I'm confused. Are you complaining that the same people who are hosting you for meals for two days are asking for a side dish potluck contribution for the 3rd meal related event you are invited to?
Different people. different side of the family, really. They are great aunts family, and older cousins (from mom's generation) that I haven't seen for years. I only see them at weddings and funerals, for the most part. I think in fact, the last time I saw some of these people was at my graduation party. (I was a nervous wreck there too).
I also forgot to add that I am indeed making a dish for another gathering. I have been asked to make pumpkin cookies for Christmas, which I actually volunteered to do.
What makes me so angry is that we are having Christmas Eve and Christmas (which we do every year) and so none of my family will have the extra money for this. I mean Aunt spends so much money on the Feast of the Seven Fishes, and ideally she shouldn't have to spend any more because Great Aunt's side has decided last minute to make this a potluck and that everyone must bring meat and what not.