Bagels - Here We Go Again

[suzieQ]

DS tells me my Mom doesn't seem to get that he has to count carbs, not just sugar. She will tell him "don't forget to see how much sugar is in that (whatever)" instead of having him look at the carb content.  She loves him and she means well, she just doesn't seem to retain the info that carbs are the important "thing" he has to keep track of. To her, sugar is what matters.

Coworker may just not be retaining the info you gave her about carbs - thinking "diabetics can't eat *sugar*, or need to keep track of *sugar* intake" seems to be a very common misconception. We didn't know either, until J was diagnosed.

[SamiHami]

DS tells me my Mom doesn't seem to get that he has to count carbs, not just sugar. She will tell him "don't forget to see how much sugar is in that (whatever)" instead of having him look at the carb content.  She loves him and she means well, she just doesn't seem to retain the info that carbs are the important "thing" he has to keep track of. To her, sugar is what matters.

Coworker may just not be retaining the info you gave her about carbs - thinking "diabetics can't eat *sugar*, or need to keep track of *sugar* intake" seems to be a very common misconception. We didn't know either, until J was diagnosed.

It's understandable really, when you consider that it's blood sugar that is monitored. It is easy for people to focus on sugar. Even the local diabetes initiative in my area is called "Project Sugar." So I can see why some people looking past that.

[kherbert05]

I would be politely direct with her.
Thank you, but I can't eat (X).
Or Thank you, but I can't eat until (Y time).


There are certain brands I don't eat. They don't list peanuts  - they don't have peanut warnings but I've landed in the  ER  after eating them. So when they are offered I say no thank you. If pressured I say I can't eat X brand.


If she pushes after that - shut her down and tell her to drop the subject.

[baglady]

Would it have been possible to take one or two "for later" instead of eating one right then?

Then you could truthfully tell her, "Yes, I got some!" And when you get them home, you could toss them, put them out for the birds, or freeze them for sometime when you *can* fit a bagel into your daily carb quota.

[PastryGoddess]

I don't think the OP should take food items she doesn't want, just to appease her coworker's feelings

[Shoo]

I don't think the OP should take food items she doesn't want, just to appease her coworker's feelings

Me either. 

If this happens again, I see nothing wrong with you speaking up and just saying to her face, "I don't WANT any.  I can't have them.  Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

[baglady]

I don't think the OP should take food items she doesn't want, just to appease her coworker's feelings

I do. I think it falls under the "accept a gift graciously" rule, and the "a gift is the recipient's to do with as she wishes" rule.

[ShadowLady]

The problem is, if she takes one, it will only encourage the co-worker to buy more of them and try to shove them onto the OP.

[MrTango]

The problem is, if she takes one, it will only encourage the co-worker to buy more of them and try to shove them onto the OP.

Agreed.

the OP should absolutely not have to accept food that she cannot eat.  She owes the Co-worker no explanation beyond "no, thank you."

The only rudeness here is the co-worker continuously stopping by the OP's desk to remind her about the bagels.

*Edited for wording*

[Midnight Kitty]

I used to work with a woman who was a "food pusher."  She was always bringing in food, then carrying it from person to person, telling them "take one."  She liked to socialize, so she would make the rounds repeatedly until the food was gone.  I am not fond of deep fried food and most Japanese & Korean dishes.  She would come around with malasadas (an especially greasy form of fried dough).  The look of the grease on them would turn my stomach.  I learned to say, "Just say 'no' to fried dough!"  When she tried to push Japanese delicacies on my, I would say, "Those are wasted on me. Give them to someone who likes them."

I found her incredibly annoying, yet many people thought she was a motherly, nurturing person. 

[ACBNYC]

I don't think the OP should take food items she doesn't want, just to appease her coworker's feelings

I do. I think it falls under the "accept a gift graciously" rule, and the "a gift is the recipient's to do with as she wishes" rule.

I disagree. A box of chocolates directly handed to her would be a gift, but bagels and doughnuts brought in for the whole office and left in the conference room/kitchen are not.

[lowspark]

Thanks, I've taken what I wanted.

No lie. You wanted nothing and you took same.

[lkl492]

I agree that you should be direct about why you don't/can't eat bagels.

OT-  When I saw the title of this thread my mind immediately went back to the Classic eHell story about the HOA & the Racist Bagels.  Gave me a good chuckle.

[TootsNYC]

I don't think the OP should take food items she doesn't want, just to appease her coworker's feelings

Me either. 

If this happens again, I see nothing wrong with you speaking up and just saying to her face, "I don't WANT any.  I can't have them.  Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

well, what would be wrong with that is that the OP has never said any of those things in the *first* place. So now being impatient, etc., over an explanation that has never been given would really be mean.

Explain things, please! Just say, 'It's so nice of you! Unfortunately, dense carbohydrates like bagels are even worse for me than sugar. So I can't have any. Is anyone else eating them? Will you be able to take the leftovers home?"

[PastryGoddess]

The OP said thank you when she was informed of the bagels by co-worker. 

Even if the co-worker brought them with the idea that everyone could eat them, including diabetics like the OP, the OP does not need to JADE her reasons to CW or anyone else for that matter.