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angry at friends-what to say?

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AllTheThings:
This happened yesterday, and I am wondering if I should say anything to my friends about what happened.

My college housing closed for the winter, so my friends and I have gone back to our parents' homes. Before the break, I made a plan with some friends that we would all meet in a city and spend the day there. The plan was that my three friends and an acquaintance who lived far from the city would go there the night before and spend the night with my acquaintance's older sister, who is also an acquaintance of mine. My three friends are much closer to the two sisters than I am. I had spent time with them, but just never enough to call them friends. My parents house is fairly close to the city, so I was going to take the train in and meet them for lunch. I wasn't too worried about getting around the city alone, as the streets in that area all have numbers, so it is pretty easy.

I got to the restaurant just fine and waited. After awhile, I got a call from my friend Mike, telling me that the sisters had decided to go to a different restaurant in a different part of the city, one without numbered streets. I told him I had no idea where that restaurant was, and asked for some help. He said they were taking the subway since it was a bit far to walk. I tried to find out where they were, but Mike was just following along and had no idea where they were at the moment. I finally get the info from him and realize that the subway station they are headed to is very close to where I am, so I ask Mike to tell the others to just give me a few minutes to get there, so that we could all head to the restaurant together, since I didn't know where it was.

A few minutes later, I get a call from my friend Marie, telling me that they were leaving without me! Apparently, the older sister was worried that there would be a long line at the restaurant and had decided that the group should leave, even though if they had waited just a couple more minutes, I would have joined them. I ask them to please wait for me, since I really wasn't confident that I could find this place by myself, but Marie just says that she is sorry, but the sisters really want to leave. Marie doesn't know the directions to the restaurant, so she puts the older sister on the phone. I'm having a lot of trouble hearing her, so I tell her to hang up and text me the directions. Instead, Older Sister decides that screaming the directions in my ear is a good idea. I finally get her to hang up and text the directions. The directions turn out to be missing a few crucial steps, but I manage to get some help from a cashier at a store and finally make it to the restaurant.

Naturally, I'm in a bad mood from all this, but I do manage to have fun for the rest of the day. Until it is time to go home, that is. My friends and the Younger Sister need to go back to Older Sister's apartment to get the car, so that they can leave. I need to head back to the train, but since I am now in a different area of the city than the one I arrived in, I don't know where the station is. It is also night time, and while it probably isn't that dangerous, I am a little uneasy about wandering around alone. So I ask if they could walk with me back to the station before they headed home. Younger Sister says, sorry, but they really need to get on the road. Older Sister rattles off some directions for me, which I assume are also useless. My friends kind of shrug their shoulders and say goodbye to me, and the whole group leaves me there by myself. Fortunately, I manage to get directions from a barista, and find the way to the station, which turned out to be about a 5 minute walk from where the group had left me! I also realized that the station was very close to the restaurant where we had lunch, and that if I had been informed that the plan had changed sooner, I would have gotten off the train at the stop to begin with and avoided this whole mess.

Clearly what happened was that the Sisters, who were basically in charge of all the plans, didn't care much about me since I am not their friend. My friends said they were concerned about me, yet didn't attempt to convince the Sisters to help me, and didn't want to help me themselves. I'm pretty hurt that they just went along with what the Sisters wanted. I'm wondering if I should say anything to them. I know if one of them had been nervous about being in a big, unfamiliar city alone, I would have done everything I could to meet up with them, so that they wouldn't have to be alone.



Girlie:
How long have you been friends with these people? At this point, their total lack of concern for your safety and well-being, together with their unwillingness to stand up for you at all makes me think they're not really worth your time and effort.

At the very least, if avoiding them is completely impossible, I would never make any sort of plans with them again, and I would tell them why.

I think you're completely justified in being angry, for what it's worth, and I'm sorry I don't have better advice.  :-\

EMuir:
I hate to say this, but you can't expect others to take care of your travel arrangements.  If someone agrees to join me for supper at a restaurant, I assume they have taken care of plans to get home.  I would be surprised if they asked me to walk them anywhere afterward.  If that is a condition of your meeting them, you should tell them up front that you can meet them if they will walk you to the closest transit station afterward.   

I tend to assume that people are in control of their own transportation unless they tell me otherwise, and hopefully up front.

Piratelvr1121:

--- Quote from: Girlie on December 21, 2012, 01:27:34 PM ---How long have you been friends with these people? At this point, their total lack of concern for your safety and well-being, together with their unwillingness to stand up for you at all makes me think they're not really worth your time and effort.

At the very least, if avoiding them is completely impossible, I would never make any sort of plans with them again, and I would tell them why.

I think you're completely justified in being angry, for what it's worth, and I'm sorry I don't have better advice.  :-\

--- End quote ---

POD. I'd be upset too, and from the sound of it, the OP did have control of her transportation and knew how to get to the original meeting place, but when plans were changed on her, they couldn't be bothered to make sure she was able to join them.

AllTheThings:

--- Quote from: EMuir on December 21, 2012, 01:28:47 PM ---I hate to say this, but you can't expect others to take care of your travel arrangements.  If someone agrees to join me for supper at a restaurant, I assume they have taken care of plans to get home.  I would be surprised if they asked me to walk them anywhere afterward.  If that is a condition of your meeting them, you should tell them up front that you can meet them if they will walk you to the closest transit station afterward.   

I tend to assume that people are in control of their own transportation unless they tell me otherwise, and hopefully up front.

--- End quote ---

I did have plans to get home, but since they changed the plans for the day, my plan didn't work anymore. I just don't understand why it would have been a big deal to help me in such a small way, especially since I couldn't have planned much better than I already had.

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