Obviously, letting a toddler climb on the table while you're trying to set it or eat off it isn't OK, but I do have some sympathy for Brother and SIL. It's just not as easy as 'saying no' and the kid stops whatever thing you're wanting them to stop. It's pretty painful, sometimes, and I don't think they're horrible people for not wanting to deal with that on Christmas Day. Of course they're his parents and that's their responsibility, blah, blah, but I do understand.
It is in fact that easy, and not at all painful. Unless the parents make it that way.
I agree. My daughter was as active as they come, and we had no problem keeping her from doing the things she wasn't supposed to do.
I'm not sure you understood me. I meant that you don't just say 'no' to a toddler and they comply without protesting, and wander off happily to sit quietly with their quiet toys. There's the screaming, and the kicking, and the associated wailing and gnashing of teeth. If your kids are/were of the first variety, then you're super lucky.
I am able to keep my toddler from climbing on the table at someone's house, but sometimes it's because I pick him up off the table and walk out of the room/house while the wailing/kicking etc is going on. And that's pretty painful.
Of course, that's what you do, because letting the child climb all over the table while it's being set and people are eating off it aren't OK.
Obviously, letting a toddler climb on the table while you're trying to set it or eat off it isn't OK, but I do have some sympathy for Brother and SIL. It's just not as easy as 'saying no' and the kid stops whatever thing you're wanting them to stop. It's pretty painful, sometimes, and I don't think they're horrible people for not wanting to deal with that on Christmas Day. Of course they're his parents and that's their responsibility, blah, blah, but I do understand.
It is in fact that easy, and not at all painful. Unless the parents make it that way.
I agree. It takes patience and consistency but it's doable -- one of the primary jobs of a parent. If there's screaming and wailing, dealing with that is the parent's job as well. Giving in to screaming, wailing and "I don' wanna" just teaches the child that they don't have to follow directions. (This is absent any neurological issues, for those of you who want to chime in with the "but whaddabout Asperger's, etc.?" Except in the most extreme situations, those take more time and more patience, but still aren't impossible.)
It's not a matter of just saying "no," either. They have to be taught what "no" means, because it's not automatic. For a child this age, you physically remove them, each and every time, firmly saying "no." You keep an eagle-eye out and physically stop them as soon as they start. Again with the "no."
And, frankly, I don't give a rodent's posterior what the parents want or don't want to deal with on Christmas Day. It's a 24 hour-a-day 365-day-a-year job. I say that as a parent. You don't get a day off unless you arrange it before hand, in which case the current care-giver is responsible for doing what the parent must do, and that includes teaching what "no" means. If they parents don't want to parent, then they have the choice of staying home. A 2yo takes a lot of parenting.
I
do have a child with autism, so I can probably attest to what is or isn't possible, and what takes more work. And as someone who has listened to their fair share of screaming and wailing, and who has physically removed kid/left events early/not attended events/attended events that weren't kid friendly but attended due to family expectations/done a lot of work so that our issues don't impact on those around us, I can tell you that it is pretty painful.
I've also done it, because that's what you do - even on Christmas Day.
My point was not that these parents shouldn't do this - of course they should - just that I sympathise with them. It's a painful job.
