Should I tell her?

[QueenofAllThings]

I have a dear friend who I've been close to for 12 years. We socialize with our spouses and our kids are good friends.

Every year, we exchange small Christmas gifts. This year she gave me lovely Christmas cocktail napkins with our name emblazoned on them. 

It's spelled wrong.

I don't want to embarrass her, so I'm leaning towards not saying anything.  On the other hand, what if it wasn't her mistake? What if the printer made the error? On the other other hand, what if she really doesn't know how to spell my last name?   

What to do?

[Chickadee]

Yes, definitely tell her. If the printer made the error, then she can have it fixed. That's the easy part.

However, if she either misspelled your name when ordering the napkins or simply thinks your name is spelled differently, you may be (unintentionally) setting her up for embarrassment. What if she is at a dinner party you host and another guest points out that your name is misspelled on the napkins? She will most likely be embarrassed to some degree.

If it turns out that she has been misspelling your name for 12 years it could become a great inside joke!

[Luci45]

No. Don't mention it.

It's probably the only time she'll give you a gift like that, and your Christmas card exchange and stuff like that in life will tell her what your name really is.

Don't embarrass her.

[Isisnin]

Can you tell if she saw them after they were printed?  If they were sent directly to you from the store, she may not have seen them and it could be the printer's fault.  If you tell her, she can address the issue with the printer and maybe get correct ones.  Plus, if the printer does not offer to correct the situation, she will know not to use them again.

If she gave them directly to you, the misspelling was probably her fault.  But don't tell her as she may feel the need to buy you something again.  If she at some point realizes her mistake, you can laugh it off saying that the misspelling is why you particularly love them because it means she knows you family's sense of humour.

[Penguin_ar]

After 12 years, I would think this was a genuine mistake by the printer (or her inelligible handwriting).  Because 12 years of postcards, emails, invitations etc... surely she knows how to spell your name?

[oz diva]

A very close friend of my Mum's made her a sampler of their marriage/family. There was a picture of Mum and Dad, us four kids, our kids, pets. And then all their interests. She also put in their names, U. M. W. & M. G. W.

Only problem was that she got Dad's middle name wrong.

This was a hand embroidered work of art, given to her mounted and framed under glass. Mum has never had the heart to tell her of the mistake. But it makes us smile when we see it. No doubt it will confused future generations.

[Mental Magpie]

I would tell her.  After 12 years of friendship, I think she would take the embarrassment well if it indeed was her mistake.  If not, she has the opportunity to right the mistake with the printer.

[kareng57]

I wouldn't say anything.

Whether it was her error or the printer's - she would likely be very embarassed and I don't think that it would accomplish much, whether or not she'd already noticed the error.  Yes, I realize that many people on this board figured that name-spelling is a hill-to-die-on, but I'm not one of them - perhaps because my maiden name was continually misspelled and it didn't bother me all that much.

[CakeBeret]

I would tell her. Were it me, I'd take the chance to tease her about not loving me enough to get my name right, or something. My best friend always jokes that s+e had just learned to spell my last name when I got married, so she needed another 20 years to learn to spell the new one.

[YummyMummy66]

I would mention it, but not until after the holidays.

If she truly does not know how to spell your last name, and this is a good friend, she should know how to spell your last name, but I would not want to make her feel bad for not knowing at the holidays.

If it was a printer error, then she cna have it corrected.

Otherwise, I would keep said items and use them to wrap precious xmas keepsakes for storage.

[onyonryngs]

I wouldn't say anything.  She may very well have given the printer the wrong info then she's stuck paying to get it reprinted.  Most people double check the printer's work before leaving with what they ordered or when it arrives in the mail - or the printer requires approval on the proof.  In that case I can just see it causing embarrassment and extra money to fix it. 

[citadelle]

Another vote for say nothing. She will be embarrassed, and there's nothing to be done about it.

[postalslave]

Here's another side to consider:

If you were the giver of embroidered napkins (or anything) would you want to know if there was a spelling error?

[Missy2U]

I wouldn't say anything.  It would serve no purpose and only make her feel bad.

[Mental Magpie]

Here's another side to consider:

If you were the giver of embroidered napkins (or anything) would you want to know if there was a spelling error?

Yes, absolutely, I'd be more embarrassed to find out way later down the road that I'd had it wrong all along and my friend hadn't said anything to me.  I'd also want to know so I could right the problem, whether the problem was with how I'd been spelling it wrong for years or if the problem was with the printers.