Author Topic: Is 7am-8pm too long of a favor to move? UPDATE #49  (Read 7351 times)

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penelope2017

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Re: Is 7am-8pm too long of a favor to move? UPDATE #49
« Reply #60 on: December 28, 2012, 10:35:21 AM »
"Honor"? There's nothing honorable about allowing yourself to get screwed over.

Exactly. Thanks for saying what I wanted to say. Your son was totally underpaid and taken advantage of in terms of time, money, everything.

And I still don't know what your etiquette or any other question you had in this thread. Your question in the OP really had nothing to do with the thread. And I still don't know why you didn't correct the dad on the first when he stiffed your son's pay. You haven't clarified that.

Your platitudes justifying why your son went back the second time confuse me. What exactly is the "life lesson" you feel you and your son have learned from this experience?

"Commitment?" I guess your son's learned that he should honor commitments to people who have no regard for their own commitment to hours, a schedule or fair wage? That commitment only goes one way?

What have you taught your son about "honor" by sending him back to get screwed over twice? That he should make sure to do it again?

There's an inherent moral superiority from the OP that I find insulting. Posters who have responded trying to help you do understand and value what honor and commitment mean. I, and many of them, do not think they apply here.

Dalek

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Re: Is 7am-8pm too long of a favor to move? UPDATE #49
« Reply #61 on: December 28, 2012, 10:48:53 AM »
Yeah, she has been the one put off the most by this friend, so I guess she knew better. 

 :P

Sounds like your DS could learn from his sister's example. Your DD seems very wise.
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Steve

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Re: Is 7am-8pm too long of a favor to move? UPDATE #49
« Reply #62 on: December 28, 2012, 11:01:41 AM »
Let's not pile upon regionmom like this. She is obviously bothered by the treatment of her DS (and DD). Spines do not miraculously appear in anyone, least of all polite ones.

The honor discussion seems to be more semantics than anything else.



TootsNYC

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Re: Is 7am-8pm too long of a favor to move?
« Reply #63 on: December 28, 2012, 11:02:20 AM »

DS was asked to be there by 7am.  He was.  They were not even awake, and did not leave till well after 9am.  Good thing DS brought a book to read while he waited on them!

I'd be mentioning this, too:

"My son helped today because he wants you to recognize him as a man of his word. He feels his commitments very strongly. He gave you his respect. I feel I must point out that you let him down and that you were very disrespectful to him in return. You made a return commitment to him--to pay him $10 per hour, which you balked at; to keep him for 5 hours the first day, which you blew past; to be ready to use his time at 7 am, which you were not; to get him back from the project in time for him to keep his *other* commitment at karate, which you did not.
   "Just because my son is a child is not an excuse to treat his time as though it has no value. In fact, I believe that is even *worse,* to take advantage of a kid like that.
    "As his father, it's my job to look out for him. I'm the grownup and the teacher in his life, and I believe you owe him an apology.
    "Also, I think you need to know how your actions are seen by someone other than a kid. I hope that you'll see that another grownup thinks this was incredibly disrespectful and that you'll reconsider how to deal with people who happen to be younger than you. Paying him for his time does not remove your responsibility to treat him with respect."

And I'd be talking w/ son about the whole thing and letting him know that *I* don't think this is a proper way to treat people. I'd make sure that at the very least, HE heard those points.