Unreciprocated Christmas greetings.

[sircat]

 My instinct says that isn't rude,  but I still feel rude.  My husband used to work with a couple 20 odd years ago.  They were very good friends of ours for years, but we have seen them once in 10 years.  Every year they send us a Christmas card and I am so over this. It has no news, just their Merry Christmas and names.  For all they know, we could have moved, added 10 babies to our family  etc.   They live 10 minutes away and have not bothered to call in or phone (which is fine as friendships sometimes fade).  Two years ago I did not reciprocate, but last year I did. Well that dratted card arrived today.   Is it rude to not send a card? I was bought up to always send off cards to everyone that sent me one.

[MrsCrazyPete]

It's not rude. Don't send a card. I like to send cards to the people I enjoy, and care about, and spend time with. It's odd that they live just ten minutes from you but don't visit or have any other form of communication. You're fine; just send cards to the people who you want to.

[DottyG]

It's not rude of you to not send them a card.  But I don't understand why you consider it a "dratted card."  I just enjoy the cards I get and don't see any as "dratted" or "so over this."  That seems like an odd reaction to have.   *
 
ETA:  I hate the way that smiley looks.  It always seems kinda snarkyish to me.  It's supposed to be the "curious/questioning" face - which is how I meant it here.  I wasn't trying to be rude or snarky with my post.  I was actually just curious.
 


 

[DottyG]

Maybe this thread will help with your question.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=123306.0

[sircat]

Thank you.

[penelope2017]

Yeah, I don't get the 'dratted card' thing either. Not everyone views cards the same way. I look forward to Christmas time to get greetings from people who are in my life now and who have had some significance at some point in my life. You say you don't know how they are doing by just signing the card? Then we have a whole other contingent who finds the Christmas update of everyone in the family too narcissistic. No one is going to send a card exactly to your preference. I would just take a greeting as it is meant — a card to wish you a happy holiday.

If you don't want to send them a card, don't. But I don't see what you find so offensive about their manner of wishing you good tidings.

[Margo]

it's not rude not to send one.

I do get the 'dratted card' thing a little - there comes a point when it's an irritant because of the feeling of uncertainty/guilt that you haven't reciprocated and the 'why are these people who are now effectively strangers to me sending a card?'.  It's not a big thing, it's just that it brings up the dilemma about whether you should send one back, so the net effect of getting the card is that you feel mildly irritated / guilty.

It's part;y for this reason that, expect in special circumstances, I don't send cards to people who miss 2 years in a row.

[Thipu1]

This sort of thing can leap-frog from year to year.  That can be annoying.  We don't find just getting the card annoying but, that's us.