T'Mar, count me in with the hive: Set the boundaries now and enforce them. Your uncle and aunt are intruding and you cannot permit this any longer.
You're totally right, and all the replies on this thread have helped me a lot! I printed the thread out and showed it to my mother, who completely agreed. Now if we can just get to the point of not feeling guilty about it.
BTW, I differ with the post about telling them to make their own tea. That breaks another boundary even if it forces them to serve themselves instead of imposing this on you.
This reminds me of something that happened last term. I went with one of my friends (call her Liza) after school (I mean work - we're colleagues) and another colleague/friend (Sara) of mine from the same school wanted to borrow DVDs from me. So she came to my house, but I wasn't there. My mother told me after she had left that she came in and asked where I was, and when my mother said I wasn't there she said, "It's okay, I'll wait!" and flopped down on the chair. Then my mother said, "Um, well, do you want something to drink?" And Sara said, "Yes, but don't worry, I'll get it!" She proceeded to go into the dining room and kitchen and bustle around getting a cup, milk from the fridge, turning the kettle on, etc. My mother says she just sat there with her mouth open, unable to believe it!
Sara can be a bit clueless, and she has a good heart, so I think she was just trying to make it easier on my mother by getting it herself. And she stayed there for an hour until Liza dropped me off after shopping! My mother didn't mind talking to her, but she was astounded that someone would do that.
Sara is leaving the country soon to go work overseas. I'll miss her.