General Etiquette > Family and Children

When giving a child a gift

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CakeEater:
I came back to say that my kids have been given toys/books that were a bit advanced for their stage of development at times
(through misjudgement, nothing else) and I've just put them away for when they're a bit older. That's worked well for me so far. We haven't been given anything that I would put a blanket ban on, so I can't say what I'd do in that situation.

ClaireC79:
Just let them have it, I would stick to age ratings and if I'd heard something was contraversial I'd avoid that, but otherwise it's up to the parent.

I did used to warn my now 12 year old if someone was going to die in a book (not tell her who) and let her chose if to read it or not - it did put her off one of the Harry Potter books for a year but she was 8 or 9 then, about a year or so later I realised that she'd read others with a character dying that I didn't know about and coped

Penguin_ar:
Generally 4, unless I had reason to suspect the parents may not like it from the start- for example one of my sisters-in-laws does not like her boys to play computers games that involve shooting/ war etc, so even if her 15 year old asked for such a game, I'd run it by her first.

Sharnita:
I think it would really depend on a case by case situation.  If there is something in it that word of mouth indicates at least some people/parents object to then I would mention what I was thinking before ever getting the gift. If there is a chance they wouldn't want their child to have itthen I don't see any point in buying it so having the conversatin after really makes no sense to me.

camlan:
Mostly #4. I know the parents of the kids I'm close enough to give presents to, and have a fairly good idea of what they consider appropriate for their kids. Most of them screen movies before letting their kids watch them, so that's not a huge problem. I've got nieces and nephews who were scared by The Sound Of Music, so their parents watch pretty much everything before the kids do.

On the rare occasion when I've wanted to give a book but wasn't completely sure about all the content, I've asked the parents first and gone with their judgement.

My big problem is that sometimes I give the *parents* DVDs that aren't really appropriate for their kids. And then the parents let the kids watch them without previewing them, and the kids see something that their parents wish they hadn't. Then the parents start to get upset with me, until I remind them that the gift wasn't for the kids, but the adults in the house--who should have known better than to let an 8 year old watch something R rated without checking first. 

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