Author Topic: "You can give So and SO your old one!"  (Read 12168 times)

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snowdragon

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"You can give So and SO your old one!"
« on: December 29, 2012, 08:29:11 PM »
This happened with a teacher, but it could be anyone, and I think the etiquette of it is interesting.

I just bought a kindle fire HD. My professor, who has a habit of hiring past students to help her as needed, wanted to see it and decide whether to buy an I pad mini or the fire HD. So Saturday when I was being her "Saturday Chauffeur" so she could play with it.
 She gave it a good going over and played with it for about a half hour - and then announced that the student who usually works with her on Saturdays wanted a kindle fire and since I had the new one, I could "Just give Amanda* your old one" - I must admit to choking on my drink, at that as I told her that was not going to happen - she was pretty put out.
  This is not the first person I've seen try to commandeer stuff from one person to another, because someone had more than Someone thinks they "need". Is it just me or does this come out as rude - and what is the polite way to handle this - because I doubt choking on your drink/words is the right way to go.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2012, 08:32:08 PM »
Volunteering someone else for help is rude. 

Time to deploy, "I'm sorry, but that won't be possible." 

Double points off for the professor who is in a position of authority and shouldn't be suggesting these things.

VorFemme

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2012, 08:39:25 PM »
Perhaps "you've already promised it to a relative"?  Because you are related to yourself, right?

My mother has a spare ereader (same type, so duplicates of the chargers, etc. - as long as she doesn't coil the wires up so tightly that they break).  And has no intention of passing along the "spare" to anyone because it was a "present"!  Besides, if the battery needs charging on one, she can pick up the other one and keep reading....
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kherbert05

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2012, 08:53:28 PM »
I got that at work with when I got my new Iphone. Apparently I was going to "sell" it to a coworker. No one asked me. 3 problems with this idea.

1. It was a 3s not a 4S like they assumed. (Yes I'm a geek but I tend to hold on to phones through the whole contract and then some).
2. It was promised to Brett (to use as a Itouch)
3. It was stolen from the school cafeteria the day before the 5 came out.
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yokozbornak

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2012, 09:29:01 PM »
"I could, but I'm not."

PastryGoddess

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2012, 10:25:57 PM »
"why would I want to do that?"

m2kbug

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2012, 10:40:22 PM »
This person just gifted away something that wasn't even hers?  All I can think is I hope she was joking, even if it was a bad joke, and I hope Amanda understands that this offer is horse puckey.  I would probably just say I already gave the kindle away to my brother/sister/aunt/nephew/gramma, sorry, but if your rel-a-tion-ship is such, you could tell her she can't be gifting away other people's things, especially in her position as boss, where people fear they might suffer ramifications for not complying, which sounds like is happening right now, but I might be drawing conclusions.

snowdragon

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2012, 10:46:04 PM »
Amanda was not there. And I am not in fear of anything - I just wanted a better way to handle it. This Prof has a good heart but is very single minded - if she thinks it should be so - it should be so, gosh darn it!  but she does not fire folks or deduct grades for non compliance.
  My reason for asking is more for me, if that makes sense

Sophia

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2012, 10:54:33 PM »
Laughter works as a default response to outrageous requests.  It is a response and they are allowed the face-saving attitude of "Y-e-a-h..., that was a joke."

Bijou

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2012, 11:56:46 PM »
I think sputtering through your drink and words was a good response as long as you didn't really choke or spill on your clothing.
I'm glad you didn't fold and give away something you really didn't intend to gift to someone.  I would have suggested that perhaps the Professor would like to buy one for Amanda as a Christmas gift and token of appreciation.
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CrochetFanatic

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2012, 12:06:39 AM »
You could say, not in an unpleasant tone, "No, I've got other plans for it."  And then change the subject before she (or whoever you're talking to) can answer.

m2kbug

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2012, 12:26:37 AM »
Amanda was not there. And I am not in fear of anything - I just wanted a better way to handle it. This Prof has a good heart but is very single minded - if she thinks it should be so - it should be so, gosh darn it!  but she does not fire folks or deduct grades for non compliance.
  My reason for asking is more for me, if that makes sense

I'm glad to hear this situation isn't like I thought it sounded.  It still sounds like people still feel rather coerced, and I think I would probably say I already promised this to my brother or my niece, in order to get out of this Amanda obligation that was forced upon me, even if I planned on keeping the old Kindle or didn't know what my plans were for the thing at the moment. 

QuiltLady

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2012, 03:29:28 AM »
What a coincidence!  I just had this happen, not quite in the same way.  I have a Kindle Fire, the original one, and I am considering getting the new one that has it's own internet connection (doesn't need a hot spot or wireless, more like a phone).  My son texted me before Christmas asking if I got the new Kindle yet?  I said no, maybe when I get my bonus in January.  Then a few days later my daughter asked me the same question.

Now that had me wondering what was going on.  Since I had given my daughter a Kindle Fire last Christmas, actually both daughters and my son's fiance, the only reason I could think of that they would be asking that is if they were considering getting it for me for Christmas.  I didn't want them to get that but, how was I going to nip that in the bud when it was an assumption, and presumptious, on my part?

I finally asked my daughter why they both asked me that?  She said that they were thinking of getting their niece, my granddaughter, a Kindle and wanted to know if I had got a new one and was going to give the old one to granddaughter.  Ha!  That was a relief and I told her yes, I probably would be giving it to her since everyone else already had one.

Ceallach

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2012, 05:00:15 AM »
I always treat those situations like a bit of a joke, I find that avoids any tension or awkwardness.  The other person usually gets the hint pretty quickly from that. 

Because really, trying to give away somebody else's possessions is kind of ridiculous - they must be joking, right?   ;)
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KenveeB

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2012, 09:03:29 AM »
I just say "Oh, I've already got plans for the old one." Just leave it at that. You don't owe an explanation of what those plans are, even if it's to keep it for yourself!