General Etiquette > Life...in general

The Disappearing Gift Kitty

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EmmaJ.:
Definitely follow up, as diplomatically as possible.  Something similar happened in my group a few years ago.  One of our managers was celebrating his 50th birthday and his admin was circulating a birthday card for everyone to sign plus a envelope for contributions toward a gift.

This manager was respected in his field and very well-liked.  He was a kind, generous, fun-loving person and by the time the envelope got to me it was stuffed with bills.  Partly because I was curious but mostly because I **had** to straighten, arrange and sort the bills, I counted a total of $225.00.  The final total was more than that as the contributions continued after my count.

His admin handed him two gifts to open at his party.  One was a baseball cap with the number 50 on the visor, and the other was a silly plastic walking cane with an "oooga" horn attached.

We all kept waiting for his real gift to be given to him.  I was thinking surely she had enough funds to buy a nice watch or Mont Blanc pen or something memorable.  But nothing more was given or said and the party ended. 

No one ever followed up or had the courage to ask her about the missing funds, but none of us ever forgot about it.   :(

cicero:

--- Quote from: Rusty on December 20, 2012, 07:18:28 AM ---Just to clarify, DD asked one of her friends exactly what was bought and checked out the prices, the range would be $20 to $35 max.  She rang the teacher herself, being careful not to let on about the problem, and asked what was given and if she liked it, just to check that it was the only present.  She did mention wanting the receipt for the accounts records to the member concerned, and the reply was "oh, I'll have to try and find it somewhere".   I myself suggested to DD that she say she had visited the teacher, seen the present herself, in which case money was owing back, that DD was sure the member was only trying to save the parents from overspending.

--- End quote ---
then she needs to ask her - she needs to be upfront and not sugar coat it.

(I dont' envy your daughter!)

I am usually the one in our office who buys the gifts for people - I *always* bring back the receipt and i always bring back all the change (down to the 5 cents or whatever is left). Nobody will ever have grounds for accusing me of robbing a gift kitty - that is just so... low. :-[

Hopefull:
This is really an unfortunate situation. But your DD has to address this directly with the person in question. DD shouldn't let the person slide with an excuse. She needs the rest of the money that was given ASAP and Dd should never trust this person with money again. If the person doesn't have the money or wont' give what is owed back............... well that would get this thread shut down. Please let us know how this transpires. I am nosey.

Isisnin:
yes, DD needs to insist on a receipt and return of the unspent funds. 

Should the member keep procrastinating, DD should give her a deadline.  DD can mention to /forewarn the member that without a receipt and return of the balance, a statement from the store will be obtained to verify the cost of the gift. Then the whole committee (whole group would be even better) will have to meet to review what happen, take suggestions as to resolutions of the discrepancy, a  and to vote which resolution to proceed with.

Hopefully then, the member will realize that her "antics" will be public and she will pony up the rest of the money to avoid that.

Penguin_ar:
That does sound dodgy.  Giving the other member the benefit of the doubt, could they have spent money on decorations/ food for the party?

I would also go for the straightforward approach- mention some parents thought the present didn't look like it cost $150, and if she cannot locate the receipt by X date, maybe she could contact her credit card company or say where she bought it so DD could prove to the other parents that indeed $150 was spent..

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