General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

serve as a receptionist coordinator for a wedding? UPDATE #88!

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That is a tremendous amount of responsibility IMO - and that's just what the mother-of-the-bride has thought of so far. There may be other things which come up.

I honestly think this is too much to ask of one person. And I would never ask a friend to do this.

IF you want to help your friend, you might agree to perform one or two of the jobs she has mentioned - not the whole enchilada! That's a job for a professional IMO.

I think she is being very presumptuous, friend or not.

I think this is a tremendous favor to ask someone, and your friend may be better off hiring a professional wedding coordinator to do it or suggest that she spread the responsibility out between two or three people.  You will not be able to really enjoy the wedding at all because you will be working. 

OP here-
see, that's the thing-even though I know the family, this one child has been out of the house so long that I do not know her, and would not be invited to the wedding, anyway.  I did check on the schedule during our phone call, trying to find out if I would help at the rehearsal/dinner and wedding.  Mary said that I would only need to be at the reception site during the wedding, prepping, so I would NOT be attending the rehearsal/wedding.  Which is fine with me, but definitely made me realize it is a  job and not a favor.

Aside from how I come across on my posts, I can "go with the flow" and am very creative.  ;D  Teaching preschool for almost two decades has led me to believe that organization leads to creativity.  When you know what needs to get done, and what supplies you have, then you know how far you can go with it. 

As for this job, I may not have the experience, but I do think I could do it.  I have a strong voice and enough random volunteer experience that I can cobble together the know-how.  Mary said that property owner Cici is southern and sweet, but strong as steel and she is the one that asked/demanded that the reception coordinator meet with her beforehand, like a few weeks before.  This is Cici's home and business, and she likes things done well.

So, I would be working with a professional.  With high expectations.  And a non-confrontational mother who is a friend of mine and trusting me to keep her stress free. 


I am about to head out for a few hours, but I would appreciate more advice and stories. 

I do think I could do this (ego) but I do not want to goof and hurt Mary and her daughter.  What is the worst that could happen??  Would it be better if I was paid? 

Queen of Clubs:

--- Quote from: RegionMom on December 21, 2012, 08:44:10 AM ---I have been asked to be the contact person, and to bring ice, and make sure all is cleaned up, and to tell guests to stay close by, and corral potentially unruly children, and to tupperware the wedding cake after, and meet with the site owner beforehand, and maybe help coordinate carpooling since there is not really a parking lot.  I am sure there will be more.

--- End quote ---

And you're doing all this with up to 165 people?  How good is this friend of yours?  It sounds to me like you're not getting paid (wouldn't she have already said if you were?), you're going to spend days/weeks beforehand fielding calls and the day itself being run ragged before cleaning up.  This is a huge task, and that's before Mary thinks of more jobs to add to your plate.

It's nice that she's so sweet, but she's dumping all of this organisation into your lap.  If the happy couple want a wedding coordinator, they need to hire a professional who knows what to do and which jobs to farm out to *other* professionals.  Not rely on a friend of the bride's mother's to cover the whole lot.

I think you need to tell Mary it's not possible for you to do all that.  If you're feeling kind, pick out one or two jobs you don't mind being responsible for but leave the rest to the happy couple to sort out.  It's not your wedding, not your kid either, so why should you be made responsible?

She may be a friend, but in all that she is expecting you to do, she should be paying you.

It is up to you to decide if you are willing to take payment or not or ask for payment or not.   Since you are dear friends, it sounds like she is not inviting you to the wedding, (because with all of your responsibilities), you will not be able to enjoy the weddding/reception. 

What Mary is asking you to do is the job of any wedding planner, who gets paid for their job. 


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