computers

[kaybee]

background--my eldest dd is majoring in computer--she's a sophmore and has taken many computer classes.

mil recd a new model of something like an ipad /computer from her children who live in other country a few months ago.mil is not terribly computer ept and whenever my sil visits from other country she has to fix things on mil ipad/computer.this takes not very long since sil has exact same model.this model is not sold in our country so no one here is familiar with it.

issue--mil keeps asking my dd if she knows someone who could help her with her ipad/computer and when dd suggested that she personally could probably do it if she played around for a little while--mil told her she didn't want anyone playing around with the ipad/computer.

everytime that dd speaks to mil,mil asks her if she has any friends who are good with computers who could help out mil.dd is starting to feel insulted since she herself is a computer science major and would be perfectly capable of dealing with this.

dd is thinking of saying something to mil the next time she asks for dd to find a friend to help her.should she say soemthing like---i really am perfectly capable of dealing with this......or just ignore?

[Shoo]

"No, Grandma.  I don't know anyone."

Obviously Grandma doesn't want your daughter to do it.  So just have your daughter say the above and then beandip.

[Luci45]

I think the problem was that DD said she needed to 'play' with it.  She should have said 'work' with it for a bit.

She now should just say 'not yet' about knowing anybody, or be honest a say she can 'work' with it awhile, but needs Grandma to be a bit patient with the process.

Is there anything online that someone can reference to help Grandma? Even if it is for the now advisor/teacher/helper? Something that can be printed out that the owner can understand?

[kaybee]

mil is not good with computers and altho there is a user manual she has not used it.sil sat with her a few times to teach her what to do.

imho,her kids made a mistake in getting this ipad/computer for her.she could have easily used a desktop that would be easier for her to deal with.she definately has never taken her ipad/computer out of the houseand also has trouble printing off it as well as faxing.......but that is not the issue...they also got her a kindle fire rather than getting her the simplest kindle which she probably could have handled......but i digress........

luci45--i think you may be right--the word "play" was probably the wrong thing to say altho that's what all of dd's cohorts say when they are learning a new device or program.and patience is not her strong suit.......

[Slartibartfast]

Honestly, I think she's better off not becoming your MIL's computer go-to person - otherwise your MIL will discover that it's easier to call your DD about every little thing than it is to fix it herself (or go without) and your DD will really start to feel used.

[kaybee]

Slartibartfast--you are right....i will pass along this wise advice

[m2kbug]

Probably MIL needs to stop messing with things.  I don't know what in the world Grampa was doing, but the computer guy of the family was forever having to go over and fix it.  Finally ComputerGuy started telling Grampa you need to stop doing that, I can't be over here all the time trying to undo the damage.  I wonder if MIL is fishing for people to do free work because she keeps breaking it, and DD isn't convenient as far as location goes.  I can understand DD feeling slighted, but DD doesn't want to dish up all her friends to be at the mercy of someone who can't maneuver around the iPad.  I agree with Slartibartfast. 

[kaybee]

dd's uni is actually quite cloae to mil......but after reading pp here--dd also agrees that she doesn't want to be her granmother's computer tech


on a positive note--dh has hired dd to write develop a website to do an online survey for a project in his consulting business---and dd is very excited to get practical experience which will look great on her cv

[VorFemme]

I heard about a Goodwill site that offers FREE computer lessons (a person who just upgraded from an earlier version of Windows to start learning XP this year gave me the information).

http://www.gcflearnfree.org/

[Hillia]

POD to Slartibartfast -no matter how close your DD is to grandma, becoming the go to person for the family's computer issues can be a huge pain in the behind.  She may be better off keeping her distance.

[Itza]

Honestly, I think she's better off not becoming your MIL's computer go-to person - otherwise your MIL will discover that it's easier to call your DD about every little thing than it is to fix it herself (or go without) and your DD will really start to feel used.

I completely agree.

My personal belief is that if someone wants to use an item, say a computer, then it's their responsibility to learn how it works, firewalls, antivirus software, all basic, knowledge instead of relying on friends or relatives to do things for them that they're perfectly capable of doing themselves if they'd read the instructions (sorry, this is very triggering for me due to my mother acting helpless). Obviously, if more serious problems occur, then by all means, ask computer savvy experts since that's what they're there for, but yeah, basically, don't allow your DD to become the go-to person because your MIL will become dependent on it and believe she can't do it herself. That's not a road you wanna go down!


(Sorry, I think I've eaten too much chocolate at once. I'm feeling a sugar buzz and it's coming out in my writing!)

[thedudeabides]

Just say no to becoming family tech support. Tell her to find a willing classmate she trusts but isn't close friends with and put him/her in touch with grandma.

[kaybee]

OP here

i think dd has just decided to bean dip and just say she doesn't know anyone.........just not worth the angst

[Luci45]

OP here

i think dd has just decided to bean dip and just say she doesn't know anyone.........just not worth the angst

That was truly my first thought, but you said DD was a little hurt. Youthful enthusiasm and love for the woman and a genuine desire to help may all come into play here.

I'm glad for her decision.

Lucas's older brother and sister-in-law, both over 70, have never gotten a computer and are still talking about it. Brother has no patience and I really shudder to think that they may get one and call me or their grandchildren for help. At first I was willing, but it has gone on too long (15 years) and they obviously don't have the enthusiasm or dedication anymore, and I know their learning abilities have deteriorated. Scares me and makes me sad, but that's it. (I'm only a little younger, but had to teach computer skills and programming for my job, so kind of grew up with the industry, and I'm still pretty shaky on a lot of things.)

[Slartibartfast]

Lucas's older brother and sister-in-law, both over 70, have never gotten a computer and are still talking about it. Brother has no patience and I really shudder to think that they may get one and call me or their grandchildren for help. At first I was willing, but it has gone on too long (15 years) and they obviously don't have the enthusiasm or dedication anymore, and I know their learning abilities have deteriorated. Scares me and makes me sad, but that's it. (I'm only a little younger, but had to teach computer skills and programming for my job, so kind of grew up with the industry, and I'm still pretty shaky on a lot of things.)

Depending on what they want one for, I'd highly recommend an iPad.  It's much cheaper, less intimidating to use, and it doesn't require the same type of maintenance that a computer does.  You can be a lot more clueless about good browsing practices, virus protection, etc. and not have to deal with things going wrong.  The app store is also pretty intuitive, so once you walk an elderly relative through it once or twice they can actually get new apps themselves.

(We got MIL an iPad for her birthday this year - she's purposely helpless on most computer issues, but she's taken to the iPad really well!)