After Christmas Party, and Supplying Everything. UPDATE post 81

[LeveeWoman]

Stay home and eat your snickerdoodles!

[Red1979]

I'm confused.  Are you complaining that the same people who are hosting you for meals for two days are asking for a side dish potluck contribution for the 3rd meal related event you are invited to?

[CharlieBraun]

That dessert looks like a great recipe.

I hope that you and your mother enjoy it - together - just the two of you.

Warm hugs.

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

When I absolutely need to get out of an event, I call a day or two ahead and say "I won't be able to come. I feel like I'm coming down with something and I don't want to expose everyone else to it".  This leaves you a lot of wiggle room if anyone asks questions later. 

[Sheila Take a Bow]

UPDATE:

I have found a dessert recipe that is cheap to make (I have everything for it) if I have to go to this thing. I am actually shaking just thinking about seeing these people again.

The recipe is here:
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/snickerdoodle-bars-10000001875126/

This is at least the second time you've referred to your extended family as "these people."  It seems like you really don't want to go.  Even if your mother chooses to go, you don't have to.

I don't understand your animosity, but it does seem to exist.  Make other plans to see your great aunt.  Don't go to the party.

[Fleur]

UPDATE:

I have found a dessert recipe that is cheap to make (I have everything for it) if I have to go to this thing. I am actually shaking just thinking about seeing these people again.

The recipe is here:
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/snickerdoodle-bars-10000001875126/

This is at least the second time you've referred to your extended family as "these people."  It seems like you really don't want to go.  Even if your mother chooses to go, you don't have to.

I don't understand your animosity, but it does seem to exist.   Make other plans to see your great aunt.  Don't go to the party.

In a previous post, the OP stated that this aunt has been toxic towards her in the past. She can't be expected to feel a warmth that she doesn't feel, even if it would be 'appropriate'.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

I never said she doesn't have a right to her animosity.  But "these people" suggests there's animosity towards more than her aunt.

Just because I don't understand the animosity doesn't mean that I think it's inappropriate.

What I really don't understand is why, if OP feels the animosity towards her family, she'd even consider going to this party.

What it comes down to is that if being with the family is so upsetting, she shouldn't go.

[Perfect Circle]

I agree with the above. Just decline and stay home. There's no point in getting into a physical state if these people literally make you shake because you are so uncomfortable.

[Nikko-chan]

I'm confused.  Are you complaining that the same people who are hosting you for meals for two days are asking for a side dish potluck contribution for the 3rd meal related event you are invited to?

Different people. different side of the family, really. They are great aunts family, and older cousins (from mom's generation) that I haven't seen for years. I only see them at weddings and funerals, for the most part. I think in fact, the last time I saw some of these people was at my graduation party. (I was a nervous wreck there too).

I also forgot to add that I am indeed making a dish for another gathering. I have been asked to make pumpkin cookies for Christmas, which I actually volunteered to do.

What makes me so angry is that we are having Christmas Eve and Christmas (which we do every year) and so none of my family will have the extra money for this. I mean Aunt spends so much money on the Feast of the Seven Fishes, and ideally she shouldn't have to spend any more because Great Aunt's side has decided last minute to make this a potluck and that everyone must bring meat and what not.

[rose red]

What makes me so angry is that we are having Christmas Eve and Christmas (which we do every year) and so none of my family will have the extra money for this. I mean Aunt spends so much money on the Feast of the Seven Fishes, and ideally she shouldn't have to spend any more because Great Aunt's side has decided last minute to make this a potluck and that everyone must bring meat and what not.

The only concern is yourself, not everyone.  They can stand up for themselves, but it sounds like they refuse to.  How are "these people" suppose to know you and other family members are broke if they don't speak up?  If you are angry with "these people," speak up or don't go.  Or bring Jello which cost less than $1 a box. 

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

The only concern is yourself, not everyone.  They can stand up for themselves, but it sounds like they refuse to.  How are "these people" suppose to know you and other family members are broke if they don't speak up?  If you are angry with "these people," speak up or don't go.  Or bring Jello which cost less than $1 a box.

The only person you're hurting with your anger is yourself.  Make a decision, carry it out graciously, and give yourself a break. 

[miranova]

Now I am even more confused!  If you don't want to go then don't go, seems pretty simple to me.  At first I thought you wanted to go and just thought you couldn't afford it.  Now it sounds like you don't want to go AND can't afford it.  So what's the problem?  Just don't go.

[White Lotus]

I am with LeveeWoman.

Don't go.

Make the Snickerdoodle Bars anyway.

Enjoy.