serve as a receptionist coordinator for a wedding? UPDATE #88!

[yokozbornak]

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I am not an experienced wedding coordinator, and I feel that you would be better served by someone who is.  I looked up the names of a few professional wedding coordinators for you in case you are interested."

I would then email her a list of a few professionals in your area.

[JenJay]

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I am not an experienced wedding coordinator, and I feel that you would be better served by someone who is.  I looked up the names of a few professional wedding coordinators for you in case you are interested."

I would then email her a list of a few professionals in your area.

I'd go with that!

[AmethystAnne]

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I agree.

Also, call CiCi and tell her that you have declined.

[LeveeWoman]

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I am not an experienced wedding coordinator, and I feel that you would be better served by someone who is.  I looked up the names of a few professional wedding coordinators for you in case you are interested."

I would then email her a list of a few professionals in your area.

I wouldn't go that far because she might blame you if she chooses one who screws up.

[yokozbornak]

"Thank you for thinking of me, but I am not an experienced wedding coordinator, and I feel that you would be better served by someone who is.  I looked up the names of a few professional wedding coordinators for you in case you are interested."

I would then email her a list of a few professionals in your area.

I wouldn't go that far because she might blame you if she chooses one who screws up.

I suggested this because I think if she sees what a professional charges, and it may give her an idea of the huge favor she is asking of the OP. 

[Carotte]

OP, it's your friend so you will know if you have to do it, but if you have the slightest hint that she could, in a few months, turn back on you and twist what you said I'd also send a mail to have a paper trail, something reiterating "sorry I will not be able to do this, don't forget to inform Cici.. etc.."

And while I was typing the 'don't forget to inform Cici' it just occurred to me that your friend could ask Cici if she has some professionals to recommend, she probably has worked with a few already and they would know the place already.

[Amara]

I'm heaving a big sigh of relief in reading that you won't take this on, OP. And I think other posters' suggestions of what to say are good. Me? I'd probably be more blunt and use the simple, ever effective, and un-arguable e-Hell phrase "It's just not possible." I wouldn't want my friend to have anything to grasp onto nor would I want her to think my spine was softer than it was.

Congratulations on your decision. Very wise.

[siamesecat2965]

I'm heaving a big sigh of relief in reading that you won't take this on, OP. And I think other posters' suggestions of what to say are good. Me? I'd probably be more blunt and use the simple, ever effective, and un-arguable e-Hell phrase "It's just not possible." I wouldn't want my friend to have anything to grasp onto nor would I want her to think my spine was softer than it was.

Congratulations on your decision. Very wise.

POD - as I've said before on ehell, I'm a firm believer in the less said, the better. if she does try and convince you by telling you you're so organized ,etc., I'd simply point out that yes, but in completely different sitatuations, and that you've NEVER handled something like a wedding, and therefore, she needs to go with someone who has experience in that area.

[Queen of Clubs]

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I agree.

Also, call CiCi and tell her that you have declined.

Yes, definitely do this too!  Let Cici know there's no point in contacting you as you've got *nothing* to do with the wedding!

Good luck, OP.  I hope Mary accepts your no gracefully and that her daughter's wedding turns out beautifully.

[Audrey Quest]

I think you should tell her that you dont have time to take on a project like this and that she should hire a professional.

Her giving someone else your name as a contact before asking you is a huge red flag.

This should be about you and why you will not do it, not about why she shouldn't want you to do it.

And when all else fails, remember that "no" is a complete sentence and it can be repeated as often as necessary without being rude.

[ChiGirl]

"I think this requires the services of a professional; I'd hate to mess anything up.  I bet Cici can suggest someone!"

[SoCalVal]

"I think this requires the services of a professional; I'd hate to mess anything up.  I bet Cici can suggest someone!"

I'd change it to "You need the service of a professional.  When I call Cici to let her know not to contact me, I'll suggest she call you with names of professionals."  Gives Mary no room to argue, "Oh, I think you'll be fine; you wouldn't mess anything up!"

[Winterlight]

"I think this requires the services of a professional; I'd hate to mess anything up.  I bet Cici can suggest someone!"

I'd change it to "You need the service of a professional.  When I call Cici to let her know not to contact me, I'll suggest she call you with names of professionals."  Gives Mary no room to argue, "Oh, I think you'll be fine; you wouldn't mess anything up!"

This. . Keep it simple and don't JADE or give her holes to exploit.

[PastryGoddess]

"I think this requires the services of a professional; I'd hate to mess anything up.  I bet Cici can suggest someone!"

I'd change it to "You need the service of a professional.  When I call Cici to let her know not to contact me, I'll suggest she call you with names of professionals."  Gives Mary no room to argue, "Oh, I think you'll be fine; you wouldn't mess anything up!"

How about...


I already called Cici and let her know I wouldn't be the point of contact and I'm sure she has some names of professionals for you. I told her I'd speak to you on [date] so she's expecting your call.


Then bean dip, hang up, or run like the wind

[SoCalVal]

"I think this requires the services of a professional; I'd hate to mess anything up.  I bet Cici can suggest someone!"

I'd change it to "You need the service of a professional.  When I call Cici to let her know not to contact me, I'll suggest she call you with names of professionals."  Gives Mary no room to argue, "Oh, I think you'll be fine; you wouldn't mess anything up!"

How about...


I already called Cici and let her know I wouldn't be the point of contact and I'm sure she has some names of professionals for you. I told her I'd speak to you on [date] so she's expecting your call.


Then bean dip, hang up, or run like the wind

Or even...

First call Cici, "I'm sorry, but Mary was mistaken.  I will not be the reception coordinator AND WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE AT ALL FOR ANY ASSISTANCE; Mary will contact you shortly for further direction."

Then call Mary, "I let Cici know that I am not the reception coordinator and not to contact me for anything.  I let her know to expect your call shortly for how to proceed" then run like the wind (if necessary, have a member of your family standing by to immediately start calling for you so you have no choice but to hang up the phone immediately, "Gotta go, John Boy said the cat's on fire!"