Dear Abby on Christmas cards

[magicdomino]

I somewhat prefer regular cards, as I use them for package decorations, gift tags, etc.  But I'm happy to get anything at all.

[Margo]

I'm not a massive fan of photocards, but that's a matter of personal taste - If I get one, I think 'it's nice of X to remember me and send a card' not 'now rude. X has sent a photocard - why would s/he think I want pictures these kids I don't know?'

I don't think it is normal to send a personal letter with every card - I think just a signature is fine - that' what is in most of the cards I send and receive,  a short, handwritten note in a card is welcome - I appreciate that the sender has taken the time and trouble to add something, and I feel it's much more individual than including a round-robin letter.

I will often add a short note in cards to people I know well and haven't seen for a while. I've never heard of anyone complaining but if they did I think I would save them the horror of an inappropriate card/note by sending them nothing at all in future!

I think a card which isn't signed is a little different - I would not be impressed by that, but I would never be rude enough to complain about it to the sender.

[Take2]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me. The cards I get are generally a fairly close-up shot of the whole family smiling. Which I like, I enjoy seeing how the kids have grown and seeing everyone happy. I figure if the shot is from their vacation, that's probably because that's where they got a good shot of everyone together and smiling and looking at the camera .

Anyway, I spend countless hours on my photo cards. I have to find clothes that everyone already owns or is willing to wear that don't clash. My kids require some mental preparation for a photo shoot, too, in order to cooperate. And getting 4 children and 2 adults all looking at the camera and smiling is no small task. Then there is the job of choosing the perfect picture from those available. And choosing a card design that works with that picture and getting the picture cropped and lined up just right. I know that not everyone puts quite that much effort into the process, but you cannot simply wish photo cards into being.

[lellah]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me.

You must know nicer people than I do!  Last I got a card from people who took their yacht to volunteer in Haiti.  Here's little Susie feeding an orphan and wearing Feragamo.  Here's Timmy showing an orphan how to play Gameboy.  And so on. 

[StuffedGrapeLeaves]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me.

You must know nicer people than I do!  Last I got a card from people who took their yacht to volunteer in Haiti.  Here's little Susie feeding an orphan and wearing Feragamo.  Here's Timmy showing an orphan how to play Gameboy.  And so on.

Wow...that is mind-boggling.  I have never seen that before.  I'm wirth Take2 - I've never received a photo card that seems braggy to me.

[lellah]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me.

You must know nicer people than I do!  Last I got a card from people who took their yacht to volunteer in Haiti.  Here's little Susie feeding an orphan and wearing Feragamo.  Here's Timmy showing an orphan how to play Gameboy.  And so on.

Wow...that is mind-boggling.  I have never seen that before.  I'm wirth Take2 - I've never received a photo card that seems braggy to me.

I may've gone to a college filled with terrible people, in retrospect.  Ah, well.

[magicdomino]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me.

You must know nicer people than I do!  Last I got a card from people who took their yacht to volunteer in Haiti.  Here's little Susie feeding an orphan and wearing Feragamo.  Here's Timmy showing an orphan how to play Gameboy.  And so on.

Don't know about lellah, but I must know only poorer people than you.     The closest thing anyone I know has to a yacht is a bass boat.  Anyhow, the photos that I get are always a posed group, with or without parents. 

[Take2]

None of the people who send me a card own a yacht to brag about, so it may just be that the people who send me cards would be horrid of they had the means? I am trying to think of a charitable reasoning for using those Haiti pictures, and I can't. That is pretty insufferable.

One of our closest friends travels extensively and his Christmas card picture may have been taken on any continent from year to year, but he's never been mean about it. He sends us pictures of him in exotic locales we haven't visited, we send him pictures of us with our kids and he'll never have kids of his own. No hatefulness of bragging in either direction.

[Shoo]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me.

You must know nicer people than I do!  Last I got a card from people who took their yacht to volunteer in Haiti.  Here's little Susie feeding an orphan and wearing Feragamo.  Here's Timmy showing an orphan how to play Gameboy.  And so on. 

It kind of sounds to me like you begrudge your friends their success.  Would you have felt better if they'd gone in a simple sailboat?  What makes you think they were bragging?  It just sounds that's their "life."  Should they not take pictures, or do any kind of charitable work because someone somewhere might think they were actually showing off instead of really trying to help people?

[Queen of Clubs]

I agree with lots of other posters: since Aunt says "if you can't send a letter, don't send anything", that's what the LW should do - send nothing.  I don't expect a long letter in a Christmas card.  Most of the ones I receive have a brief 'best wishes' type of thing.  From my experience, that's what most people send.

[MommyPenguin]

I *adore* photo cards.  At least, of people I know and like.  And even cards from unfamiliar people (my husband and I gave some money last year to some missionaries recommended by his parents as being low on support, and they all sent us photocards this year) are usually interesting because I like looking at the families.  I've always enjoyed photocards, and they go on our fridge and often stay there until the next Christmas!  Regular cards get taped to the back of the door and enjoyed for the season, but I don't usually keep them beyond January or so.  My favorites are photocards with kids.  This year we finally sent photocards ourselves, which was fun.  They're not vacation photos or anything.  We went to Target wearing nice Christmassy clothes and got them taken on site.  Most of the cards we receive are similar.  They're usually of people wearing Christmas clothes or in front of a tree, or the like.  There is one where the kids are wearing shorts, so it must be from the summer, but that's not the norm.  And there's definitely no bragging... all the cards just say something like "Merry Christmas from the Carmichael Family!" and maybe a Bible verse from the Christmas story, and if there's anything handwritten, it's along the lines of, "We hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year!  Love, Tim, Amy, Beth, and Daniel Carmichael."  Or whatever.

I think the LW should just stop sending anything to the aunt.  That'll save her the cost of a card, or she can send it to somebody more appreciative.

[MorgnsGrl]

I love photo cards. The only thing I don't like is that I feel guilty throwing them away when the holidays are over, LOL. I wonder how that aunt would feel if the people sending her cards followed this advice:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/how-to-make-an-awesome-family-christmas-card

[magicdomino]

I love photo cards. The only thing I don't like is that I feel guilty throwing them away when the holidays are over, LOL. I wonder how that aunt would feel if the people sending her cards followed this advice:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/how-to-make-an-awesome-family-christmas-card

Like you, I feel guilty about throwing photo cards away, but I'm not big on photos.  Unless they are like the ones in the link; I'd keep those if only for future blackmail possibilities.   

[Jones]

The Christmas after high school I tried sending cards. One friend got mad because I hadn't written much, just a short note. I didn't send any more to him. Meanwhile I only got cards from family and several cards were returned to me. I only send cards to family now.

[Thipu1]

I have not received photo cards that seem braggy to me.

You must know nicer people than I do!  Last I got a card from people who took their yacht to volunteer in Haiti.  Here's little Susie feeding an orphan and wearing Feragamo.  Here's Timmy showing an orphan how to play Gameboy.  And so on.

Ugh-a!  None of the photo cards we've received have ever been like that.  We have received cards with the family standing on the Great Wall of China or in front of the Observatory at Chichen Itza but we consider that just a nice re-cycling of a holiday snap.  The exotic background makes the picture more interesting.