Cell phone question UPDATE POST 28

[oceanus]

Sadie called me and we talked for a bit.  Then I had to call her back and the phone rang once and then to voice mail.  It is obvious to me, now, that my calls are somehow being routed directly to voice mail after one ring.  I don't know why.  I guess it is what it is. 

Well, on one hand she did call you and the two of you talked – but only because another person told her you wanted to talk to her.  It appears she has you on some auto-ignore feature that automatically bounces into voice mail.  Otherwise, she would have fixed/changed/made an adjustment.  IMO there's something else going on that has nothing to do with cell phone technicalities.  Like you said it is what it is.  I wouldn’t waste anymore time speculating, and I’d stop calling her.

Earlier this year I called someone a few times who I hadn’t heard from in ages.  I left a couple of vms.  Then I sent a text.  Instead of calling and talking to me she texted that she would call me later that week – she never did.  I let it go.  I was puzzled, but I don’t play those kinds of games and I don’t need that type of friendship.

[penelope2017]

To me it sounds like she hits ignore when you call, and by telling a mutual friend who then confronted her about it, Sadie was awkwardly  put on the spot to then call you. Even if we want to try to look at it as it was an accidental setting, which it doesn't sound like to me, it doesn't change that Sadie doesn't call you back either. For some reason Sadie isn't interested in talking to you as much as you are to her, and if she feels smothered, complaining to another friend who then intervened probably didn't help. Is there a reason you didn't bring the one ring issue up to her directly,like when you heard her cell ringing?

Either way I agree Is wait for her to make next call.

[RebeccainGA]

I know on my Android phone I can do that, deliberately (I have a bunch of sales call numbers set up that way). She may have done it accidentally, but it's possible that it's deliberate as well. Try calling from a land line that's not yours, and see what happens.

How do you do it? I have one unwelcome caller that I'd like to send straight to voice mail every time.

On my phone, you open the contact's address card, and there's an option to 'block caller'. Sends them straight to voicemail.

Of course, that only works if they use a real number. If they do the 'blocked number' or 'private caller' thing, you have to install an app - which DP has done, and it works well.

[kckgirl]

I know on my Android phone I can do that, deliberately (I have a bunch of sales call numbers set up that way). She may have done it accidentally, but it's possible that it's deliberate as well. Try calling from a land line that's not yours, and see what happens.

How do you do it? I have one unwelcome caller that I'd like to send straight to voice mail every time.

On my phone, you open the contact's address card, and there's an option to 'block caller'. Sends them straight to voicemail.

Of course, that only works if they use a real number. If they do the 'blocked number' or 'private caller' thing, you have to install an app - which DP has done, and it works well.

Great! Thank you.

[oceanus]

To me it sounds like she hits ignore when you call, and by telling a mutual friend who then confronted her about it, Sadie was awkwardly  put on the spot to then call you. Even if we want to try to look at it as it was an accidental setting, which it doesn't sound like to me, it doesn't change that Sadie doesn't call you back either. For some reason Sadie isn't interested in talking to you as much as you are to her, and if she feels smothered, complaining to another friend who then intervened probably didn't help. Is there a reason you didn't bring the one ring issue up to her directly,like when you heard her cell ringing?

Either way I agree Is wait for her to make next call.

Excellent point (re: complaining to another friend).  OP may not have "complained", per se, but she said something.  It's also clear that for whatever reason(s) Sadie isn’t interested in talking to OP.  This can be tough, and hurtful, if OP isn’t aware of any issue/problem.  But one can waste lots of time trying to figure out why another person is backing away and essentially ignoring them.

[MrsJWine]

I hate talking on the phone in general, but there are some perfectly lovely people that I really hate talking on the phone with. It isn't about their personality so much as how awkward I feel talking to them on the phone. But if she's avoiding talking on the phone with you, it doesn't necessarily mean she has a problem with you, personally. It's possible she likes you perfectly well enough and is just discreetly avoiding phone calls. If things otherwise seem good, don't read too much into it.

[Bijou]

To me it sounds like she hits ignore when you call, and by telling a mutual friend who then confronted her about it, Sadie was awkwardly  put on the spot to then call you. Even if we want to try to look at it as it was an accidental setting, which it doesn't sound like to me, it doesn't change that Sadie doesn't call you back either. For some reason Sadie isn't interested in talking to you as much as you are to her, and if she feels smothered, complaining to another friend who then intervened probably didn't help. Is there a reason you didn't bring the one ring issue up to her directly,like when you heard her cell ringing?

Either way I agree Is wait for her to make next call.

I actually wasn't complaining to Clara.  I figured she had the same experience as I had with the one ring and then voice mail.  The only reason the subject came up was because at dinner on Christmas I told Clara that I called Sadie to say Merry Christmas and said it's hard to reach her because her cell only rings once then goes to voice mail.  This is when Clara said this isn't her experience with Sadie's cell.  It rings and rings until answered or eventually goes to voice mail.  It actually never occurred to me that I might be blocked until the next day.
I'm sure she doesn't feel smothered.  She used to be the one initiating most calls.  I would call her about things, but not a lot. 
Like I said, I need to take care of myself.  One of my new years resolutions is to do that.

[Bijou]

I hate talking on the phone in general, but there are some perfectly lovely people that I really hate talking on the phone with. It isn't about their personality so much as how awkward I feel talking to them on the phone. But if she's avoiding talking on the phone with you, it doesn't necessarily mean she has a problem with you, personally. It's possible she likes you perfectly well enough and is just discreetly avoiding phone calls. If things otherwise seem good, don't read too much into it.

It wasn't always this way and she doesn't mind talking on the phone.  She used to call me every day just to chat.

[oceanus]

Something just occurred to me.  OP, you say you called Sadie several times and went into vm after one ring (immediately).  But I don’t recall you saying that you actually left a message.  You could have said “Hey, Sadie, Merry Christmas!  Call me when you get a chance.”

I told Clara that I called Sadie to say Merry Christmas and said it's hard to reach her because her cell only rings once then goes to voice mail.

Did you leave a message?

Or were you just hanging up when you reached her vm?  Because if so, she was getting several “missed call” notifications and hang-ups, and I can see where she would find that annoying; I certainly would.

[penelope2017]

To me it sounds like she hits ignore when you call, and by telling a mutual friend who then confronted her about it, Sadie was awkwardly  put on the spot to then call you. Even if we want to try to look at it as it was an accidental setting, which it doesn't sound like to me, it doesn't change that Sadie doesn't call you back either. For some reason Sadie isn't interested in talking to you as much as you are to her, and if she feels smothered, complaining to another friend who then intervened probably didn't help. Is there a reason you didn't bring the one ring issue up to her directly,like when you heard her cell ringing?

Either way I agree Is wait for her to make next call.

I actually wasn't complaining to Clara.  I figured she had the same experience as I had with the one ring and then voice mail.  The only reason the subject came up was because at dinner on Christmas I told Clara that I called Sadie to say Merry Christmas and said it's hard to reach her because her cell only rings once then goes to voice mail.  This is when Clara said this isn't her experience with Sadie's cell.  It rings and rings until answered or eventually goes to voice mail.  It actually never occurred to me that I might be blocked until the next day.
I'm sure she doesn't feel smothered.  She used to be the one initiating most calls.  I would call her about things, but not a lot. 
Like I said, I need to take care of myself.  One of my new years resolutions is to do that.

Right, but once Clara clarified it was not her experience, the next time it happened you still called Clara to again report this was happening, who then called Sadie immediately after she likely hit ignore on your call, and Clara called instead, chatted her up, and then said you were looking for her. From OP:

Yesterday I was talking to Clara, telling her that I couldn't reach Sadie to say Merry Christmas because her phone goes directly to voice mail.  Clara was surprised to hear that it rings only once because when she calls Sadie at that number it rings several times until she answers or eventually goes to voice mail.
When I tried to call Sadie this morning I got the one ring and voice mail.  I called Clara and she tried calling Sadie.  Clara got through after a couple of rings and they had a long conversation.

Even if Sadie hit ignore, she certainly wasn't going to tell Clara that - she was on the spot and then had to call you.

I know you said Sadie used to call a lot etc. People do change. Sometimes they get busy and have less time to devote to calls than they used to. I don't think that she's blocked your number but it does sound like she has less time to chat and simply hits ignore.

I agree that calling her way less, if at all, is a good move toward taking care of yourself going forward. Devote your time to people who value it.

[oceanus]

Sometimes they get busy and have less time to devote to calls than they used to. I

However, OP mentioned Sadie had a long chat with Clara.  She made time for that. (Not trying to make OP feel bad, but as previously pointed out Sadie appears to not be that interested in chatting with OP.)  Add to that OP's repetitive calls (whether she left messages or hung up when she reached vm) and OP's mentioning the problem to Clara twice, thereby putting Sadie on the spot.

[MrsJWine]

Sometimes they get busy and have less time to devote to calls than they used to. I

However, OP mentioned Sadie had a long chat with Clara.  She made time for that. (Not trying to make OP feel bad, but as previously pointed out Sadie appears to not be that interested in chatting with OP.)  Add to that OP's repetitive calls (whether she left messages or hung up when she reached vm) and OP's mentioning the problem to Clara twice, thereby putting Sadie on the spot.

I used to talk on the phone all the time, with anyone. I don't know what changed, but there are very few people for whom I'll pick up regularly anymore. And there are some people I make myself talk on the phone with because I care about them, and it's the only way to communicate with them. But I still like my friends for whom I won't pick up most of the time anymore.

[Bijou]

Something just occurred to me.  OP, you say you called Sadie several times and went into vm after one ring (immediately).  But I don’t recall you saying that you actually left a message.  You could have said “Hey, Sadie, Merry Christmas!  Call me when you get a chance.”

I told Clara that I called Sadie to say Merry Christmas and said it's hard to reach her because her cell only rings once then goes to voice mail.

Did you leave a message?

Or were you just hanging up when you reached her vm?  Because if so, she was getting several “missed call” notifications and hang-ups, and I can see where she would find that annoying; I certainly would.

Oh, yes.  I always leave a voice mail.  I should have made that clear.  It would be very annoying to get a call from someone who just hangs up. 

[Bijou]

Well, I found out why I cannot reach Sadie on her cell phone. 
I have my information blocked from showing up on caller ID.  Some people won't let a call through unless they can see who is calling.  It's a sort of blocking calls from private numbers.  Some people I call do have this is place so I have to dial *82 then their number.  Tonight I called her using *82 then her number and the call went through normally with several rings.  So, I'm glad that's solved!  In essence I was blocking my own self! 
On a regular land line phone the operator tells you that you have to dial star 82 then the number in order to get through to those numbers, but on a cell you get no such message, thus my confusion (and paranoia... )