different movie that just went on sale.  Or a game.  Or something else.  Anything else.

And I'm borrowing the show in the new year.  Because apparently it is made of gold and chocolate and everyone should watch it.   ::)

It may be the wrong thing. The newer seasons can be pretty expensive. I see on amazon that a couple of the seasons are $22, but there are other seasons that are $50

Knitterly

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2012, 09:36:56 PM »

But it's not even 1/2 that.  I got it for $22.  So maybe I got the wrong thing?

The show is Dr. Who for those who are curious.

I'm thinking I'm just going to save myself the mindache and return it and get a different movie that just went on sale.  Or a game.  Or something else.  Anything else.

And I'm borrowing the show in the new year.  Because apparently it is made of gold and chocolate and everyone should watch it.   ::)

It may be the wrong thing. The newer seasons can be pretty expensive. I see on amazon that a couple of the seasons are $22, but there are other seasons that are $50

Do you know what the difference between a season and a series of the show is?

I got series 7, pt 1, which seems to be what just finished airing on tv.  I know this because I know one particular episode just aired a few months ago.  My friend posted the trailer and was very giddy about that particular episode.  It also contains an episode that I know Cathy has seen because she showed me a clip from it on youtube.

Harriet Jones

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2012, 09:39:20 PM »
I believe that's the first half of season 7 (5 episodes)

Yvaine

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2012, 09:40:35 PM »
Yes, but I went back and looked at my emails (after I posted the original message), and Cathy actually responded to Don's email (reply-all) to clarify which season of the show she wanted (which, just to clarify, is exactly what I bought her).

So, basically, she knows you got it, decided she couldn't wait, bought it herself, and let you know so you could get her something else.  That would drive me crazy.  I wouldn't return it for her.

Sort of.

The timeline went like this:
Cathy sent her wishlist out.
Don sent his wishlist out, with the addendum to Cathy's.
I bought as much off Cathy's wishlist as I could, because I could.  I also bought the addendum item that Don suggested because Cathy had raved about the show and talks about it All! The! Time!
Cathy came to visit me.  She talked about the show.  She talked about having bought the show.  I looked askance at her and asked "didn't you ask for that?" We talked about Christmas.
Cathy talked more about the show and about how her friend borrowed the seasons she had.  Which then left me thinking maybe she just bought the earlier seasons and not the most recent one.
Cathy talked more about the show (sheeeeeeeeeesh, I get it... you love the show!!!  ::)) and about how she couldn't wait to get the new season.  She said she bought it because she figured her christmas secret santa would not buy it because it's like $80.
But it's not even 1/2 that.  I got it for $22.  So maybe I got the wrong thing?

The show is Dr. Who for those who are curious.

I'm thinking I'm just going to save myself the mindache and return it and get a different movie that just went on sale.  Or a game.  Or something else.  Anything else.

And I'm borrowing the show in the new year.  Because apparently it is made of gold and chocolate and everyone should watch it.   ::)

With this update, I'm not sure Cathy did anything wrong. She sent you a Who-less list, possibly because she already planned to buy it. Her husband didn't know she meant to buy it and told you she really liked it, but didn't tell Cathy he'd done that. It's just one of those annoying things that happens without anyone being malicious in any way.

Harriet Jones

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2012, 09:46:32 PM »
Do you know what the difference between a season and a series of the show is?

The way the BBC does tv shows, I think series and season are pretty much interchangeable in this case


wolfie

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2012, 10:18:55 PM »

But it's not even 1/2 that.  I got it for $22.  So maybe I got the wrong thing?

The show is Dr. Who for those who are curious.

I'm thinking I'm just going to save myself the mindache and return it and get a different movie that just went on sale.  Or a game.  Or something else.  Anything else.

And I'm borrowing the show in the new year.  Because apparently it is made of gold and chocolate and everyone should watch it.   ::)

It may be the wrong thing. The newer seasons can be pretty expensive. I see on amazon that a couple of the seasons are $22, but there are other seasons that are $50

Do you know what the difference between a season and a series of the show is?

I got series 7, pt 1, which seems to be what just finished airing on tv.  I know this because I know one particular episode just aired a few months ago.  My friend posted the trailer and was very giddy about that particular episode.  It also contains an episode that I know Cathy has seen because she showed me a clip from it on youtube.

In the UK they call each year of a show a series. In the US we call each year of a show a season and the entire show a series. Which can get really confusing if you are from the US and watch a UK show for the first time and wonder why they are calling it a different series when it is the same show.

Tilt Fairy

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Re: "secret" santa - when they already bought what they asked for
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2012, 10:34:55 PM »
^. This is true. In the UK, we call a 'series' what you guys will call a 'season' or a 'cycle'.