Graveside service, what to wear?updated post 17

[MOM21SON]

My friends father died a few days before Christmas.  She is having a private graveside service, she invited me.  I have no idea what to wear.  Can I wear really nice jeans and a sweater?

[QueenofAllThings]

I wouldn't. Are you somewhere where there may be snow/cold weather? If so, practical shoes or boots, nice slacks in a somber color, and a blazer, turtleneck sweater, or nice sweater under your winter coat.

If you are in a warm climate, slacks and a suitably subtle jacket.  I just don't  think jeans are appropriate for graveside. Skirts and dresses are, of course, OK too.

[nutraxfornerves]

I agree. What you would wear to a funeral, appropriately altered for weather and terrain.

[MOM21SON]

Thank you both!  Looks like I need to shop gosh darnit

[Sharnita]

I would make weather the first concern. 

[Luci45]

My friends father died a few days before Christmas.  She is having a private graveside service, she invited me.  I have no idea what to wear.  Can I wear really nice jeans and a sweater?

Holy moly! Just be comfortable, warm and respectful!
 
And be able to shed the coat for the dinner.

[MOM21SON]

Thats just it, the weather!  I am in SE Fl and it is crazy!   Rain and cold and rain and hot.  It is possible that it could be really hot or cold.  I do know there will be no snow, but mud is a real possibility.  And I don't know if chairs are involved.

[kherbert05]

Thats just it, the weather!  I am in SE Fl and it is crazy!   Rain and cold and rain and hot.  It is possible that it could be really hot or cold.  I do know there will be no snow, but mud is a real possibility.  And I don't know if chairs are involved.

Plan on not being able to sit. There is often limited seating at graveside services. They actually asked us how many would absolutely need a chair for Mom's graveside service. That is how many chairs that were there. We had a elderly relative that we weren't expecting, because she rarely left her home, come to the service. I insisted she sit (she is the youngest of my Grandmother's generation and only one still living).  BIL and I stood behind Sis's chair (she was pregnant with Loren still recovering from 2 broken knees). The funeral director kept fussing wanting me to sit. 

[JeanFromBNA]

I would wear dark pants (not jeans) and nice top, with a jacket, cardigan, or coat to suit the weather.

[Sharnita]

I agree - plan to stand.  Although SE Fl changes what I imagine just a bit.  I was imagining ice and snow and long coats that cover most of what you are wearing.

[doodlemor]

Here is some purely practical advice.

Don't wear pants that are wide enough at the bottom for bees or other creatures to get into when you walk through the grass.  Same thing for shoes - beware of sandals or anything with an open toe or heel.

[Sharnita]

And no heels that will sink into the grass

[cheyne]

If rain is a concern, please bring an umbrella.  Flat shoes or boots (boots esp if it's raining/muddy), dark pants with a subdued blouse/sweater and a light jacket if necessary.

[EmmaJ.]

And no heels that will sink into the grass

I was just going to post this.  I attended a graveside service recently and wore heels.  Very difficult walking through grass and then standing for the entire service.  There were chairs for the immediate family only.

[Ceallach]

I agree with PPs - definitely funeral attire, but adjusted for the surroundings eg weather and terrain appropriate.    The last one I went to, last month, I wore a black knee-length sundress and black cardigan, with flat black sandals.  It was warm enough weather here for that, and the outfit was practical for the grass etc.   There was no seating.