I cannot post now? had to save this in a document and post in the morning...
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ok, here is the
DS was given a check for....$120.00!!!
The elderly grandma thought he was a professional mover, because he helped arrange how to get things moved with the best balance. She entrusted only him to wrap her breakable stuff.
Yup, wrapping, then packing, cuz nothing
had been done beforehand. And her mobile home was just as overloaded as her son's home. The dad had told her that his teen girls, his DD's would do the packing. I can only imagine how much stuff there was. Well, I did see the full sized u-haul truck, with an attached smaller haul behind it, plus a loaded down mini-van. Yikes!
Quick run-down of the day:
dad flies down to answer door in PJ's, entire house still asleep.
8:30ish (not 9, my bad) 1st group leaves for 60-90 minutes away town, all guys.
10am 2nd group leaves. This group had the girls that were supposed to help pack.
All day wrap, pack, brute strength, move, carry, tote, lift...including a piano
1pm cold chicken lunch with sides, water only
All day repeat above
9pm prepare to leave
10:30 DH and I both go to the house, and wait in the street. We see a car pull up.
It is three girls in g'ma's car! (oldest DD and two of her friends) They are ahead of the full-sized U-haul, coming soon.
We all go in. The girls all have take away food, and scarf it down, claiming starvation. No one had been fed dinner.
Oldest DD said, "yeah, my family loses track of time, and we forgot."
10:45 the guys arrive!
DS is given a check for $120! The mom wrote it, no sign of dad.
10:50 walking outside, DS was asked to help uncouple the 2nd trailer. That's where dad was! DS does help, and we leave.
Home- dinner!!!!! bed.
Teaching karate was not for pay, nor was he expected to be there. The higher belts "teach" the younger belts by example, and are often paired in groups. DS goes as often as he can for recording helper hours for belt advancement, but he does not have to, and is not on any schedule. Think of it like a group aerobics or yoga class- you just show up, and the paid teacher decides how to run the class, in groups, mats, levels, etc...
, your post is a great example of why I tried to use the teaching class tonight as an excuse to get the dad to have him home by a reasonably expected hour- teaching implies payment and students' expecting a specific teacher. I was expecting the dad to understand that DS had other responsibilities, and he did not need to know that teaching was strictly optional, and volunteer.
It was a safety net for DS to use, but without his driving, he was at their mercy and schedule.
DS was asked to help unload tomorrow, but I texted him earlier some classic e-hell lines ("No," and, "I am afraid that will not be possible") and he is free!!
to have his own time tomorrow.
They did want him if even just for the piano, 30 minutes of work. He said no!
My family agreed together that we will no longer help out this family.
Funnily enough, the two friends of the oldest DD also shuddered at the memory of the day and said to the girl that they would never help them move again.
Now my kids have seen me posting and they want to read this thread in the morning. Yikes!
Oh well. I guess we all have to learn!
and, yes, boundaries.
Thank-you, e-hellions, for having this ongoing life discussion with me.
Oh, reading "new posts" since last night-
a friend of mine said that we are "too Baptist," meaning that we do for others too much.
DS just turned 17 and he knew what he was getting in to. He decided that he would get a good workout for his muscles, make some money, and just stay focused instead of all hot and bothered.
If he felt it was wrong, he would say so. As to why we, as parents, allowed him to go the 2nd day? Honor, commitment, life lesson...
He can write a theme on why asking a teen to wash dishes the night before a paper is due is akin to child abuse and wanting your child to fail, but if someone else asked him to take that same time and more to review their paper, he would do it.
Ack, apple, tree...