Author Topic: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56  (Read 14150 times)

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diesel_darlin

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies
« Reply #60 on: December 21, 2012, 06:40:05 PM »


There is a lot of power that comes from not caring.

Yes, yes there is. And that power makes pie all the much more enjoyable!  ;)

gramma dishes

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies
« Reply #61 on: December 21, 2012, 06:46:43 PM »
It didn't take long. SIL's email began with, "I wanted you to know why I returned your gift..." and proceeded to list some of our many transgressions.  It concluded with, "if you want to have a relationship with me, you know where I am." It was ugly, manipulative, and classic SIL.  It contained language designed to draw a wedge between DH and I and other members of the extended family.

Is seems that your silence on the subject worked perfectly.  I'd suggest it continue!!

But just out of curiosity, is she actually in a position to force a wedge between you and DH and other members of the family?  Or are they on to her just like you and your DH?  ???

yokozbornak

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #62 on: December 21, 2012, 06:52:31 PM »
Dear SIL:

No worries.  I have always liked pie better than you anyway so this is all for the best.

demarco

doodlemor

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #63 on: December 21, 2012, 06:55:14 PM »
I also think that you need to maintain silence.  That will frustrate SIL, who greatly would enjoy a battle at Christmas.

I also POD grandma dishes question.  Is there anyone in the family who still falls for her nonsense?

Slartibartfast

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #64 on: December 21, 2012, 07:01:08 PM »
Dear SIL:

No worries.  I have always liked pie better than you anyway so this is all for the best.

demarco

Okay, I'll admit, I LOLed at this  ;D ;D ;D

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #65 on: December 21, 2012, 07:22:06 PM »
Wish her a happy Festivus.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

diesel_darlin

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #66 on: December 21, 2012, 07:24:17 PM »
Dear SIL:

No worries.  I have always liked pie better than you anyway so this is all for the best.

demarco


I just about spit out a whole mouthful of chicken. LOL!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

SoCalVal

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies
« Reply #67 on: December 21, 2012, 08:02:08 PM »
It didn't take long. SIL's email began with, "I wanted you to know why I returned your gift..." and proceeded to list some of our many transgressions.  It concluded with, "if you want to have a relationship with me, you know where I am." It was ugly, manipulative, and classic SIL.  It contained language designed to draw a wedge between DH and I and other members of the extended family.

There was a time when an email like this would have tied me up in knots, rendered me sleepless,  and ruined my holiday.  I am so grateful that DH and I are beyond that now. 

There is a lot of power that comes from not caring.

Good for you!  Your SIL could be my sister, and I found there's a lot more power in not caring enough to respond or acknowledge her accusations than to get drawn into the crazy (thank you eHell!!!).  I wish I could say I don't understand why people like this attempt to stir up so much drama, but you said it yourself -- SIL used to be able to get you all tied up in knots, and she's betting on still being able to do so.  I've found it's best just not to read the crazy e-mails (because they *would* annoy me).  DF still has to learn not to read the crazy e-mails; he thinks he's being impolite by ignoring his future family member; it has been very hard to explain to him that responding will give her what she wants and teach her that this unacceptable method of trying to get to ME (by overstepping boundaries and e-mailing HIM to complain about me) is an effective way of forcing communication.  If he doesn't read them and doesn't respond, then she'll eventually wear out and go have her snit fit elsewhere -- same with your SIL.  If you don't respond, she doesn't win (and, I have found from the past twenty years of dealing with crazies like this, that the most satisfying and most powerful way of responding to them is to not respond at all -- drives them nuts while also leaving you at peace).

What a shame that she would be so ugly about a gift!  I'm sorry this happened to you and your DH.



Sharnita

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #68 on: December 21, 2012, 08:03:10 PM »
I love the "you know where I am" thing.  Um, yeah, we sent pies there.

JenJay

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #69 on: December 21, 2012, 08:16:51 PM »
I love the "you know where I am" thing.  Um, yeah, we sent pies there.

Exactly!! That made me think "Yeah, you're in the house full of much drama and no pie!"

It's very "The ball is in your court now." which translated means "I'm itching for a fight - your move!" She obviously doesn't realize that the pies were their attempt at reaching out and in rejecting them it's "Game Over!"

amandaelizabeth

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #70 on: December 21, 2012, 08:25:46 PM »
a good reply would be "who ate all the pies?  We did"


Phoebe

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #71 on: December 21, 2012, 08:46:18 PM »
Dear SIL:

No worries.  I have always liked pie better than you anyway so this is all for the best.

demarco

Please include a photo of yourself and your DH, wearing large smiles and your mouths smeared with pie remnants!  >:D

Craftymom

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #72 on: December 21, 2012, 09:10:26 PM »
Dear SIL,

I hate to break it to you, but in what universe is sending someone a yummy treat considered a punishment?

Better luck next time... 8)

Otterpop

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #73 on: December 21, 2012, 10:05:15 PM »
I'm all for maintaining radio silence.  It will eat.her.up....and it will give you guys peace.  Silence is golden, silence is power, silence says you are DONE playing games. 

Raintree

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Re: The SIL in a snit and the traveling pies Update post 56
« Reply #74 on: December 21, 2012, 10:25:03 PM »
If you make any response at all, it should be, "OK. We enjoyed the pies!"