Author Topic: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?  (Read 9868 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

oopsie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« on: December 19, 2012, 06:12:26 PM »
Hello fellow Ehellers! My very first post!

Here is something that happened to me this past spring.

I am a Real Estate Sales Representative and my DD's best friend's mom (who I know casually due to our daughter's friendship - to DH, I refer to her as "the jellyfish" from Bridget Jones due to her nosiness and my feeling somehow like I've been stung raw after any conversation I have with her) called me at home. I wasn't there so DH told her to call me at the office. She did. She made some small talk, then mentioned that the real reason she was calling was because they had bought a house in another town and were moving this summer.

She then asked if I would come to her house to give her an idea of its value (this is not the first conversation I've had with her about this - she had called me at home a couple of months prior to try to "pick my brain" on what their house would be worth and what improvements they could do that would help with resale value. I was unable to give her a price point as I had never seen the inside of her home past the front foyer). I told her "sure thing" and then she casually mentioned that they were going to first try selling it themselves "to save on paying out commission." Somewhat deflated, I tried to remain positive and we set up a time to meet.

When the day came, I met her at her home. She first thanked me for coming as "most real estate agents wouldn't do this knowing we're trying to sell it ourselves." I said "no problem" then asked "if you do decide to list with a real estate agent, you'll consider me though right?" She turned around and said "oh no! We're loyal to Real Estate Agent A. We'd be going with her. She's on holidays right now, that's why we asked you to do this favour for us."

She then picked up the phone, as I'm standing in her foyer, to call her husband to have him confirm that they would be using Real Estate Agent A should they decide to list with an agent. It was an extremely awkward conversation to witness, nevertheless, he does confirm this fact without hesitation. At this point she seems embarrassed and tells me that I should go, she doesn't want to inconvenience me any further. Admittedly, I'm feeling pretty deflated at this point but I tell her that I'm here now and so, I would do what I can to help.

She perks up immediately and happily takes me on a tour of her home and I offer her several pieces of useful advice (which she follows) and give her a price. A week later, they have their property listed For Sale By Owner at the price I have recommended. She posts her For Sale By Owner ad on my personal Facebook page not once, not twice, but three times (I deleted the posts without comment each time). Two weeks after that, the house still unsold, they list with Real Estate Agent A for the same price and it's sold by the end of the month.

So what are your thoughts? Rude, clueless or perfectly acceptable?

Edited to add details about Facebook posts.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2012, 08:17:06 PM by oopsie »

PastryGoddess

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4867
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2012, 06:25:10 PM »
She was rude, you were graceful

She gave you the opportunity to leave and you didn't. You should have left and let Real Estate Agent A do all the work.   It's a lesson learned.

NotTheNarcissist

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 779
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2012, 06:37:35 PM »
I vote rude.

Yvaine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8941
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2012, 06:41:54 PM »
Wow. Yeah, she was rude. She talked you into doing your job for her for free and then paid someone else to do the job. She took advantage of the connection between you.  >:( Next time just leave!

MamaMootz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3008
  • I'm a lumberjack and I'm O.K....
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2012, 06:59:56 PM »
Very rude and you didn't get paid for any of your efforts, but Real Estate Agent A did. It's business, not personal. But she took advantage of your business knowledge based on your DD's personal relationship with her child. All kinds of wrong.

I would not have priced the home or given her advice, but instead said to her, "RudeMom, I do not earn any money when I do not list/sell homes. I'm not in the business of giving away my knowledge for free, so I think it's best that you contact Real Estate Agent A when he/she returns from their trip. I'm sure you understand -you would not go to work if you did not get paid, correct?" And then I would leave.

AND ....I'd be willing to bet she knew she was going to do this and she lured you there without telling you she was planning on using Real Estate Agent A on purpose. She probably figured once you got there, you'd be too embarrassed to leave without giving her the advice - and she was right. She got what she wanted without paying you a cent.

Sorry, I used to sell real estate and I learned very quickly to show these people the door. If they weren't there to list or buy from me, I cut them loose. Bless you - it's a tough business.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2012, 07:23:36 PM by MamaMootz »
"I like pie" - DD's Patented Bean Dip Maneuver

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15937
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2012, 07:07:10 PM »
Rude and a thief. since she stole your time and your knowledge.

oopsie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2012, 07:34:39 PM »
Very rude and you didn't get paid for any of your efforts, but Real Estate Agent A did. It's business, not personal. But she took advantage of your business knowledge based on your DD's personal relationship with her child. All kinds of wrong.

I would not have priced the home or given her advice, but instead said to her, "RudeMom, I do not earn any money when I do not list/sell homes. I'm not in the business of giving away my knowledge for free, so I think it's best that you contact Real Estate Agent A when he/she returns from their trip. I'm sure you understand -you would not go to work if you did not get paid, correct?" And then I would leave.

AND ....I'd be willing to bet she knew she was going to do this and she lured you there without telling you she was planning on using Real Estate Agent A on purpose. She probably figured once you got there, you'd be too embarrassed to leave without giving her the advice - and she was right. She got what she wanted without paying you a cent.

Sorry, I used to sell real estate and I learned very quickly to show these people the door. If they weren't there to list or buy from me, I cut them loose. Bless you - it's a tough business.

When she got off the phone with her husband, I was standing there with my mind racing as to what to do next. I did say to her that "this is my bread and butter, you do realize that this is how I feed my kids right?" and that's when she realized what she had done and told me to go. I did feel too embarrassed to just leave and thought I would be the bigger person, especially given our daughters' relationship.

Given how easily she bounced back from it when I told her I would stay, I also can't help but feel that she knew exactly what she was doing.

One other little thing I forgot to mention...she's also self-employed!!

MamaMootz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3008
  • I'm a lumberjack and I'm O.K....
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2012, 07:38:57 PM »
Very rude and you didn't get paid for any of your efforts, but Real Estate Agent A did. It's business, not personal. But she took advantage of your business knowledge based on your DD's personal relationship with her child. All kinds of wrong.

I would not have priced the home or given her advice, but instead said to her, "RudeMom, I do not earn any money when I do not list/sell homes. I'm not in the business of giving away my knowledge for free, so I think it's best that you contact Real Estate Agent A when he/she returns from their trip. I'm sure you understand -you would not go to work if you did not get paid, correct?" And then I would leave.

AND ....I'd be willing to bet she knew she was going to do this and she lured you there without telling you she was planning on using Real Estate Agent A on purpose. She probably figured once you got there, you'd be too embarrassed to leave without giving her the advice - and she was right. She got what she wanted without paying you a cent.

Sorry, I used to sell real estate and I learned very quickly to show these people the door. If they weren't there to list or buy from me, I cut them loose. Bless you - it's a tough business.

When she got off the phone with her husband, I was standing there with my mind racing as to what to do next. I did say to her that "this is my bread and butter, you do realize that this is how I feed my kids right?" and that's when she realized what she had done and told me to go. I did feel too embarrassed to just leave and thought I would be the bigger person, especially given our daughters' relationship.

Given how easily she bounced back from it when I told her I would stay, I also can't help but feel that she knew exactly what she was doing.

One other little thing I forgot to mention...she's also self-employed!!

Well, now you know where she stands for any future dealings... lesson learned. She should have been more considerate, especially considering the time you took to go to her home took you away from following up on other opportunities where you could actually earn commission. The fact that she's self-employed makes it even worse. Ugh.
"I like pie" - DD's Patented Bean Dip Maneuver

DavidH

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1776
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2012, 08:02:32 PM »
She was rude.  She told you up front she'd try to sell it herself, so I'm fine with that part and going over anyway in an effort to get the business seems like a prudent strategy on your part.  Once she said, oh no, were loyal to agent A, that was when you should have said that you'd feel awkward barging in on agent A's client and hope she'll understand and then leave.  It makes for a graceful exit and avoids her rather rude bait and switch.

Surianne

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10846
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2012, 08:07:04 PM »
She was honest with you, both about selling herself and using the other agent if she couldn't, so I think that if you thought it was more than you were willing to do as a favour, you could have left at any time.

oopsie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2012, 08:22:12 PM »
She was honest with you, both about selling herself and using the other agent if she couldn't, so I think that if you thought it was more than you were willing to do as a favour, you could have left at any time.

Yes, but after I had already taken the time and gas to drive there. I realize I could have left (and the thought certainly did cross my mind) but should she have even asked this "favour" of me at all knowing her real intentions is the question...?

oopsie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2012, 08:37:41 PM »
She was rude.  She told you up front she'd try to sell it herself, so I'm fine with that part and going over anyway in an effort to get the business seems like a prudent strategy on your part.  Once she said, oh no, were loyal to agent A, that was when you should have said that you'd feel awkward barging in on agent A's client and hope she'll understand and then leave.  It makes for a graceful exit and avoids her rather rude bait and switch.

I agree. I wish I had of thought of this response at the time.

Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11771
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2012, 11:40:34 PM »
She was rude, but you were also kind of a doormat.  She set you up to be taken advantage of, but you allowed her to do so (and didn't leave when she gave you the chance).  The more assertive-yet-still-polite move would have been to look around, find one or two things she could do to stage the house, then tell her "I can't really give you a price if I'm not listing the house myself, but you really can't go wrong with painting the walls beige and investing in air fresheners" and leave it at that.

I know, hindsight is 20/20, but it's good to be prepared in case something like this happens again!

Deetee

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5659
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2012, 12:42:54 AM »
She was rude, but you were also kind of a doormat.  She set you up to be taken advantage of, but you allowed her to do so (and didn't leave when she gave you the chance).  The more assertive-yet-still-polite move would have been to look around, find one or two things she could do to stage the house, then tell her "I can't really give you a price if I'm not listing the house myself, but you really can't go wrong with painting the walls beige and investing in air fresheners" and leave it at that.

I know, hindsight is 20/20, but it's good to be prepared in case something like this happens again!

This. She was rude, but in business people do try to push and it is good business sense to be able to say "No" politely. The "I wouldn't feel right intruding on your relationship with the agent" is great.

I  think that the conversation ("If you list, I hope you will consider me")  was good one, but really should have been held before you drove out there. You drove out there knowing they did plan to list themselves and didn't want to pay commision. Once you were there, there was some uncertainty. I can't help but think that if you'd had the conversation before you were committed, you could have got the sale or saved yourself the drive.

MariaE

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4681
  • So many books, so little time
Re: Is it really a favour or taking advantage?
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2012, 05:01:05 AM »
Very rude. I have no problems with her wanting to sell privately, because she was upfront with you on that, but to spring the other estate on you after you'd driven out there, and telling you that you were only there because she was on vacation? Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude. That's not a friend, that's a mooch.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice