When giving a child a gift

[m2kbug]

Add me to the #4 list.  I would follow the general guidelines on age-appropriateness and ask the salesperson what are popular games or books for this age group.  Usually I just ask the parents what sorts of things their kids want or I know the family enough that I know what kinds of boundaries or guidelines I'm working with.  I would stay away from anything that might be considered too risque or controversial.

[Hmmmmm]

I go with 4 and try to stick with things that are generally acceptable for the age group. 

For the other hypotheses, if a parent suggested a gift I didn't want to endorse, I'd choose a different gift.

[mstigerlily]

I would say it depends. If you know this family has any sort of restrictions (ie one of my friends' family has religious issues with witches and similar magical creatures) I always ask. I also like the suggestion about reading reviews.

You can also talk to the local public library's children's librarian, who usually is well read and knowledgeable about children's media. He or she is also usually up on the current trends or views on books, such as which books have been banned, panned by certain groups, or is not liked by people in your town.

[Thipu1]

This is a true 'know your audience' situation.

Most people giving a media gift to a child are probably aware of the parents' values and restrictions (if any). Unless the giver knows that this is definitely something the child would enjoy and the parents would approve, it's not a bad idea to cue the parents in.  Providing access to reviews and plot summaries is an excellent idea.

In the library where I worked, we had a long-term practice of making pencil notations of reviews on the fly leaf of our books.  Any reader who had doubts could go to the reviews and form her/his own opinion.

[Carpathia]

I always used to go with '4' but have recently thought more about checking with parents first before getting anything.

The reason is that when my kids were younger, we were very much the strictest parents in their peer group and I knew that many of their friends for whom we bought a book or game were allowed anything they wanted including 18-rated films and games so any choice of something I considered age appropriate (eg a U or PG film or a book I'd let my own kids read) would be just fine.

However, now the kids are at a different school we have gone from being the strictest parents to the most liberal parents. For example, when my kids were 10 or so I would let them watch a 12-rated film if I'd seen it first and considered it OK. Their same-age friends were allowed to watch anything. I wouldn't allow any kid under the age rating to watch in my house unless I had asked their parent. We were considered very restrictive.
Now, our policy of letting the kids watch/play higher-rated films/games if we have vetted them first is seen as very loose by many parents at the new school, so we haven't changed but the surroundings have if you see what I mean.

I think that for other occasions when you know the family then 4 is generally OK but if you're unsure it never hurts to ask.
Years ago I wouldn't allow a couple of TV shows or spin-off merchandise but really the only way of knowing that was if people knew us well or if they asked. I couldn't very well go around informing people that if they ever bought gifts then they shouldn't buy X or Y without them starting the conversation.

[onikenbai]

I've got nieces and nephews who were scared by The Sound Of Music, so their parents watch pretty much everything before the kids do.

I think I was about 14 before I found out the movie didn't end at the wedding.  I always got sent to bed after the wedding and my parents told me that was the end.  I was right annoyed when I found out there was at least another hour to it!

[mbbored]

I've got nieces and nephews who were scared by The Sound Of Music, so their parents watch pretty much everything before the kids do.

I think I was about 14 before I found out the movie didn't end at the wedding.  I always got sent to bed after the wedding and my parents told me that was the end.  I was right annoyed when I found out there was at least another hour to it!

I was 16 before I learned about the Flying Monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.

[gorplady]

If I have a question about whether or not a toy/book/game/movie is appropriate, I contact the parents and ask them. If I can't get in touch with them before I need to purchase the item, I don't buy it and buy something I know is appropriate.

Generally, I trust parents to parent their children so if I do indeed buy something that they don't approve of, I am pretty sure the parents can take care of disposing it, hiding it, putting it away.