Was it unreasonable to expect her to attend?

[Sharnita]

OP, what prevents your dad from going to Lita's house while her kids are in town? Why is him being home alone another notch against her? I apologize if that's incorrect, but the tone of your posts comes across strongly defensive of your father and wanting to blame Lita for the entire situation. Did she commit a faux paus? Yes. But since it doesn't seem like she set out to I really wonder about the amount of animosity and blame solely aimed in her direction.

Also, she may be trying to be respectful of your role in the family if she suspects your feelings. You are obviously defensive about your father, and since you describe yourself as having stepped into your mothers shoes as far as hosting is concerned she may not have realized what a big deal her attending Christmas would be to you. If your attitude conveys the negativity towards her your posts do I can't help but wonder if she believes you would have preferred a family Christmas without her presence.

In the update OP made it clear he did go to her house ofr Christmas eve which is her family's big celebration.

[AustenFan]

Sharnita, I was asking about the update where OP states that since Lita and her children are at her home OP's father is home alone. What prevents him from joining them?

[snowdragon]

Sharnita, I was asking about the update where OP states that since Lita and her children are at her home OP's father is home alone. What prevents him from joining them?

Perhaps he was not invited to

[ChiGirl]

I'm not impressed with Lita here, for two additional reasons:

1) The Chinese food was her suggestion.  Look, I often eat Chinese food on Christmas, but I would never suggest it as a Christmas dinner for someone who was actually celebrating Christmas.  Particularly if that family had a tradition of eating traditional "Christmas food" (turkey, goose, whatever).  Saying, "oh, let's just order Chinese" is denigrating the importance of the event.

2) Lita and the OP's dad are enough of a social unit that he spent Christmas eve with her family, instead of his own children...but the next day, Lita can't possibly leave her children to spend time with the OP's family.  Seems like she's prioritizing "her" people over "his" people.  I wonder how the OP's dad feels about that.