Okay...I'm back with another Uncle dilemma, so anyone who doesn't want to hear it is now informed.
I've pulled back a lot from the relationship
, but it seems that things are fine again between him and my brother, and my mother is okay with them for the most part. I'll be civil, I have no problem with that, but I'll never get that close again, nor let them get that close to me; my parents and bro can do what they want. Christmas dinner was nice at their house, and it was agreed that they would come over on Sunday to see our tree and have dinner with us here. I didn't say a word, and my older little cousin was keeping me busy showing me what she had gotten for Christmas. Everything was fine, and we went home.
Today, my uncle called and asked if my mom could change the day to the 27th (which he had originally asked for, but had agreed easily enough on Sunday instead). There are many reasons why this would not be possible; my mom works today, and the day after tomorrow. We haven't decided yet what we would make, so we haven't bought anything. My mom had promised to visit with my grandmother at their house on the 27th, which my grandmother was very excited about. We have a wedding shower on the 29th. And (though I'm not about to tell them, it's not their business) I have a dentist appointment on the 27th, the only appointment I could get before they stop accepting my insurance at the end of the year, and I'll be too numbed up to talk or eat. I can just hear the teasing now!
So, it was a no for the 27th, and my uncle is throwing a fit. He wants to visit with a friend of his, one whom he hasn't seen in a couple years, and he's trying to work around this friend's work schedule. I don't know why, but apparently it has to be Sunday. He hasn't seen this friend in a few years because he moved a good distance away. Now his friend is back, so I don't see why he can't just meet with him another time. This is one case where we just can't be flexible and juggle things around for him, like we've done in the past. The final thing that my mother described to me as being "nervy" (and I agree) is that my uncle said, "Well, can't he just come over too? And bring his girlfriend?"
Maybe another time it would have been okay, but my parents wanted it to just be family. And
they would prefer to invite the guests themselves.
I'm staying out of it as much as possible, but I live here too, so it's pretty much unavoidable that we all get caught up in each other's problems. Involved or not, I'll have to hear about it. I see trouble on the horizon if my mother doesn't cave. Anyone wonder why I've pulled back? LOL
Is this a case where "That won't be possible" is the thing to say? And are we rude for not accommodating my uncle who hasn't seen his friend in a couple years, or is he rude for trying to make us change our plans, some of which simply can't be changed?