Author Topic: Theater behavior  (Read 4611 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

FadingAmaranth

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2012, 01:12:30 PM »
I think you're a little bit oversensitive to be honest. Simply because you didn't say anything.

I don't think either of those people were necessarily rude, just a little clueless. If you had asked them to stop, politely not snarkily, and they had refused then they would be. But you can't expect people who are probably absorbed in what's in front of them to see your glares.

If these people are so obtuse that they don't realize kicking the back of another person's seat is bothersome they won't get clever.

I think this is uncharitable. The OP even says the bumping of her seat seemed liked a nervous habit. It's possible she didn't even notice she was doing it. I know I've done it before, bounced my leg up and down and jarred the seat in front of me while watching something. The person asked me nicely to please stop and I apologized because I hadn't realized I was doing it. So all you need to do is draw their attention to it. If they had glared at me I wouldn't even have noticed and if I had noticed I would have thought they were passive agressive.

Shea

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4057
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2012, 09:15:28 PM »
I think you're a little bit oversensitive to be honest. Simply because you didn't say anything.

I don't think either of those people were necessarily rude, just a little clueless. If you had asked them to stop, politely not snarkily, and they had refused then they would be. But you can't expect people who are probably absorbed in what's in front of them to see your glares.

If these people are so obtuse that they don't realize kicking the back of another person's seat is bothersome they won't get clever.

I think this is uncharitable. The OP even says the bumping of her seat seemed liked a nervous habit. It's possible she didn't even notice she was doing it. I know I've done it before, bounced my leg up and down and jarred the seat in front of me while watching something. The person asked me nicely to please stop and I apologized because I hadn't realized I was doing it. So all you need to do is draw their attention to it. If they had glared at me I wouldn't even have noticed and if I had noticed I would have thought they were passive agressive.

Maybe, maybe, the person kicking the back of the seat is just spectacularly clueless, though frankly I find it hard to imagine that an adult wouldn't realize that this is annoying to the person sitting in the seat. However, I think you're being far too charitable by giving the wrapper-crinkling woman a clueless pass. I've been to a lot of live theatre performances in my time, and I really can't imagine the level of obliviousness one would have to have attained to fail to realize that crinkling a wrapper during a play with live actors is not only distracting and rude to the other audience members, it's very disrespectful to the performers (yes, they can almost certainly hear it onstage. Most theatres have excellent acoustics).

The OP should speak up and politely ask the seat kicker/wrapper-crinkler to stop. That way, if they are just amazingly oblivious, they will know to stop the bothersome behavior. Unfortunately, if they know they're being rude and just don't care, they may not stop. If that happens, you could always try to find an usher, otherwise you may just have to grit your teeth and put up with it.


If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, librarians are a global threat.

medowynd

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 72
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2012, 09:46:32 PM »
I attended a play a few weeks ago, advertised as a family Christmas play.  The first half of the play was constantly interrupted by a two-year-old asking, "What's that?", over and over and over.  After intermission, a lovely instrumental was playing and the elderly woman directly behind us kept chatting along with the ever present chorus of "What's that?"  I finally turned around and said, 'Shhh."  The woman finally stopped and dad carried, "What's that?" out the door.  Thanks, dad, I got to enjoy the last 15 minutes and not have to hear, "What's that?"  There were several sighs of relief as he exited.

Why any family would pay $25 for a ticket for a toddler, I have no idea.  A babysitter for two hours, in our area, is easily covered by $25. 

Annoyed in America

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2012, 12:52:12 AM »
George S. Kaufman once, it is alledged, confronted a woman who was talking during a play.  "Madam, would you please speak up? These actors are talking so loudly I can hardly hear what you're saying."

Thank you!  This is exactly what I was looking for!   >:D

Annoyed in America

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2012, 12:57:50 AM »
I think you're a little bit oversensitive to be honest. Simply because you didn't say anything.

I don't think either of those people were necessarily rude, just a little clueless. If you had asked them to stop, politely not snarkily, and they had refused then they would be. But you can't expect people who are probably absorbed in what's in front of them to see your glares.

If these people are so obtuse that they don't realize kicking the back of another person's seat is bothersome they won't get clever.

I think this is uncharitable. The OP even says the bumping of her seat seemed liked a nervous habit. It's possible she didn't even notice she was doing it. I know I've done it before, bounced my leg up and down and jarred the seat in front of me while watching something. The person asked me nicely to please stop and I apologized because I hadn't realized I was doing it. So all you need to do is draw their attention to it. If they had glared at me I wouldn't even have noticed and if I had noticed I would have thought they were passive agressive.

Maybe, maybe, the person kicking the back of the seat is just spectacularly clueless, though frankly I find it hard to imagine that an adult wouldn't realize that this is annoying to the person sitting in the seat. However, I think you're being far too charitable by giving the wrapper-crinkling woman a clueless pass. I've been to a lot of live theatre performances in my time, and I really can't imagine the level of obliviousness one would have to have attained to fail to realize that crinkling a wrapper during a play with live actors is not only distracting and rude to the other audience members, it's very disrespectful to the performers (yes, they can almost certainly hear it onstage. Most theatres have excellent acoustics).

The OP should speak up and politely ask the seat kicker/wrapper-crinkler to stop. That way, if they are just amazingly oblivious, they will know to stop the bothersome behavior. Unfortunately, if they know they're being rude and just don't care, they may not stop. If that happens, you could always try to find an usher, otherwise you may just have to grit your teeth and put up with it.

Good advice Shea.  I have said things to people before and almost always get a rude remark back.  AND the behavior gets worse.  My DH is mortified when I do speak up.  He thinks it should just be ignored, but for the life of me I just can't! :-[
I will look for that usher next time. 

Surianne

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10687
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2012, 12:19:30 PM »
I think you'd have much more luck with a polite request, rather than something clever, smart, or snarky -- if the person is feeling attacked they're much more likely to get angry at you, or continue the behaviour.

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15621
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #21 on: December 22, 2012, 02:02:44 PM »
Unfortunately, this kind of rudeness is increasingly invading the opera and classical music venues as well.  Last season my jaw hit the floor when some audience members were talking through the overture of Manon.  Attempting to shush them would have only contributed to the problem.

When I went to see The Hobbitt last weekend a guy in the row in front of me never put away his cell phone.  I couldn't understand how he could sit in a 3D film for three hours and give his primary attention to his e-mail.  Since I didn't have the light constantly in my eyes I decided to let him waste his money.

However, I think incidents like this need more coverage:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2085493/New-York-Philharmonic-conductor-Alan-Gilbert-halts-performance-cell-phone-interruption.html

DottyG

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18204
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2012, 02:45:52 PM »
I think you'd have much more luck with a polite request, rather than something clever, smart, or snarky -- if the person is feeling attacked they're much more likely to get angry at you, or continue the behaviour.

This. I hope you weren't serious about using a snarky comment, OP.  you don't need clever. You need effective and polite. Being rude yourself is not what you need to be striving for.


Moray

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1869
  • My hovercraft is full of eels!
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2012, 04:59:44 PM »
George S. Kaufman once, it is alledged, confronted a woman who was talking during a play.  "Madam, would you please speak up? These actors are talking so loudly I can hardly hear what you're saying."

Thank you!  This is exactly what I was looking for!   >:D

pod to Surianne. Please don't be snarky IRL when a polite, non-PA request will do.
Utah

kherbert05

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9945
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2012, 05:53:50 PM »
I agree with the others a confident, polite, request that they stop is better than something "clever". If that doesn't work get management. Be polite but firm and expect the problem to be solved. If it isn't post on line negative reviews, and spread word of mouth not to got here.


I've been the leg jiggler. I didn't realize that the motion was traveling to the chair (wasn't touching the chair). I apologized and stopped. (Actually left the movie because I HATED it. Solved that problem don't go to movies with Sis and Cousins very often totally different tastes.)
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

CookieChica

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 301
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #25 on: December 22, 2012, 11:21:47 PM »
It's important to not let one rude reaction inspire you to be harsher with others.

I actually have a friend whose parents were at a movie in front of a chair kicker. It was the second disruptive movie experience in a row. After turning around and saying "Will you PLEASE stop kicking the chair?" in a less than friendly fashion, it stopped. When the lights came up, they discovered the kicker was someone famous who suffers from a disease that makes some body movement difficult to control. They ran out of there and certainly wish that they had been a little nicer in their request that the kicking stop!

DottyG

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18204
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #26 on: December 22, 2012, 11:31:47 PM »
Michael J Fox?


Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15621
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #27 on: December 23, 2012, 07:09:53 AM »
Fame is not a get-out-of-e-hell-free card.  People who have this condition have the responsibility to see that it doesn't annoy others.

CookieChica

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 301
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2012, 07:33:31 AM »
Michael J Fox?

No but same lines.

Fame is not a get-out-of-e-hell-free card.  People who have this condition have the responsibility to see that it doesn't annoy others.

Never said it was. But a dibilatating disease was a reason for my friend's parents to be nicer in their request. My point was that not everyone is being rude to be purposely annoying. I only mentioned the fame because that meant they knew there was a physiological problem.

Annoyed in America

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: Theater behavior
« Reply #29 on: January 01, 2013, 08:35:36 PM »
Hi again...Today we went to see "Jack Reacher".  It's a fairly violent movie, not sure of the rating, but there's a sniper killing 5 people in the opening scene.  Not a movie for small children.  Anyway, we sat in the front section on the back row. It was a sold out movie.  I thought GOOD no way to kick my seat back.  More on that later.  So the family right behind us brings a 4 year old, who is bored, of course.  He commences to pop out of his seat, talk loudly, and than run up and down the aisle.  All the while mom and pop sit there oblivious.  I think they had 5-6 children.  Their teenage daughter was in charge of the four year old.  Mom and Dad ignored the kids.  So I go out and tell the concessions people about the problem while I was getting popcorn.  Said family KNEW I did this since little boy was no-where to be found until after the movie was over and he was sitting on a bench in the lobby with big brother waiting.  The concessions people said they would deal with it, but I was watching for it and they never did. The kid was gone from the theater when I came back in with my popcorn. Suffice it to say, parents knew the kid was disruptive and they suspected I lodged a complaint so they took care of it before they were ejected.  But the teenage girl behind me did reach forward and kick my seat several times until I turned around and looked at her.  In the dark theater she did see me, just as her parents did earlier when I looked back.  Her row of seats had a wide walk space in front of them, so she really was trying, and not just fidgeting.  Just by walking out to the concession stand did the trick.  These people knew exactly what they were subjecting everyone to.  They just didn't care.