Author Topic: MIL and The Christmas Gifts- Drama-free update! pg2  (Read 7060 times)

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White Lotus

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2012, 11:36:04 AM »
I wouldn't cancel the course. That strikes me as retaliatory rudeness.  I would immediately stop giving her anything, ever.
If DD inquired, I might simply say that some people don't exchange gifts. I don't know why. People have many different reasons for this. Making a huge giant deal out of MIL's weird streak creates unnecessary hassle/hurt for OP and her family. I don't think anybody can change her, and it is only hurtful to try. In the future, as much as possible, draw your boundaries to avoid the weird.  Note that failing to react to bad behavior prompted by drama or attention seeking often results in improved behavior over time.  ::)

Specky

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2012, 11:44:45 AM »
I would definitely cancel the 400.00 bible study course.  MIL firmly indicated that there would be no gift exchange.

Shoo

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2012, 11:54:35 AM »
I would definitely cancel the 400.00 bible study course.  MIL firmly indicated that there would be no gift exchange.

I agree with this.  She has decided, unilaterally, that there is to be no gift exchange.  There is absolutely no way I would buy her a gift - let alone spend $400 on it - for a grandmother who can't be bothered to get her grandchild a token Christmas gift.

Are you still planning on giving her what she has asked for?  And if so, why?  To avoid upsetting her?  Her feelings would be the least of my concerns, to be honest.

And it is absolutely NOT retaliatory rudeness to go along with the "no gifts exchanged" theme that SHE has determined for your Christmas this year.  For one thing, it's not rude, and for another, it's not retaliatory.  It's what she wants.

JenJay

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2012, 11:58:47 AM »
I would definitely cancel the 400.00 bible study course.  MIL firmly indicated that there would be no gift exchange.

Yep

White Lotus

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2012, 12:05:53 PM »
Clarify to add that if I hadn't bought it, I wouldn't.  If it is already given, I wouldn't take it back.

lkl492

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #20 on: December 27, 2012, 03:13:20 PM »
Drama-free update... I'm happy to report!

Yes, to clear up the Bible study question...  I honestly have no idea why it's $400+.  I know she's been telling DH for ages about this correspondence course she's dying to take and just can't afford it.  She's a fan of the televangelists though, so I think it may be one of their methods of fundraising. 

So the no-drama update is that "good" MIL showed up on Christmas with her nutty sister in tow.  She got several things for DD and (holy cow) even something for DH & me!  (A few years ago she responded to opening a gift from me with "No Xmas gifts for you until I hear the pitter patter of little feet!"  I was undergoing fertility treatments at the time.) 

Her sister is another batty, passive aggressive story entirely, but at least DD had a good time!

BabylonSister

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Re: MIL and The Christmas Gifts
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2012, 06:09:54 PM »
Drama-free update... I'm happy to report!

Yes, to clear up the Bible study question...  I honestly have no idea why it's $400+.  I know she's been telling DH for ages about this correspondence course she's dying to take and just can't afford it.  She's a fan of the televangelists though, so I think it may be one of their methods of fundraising. 

So the no-drama update is that "good" MIL showed up on Christmas with her nutty sister in tow.  She got several things for DD and (holy cow) even something for DH & me!  (A few years ago she responded to opening a gift from me with "No Xmas gifts for you until I hear the pitter patter of little feet!"  I was undergoing fertility treatments at the time.

Her sister is another batty, passive aggressive story entirely, but at least DD had a good time!


And that's the "good" sister? Boy, I hope that $400 Bible study contributes to a personality overhaul (you might want to not hold your breath.)


I'm glad for your family that it was a drama-free Christmas, though!