Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

Fiance & I were stunned at his female friend's replies

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Your fiance needs to learn to say what he means.

He /asked/ "would it be okay with you if we exchanged gifts in January", which left the door open for her to reply "I will think about it". She took it as a literal question "would it be okay with you".

What he should have done, was tell, not ask. Tell "I will not be able to exchange christmas gifts before January".

Of course, it would have been more gracious and considerate of her to not ask "Why" and to just say "Of course that is okay, I understand."
But you know... some people aren't that good at mindreading and at grasping delicate financial circumstances - especially if they haven't been in narrow shoes financially themselves.

Maybe she doesn't want to exchange gifts at all?

Add me to the confused list.

I reread a couple times trying to see what I missed, but the only real oddity that I saw was your fiance saying he needed more time to shop for her gift when it that is untrue as he is getting her a gift card.

Why didn't he just answer her question?

I agree with the others who aren't getting it.  Was she supposed to know his financial circumstances, or something? 

Tilt Fairy:
Why did he tell her he needed more time to get her a gift card? Or is it that he wants to have time to look for a present that isn't a gift card instead? Couldn't he have bought her a gift card when he bought your gift card?

If it is indeed financial constraints, he should be honest with her and just tell her. Any reasonable friend wouldn't mind receiving a gift later in these circumstances. And an extra reasonable friend wouldn't even think about let alone expect or care about receiving a present if their friend was low on money. If there is a precedent between them that gifts will be received and expected on a certain day, all of the above dialogue is confusing and makes no sense. Is she aware of his/your financial situation?


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