Author Topic: "You can give So and SO your old one!"  (Read 11787 times)

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Annoyed in America

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #30 on: January 01, 2013, 08:48:21 PM »
Ditto this!  LOL...Just look at them with a half smile and say it has already been promised.  Say "If you don't want yours you might consider donating it."

Venus193

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #31 on: January 01, 2013, 10:19:53 PM »
Many years ago, my dh made the mistake of saying in passing to his parents that we had successfully saved up a certain amount of money to put towards a downpayment for a house. My MIL then called us back and demanded we give that money to his sister so that she could buy a new car. Note that this sister owned two cars and a motorcycle, so it wasn't as if she was bereft of transportation. She just wanted a new car to add to her fleet and MIL believed we should just hand over our money so she could have it. MIL was quite miffed when we refused.

That was the last time my dh told his parents anything money related.

My X's sister took this idea to a ridiculous extreme. I was back for a family visit and was at the X's house (formerly mine as well). X-SIL came for a visit, along with her 3 grandkids. Her DD, the kids' mom, and the kids, all live with X-SIL in a small house. (Interesting side note: she intentionally bought her tiny place with the idea that DD wouldn't follow her there. Surprise! She did, with 3 kids in tow)

So X-SIL's idea was to swap houses. Yes, trade houses! In her mind, why did my X-DH and younger DS need that bigger house? She was serious, too.  :o

Some people's sense of entitlement truly boggles the mind.

In 2006 I bought the entire Dark Shadows TV series on DVD at the convention at what finally amounted to a 65% discount.  My friend Blanche knew that I had the VHS's and she said "You can just send those to me."

Those had cost multiple thousands back in the day.  I finally told her she could have them if she would pay the postage for them.  She agreed.  I sent them in batches of 20 (there were 200 tapes) and one got lost.  To this day I never got the postage for them because she "couldn't remember" agreeing to it.

An expensive lesson learned, but not as bad as some of these stories.

bopper

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #32 on: January 02, 2013, 11:40:54 AM »
I just say "Oh, I've already got plans for the old one." Just leave it at that. You don't owe an explanation of what those plans are, even if it's to keep it for yourself!

Exactly!

Winter

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #33 on: January 02, 2013, 12:19:22 PM »
Many years ago, my dh made the mistake of saying in passing to his parents that we had successfully saved up a certain amount of money to put towards a downpayment for a house. My MIL then called us back and demanded we give that money to his sister so that she could buy a new car. Note that this sister owned two cars and a motorcycle, so it wasn't as if she was bereft of transportation. She just wanted a new car to add to her fleet and MIL believed we should just hand over our money so she could have it. MIL was quite miffed when we refused.

That was the last time my dh told his parents anything money related.

My X's sister took this idea to a ridiculous extreme. I was back for a family visit and was at the X's house (formerly mine as well). X-SIL came for a visit, along with her 3 grandkids. Her DD, the kids' mom, and the kids, all live with X-SIL in a small house. (Interesting side note: she intentionally bought her tiny place with the idea that DD wouldn't follow her there. Surprise! She did, with 3 kids in tow)

So X-SIL's idea was to swap houses. Yes, trade houses! In her mind, why did my X-DH and younger DS need that bigger house? She was serious, too.  :o

Some people's sense of entitlement truly boggles the mind.

In 2006 I bought the entire Dark Shadows TV series on DVD at the convention at what finally amounted to a 65% discount.  My friend Blanche knew that I had the VHS's and she said "You can just send those to me."

Those had cost multiple thousands back in the day.  I finally told her she could have them if she would pay the postage for them.  She agreed.  I sent them in batches of 20 (there were 200 tapes) and one got lost.  To this day I never got the postage for them because she "couldn't remember" agreeing to it.

An expensive lesson learned, but not as bad as some of these stories.

Wow - I thought I had a good one, but the house-swapping takes the cake. Here it is anyway though: BIL was planning a large, pricey wedding. So pricey he decided the car would go to help pay for it (OK, better that then debt). So his parents (whom he lived with) suggested we should give him our car - the only one we had, btw - so he could still have one. And we would presumably...walk? Pay thousands for a new car for ourselves? *headshake* Shut that one down pretty quickly.

singingserpent

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #34 on: January 02, 2013, 09:50:35 PM »
Add me to the "give them your old car" list.
My mother's husband wrecked his car so I was guilted by her into giving him my beloved 88 S-10 Blazer when I got a new Subaru. I kept that Blazer in such good shape and it looked pretty good for a 10-year old SUV. Yeah, he didn't bother with maintenance or even washing the poor thing so it gradually fell apart.
15 years later, another car of his is suffering from his poor care, so my mother wants me to give him the car that my husband & I keep for our winter "beater".  It's the 15 year old Subaru wagon that replaced the Blazer.  This car looks terrible and doesn't have air conditioning anymore, but boy with new winter tires it is great in snow and the heater still works!  So no, he is not getting another car for free from us.

Itza

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #35 on: January 04, 2013, 03:03:30 AM »
My MIL is like that. If you get anything new, she thinks you should give the old one to her.

Ugh, this sounds like my mother.

Every time I got a new mobile phone she’d ask me what I was doing with my old one, so I instantly felt obligated to give her my old one. But then came the stress of having to sit with her to show her how to use it and her asking me how to do stuff on it for weeks on end afterwards... all because she refused to read the instructions!

I actually preferred to keep my last mobile just in case something went wrong with my new one.

Also, if I bought something and it came with a ‘free gift’, she’d want the free gift! I bought an electric toothbrush which came with a free portable CD player. I never had one of them before, at the time I still had my old Walkman but Mum got in there with, “I’ll have that!” which I stupidly handed over! I ended up buying one later.

When Kindle first came out in the US, I was gutted it didn’t come out in the UK. Instead I bought a Sony PRS-505 which was lovely but my heart was on a Kindle. Finally, I got a Kindle 3 when Kindles became available in the UK and Mum instantly asked me what I was doing with my Sony. I didn’t want to actually part with that so I explained that I’ve still got many books to read on there which I can’t simply transfer to the Kindle due to differing file formats.

For me, I was stalling what I thought would be the inevitable. At the same time, I was dreading the stress of having to show her how to use it and knowing for a fact she wouldn’t read the instructions and wouldn’t like the method of putting the books on the Sony (via cable to pc) and having to use the associated software, etc. It would drive me potty!

It turns out I kept my Sony and I won’t be parting with it any time soon, all thanks to PDF! I’ve noticed that the Sony re-flows the PDF brilliantly whereas the downside of the Kindle is that it just zooms in on a segment of the PDF and you have to D-pad your way around it which means it’s not easy reading.




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Raintree

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #36 on: January 04, 2013, 03:19:07 AM »
Many years ago, my dh made the mistake of saying in passing to his parents that we had successfully saved up a certain amount of money to put towards a downpayment for a house. My MIL then called us back and demanded we give that money to his sister so that she could buy a new car. Note that this sister owned two cars and a motorcycle, so it wasn't as if she was bereft of transportation. She just wanted a new car to add to her fleet and MIL believed we should just hand over our money so she could have it. MIL was quite miffed when we refused.

That was the last time my dh told his parents anything money related.

I learned at age 19 not to tell my mother anything money related. After scrimping and saving from my really awful minimum wage job, I told her I'd nearly saved up enough for my first-ever trip overseas (or anywhere, in my life, for that matter). Personally, I'd encourage a young person to see another part of the world while they still can. Instead I got a guilt trip about how SHE works so hard and doesn't have that luxury (um, she travelled around the world many times over at that age, far more than I ever have or will). Or if I ever told her I had no money, she would raise an eyebrow at every little purchase and get overly invested in my affairs. So I definitely learned never to reveal whether I had money in the bank or not.

Thankfully, nobody's ever offered anything of mine to another on my behalf. I'd be dumbfounded.

Danika

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #37 on: January 04, 2013, 03:35:45 AM »
Every time I got a new mobile phone she’d ask me what I was doing with my old one, so I instantly felt obligated to give her my old one. But then came the stress of having to sit with her to show her how to use it and her asking me how to do stuff on it for weeks on end afterwards... all because she refused to read the instructions!

I think that from now on, whenever you get something new for yourself, the official story will be because it's replacing one that broke. Your response to your mother should always be "oh, the old one is broken beyond repair."

But for the OP, I agree with the PPs who say that your answer should always be "No. I already have plans for the other one." Bonus points if you can work in an offended look that indicates that they're way out of line.

Slartibartfast

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #38 on: January 04, 2013, 03:52:49 AM »
We were supposed to be involved in one of these car chains a few years back - when DH's grandmother got a new car, she'd give her old (~5 year old) car to MIL, who would give her old (~12 year old) car to DH, who would give his old (16 year old) car to SIL1 who had wrecked hers and couldn't buy another.  Sounded fine to us, even if MIL's car wasn't our first choice, because DH's car was getting more and more unreliable.  But Grandma kept saying she was going to buy a new car and kept not doing it, and we got sick of being a one-car family (mine, because DH's was usually not running), so we ended up getting one we actually wanted for DH.  MIL then walked into the dealership to get an oil change and walked out with a new car - some of it was because that's how she is, but I think some was because she didn't want to wait around for her MIL's car either.  SIL1 has acquired - and wrecked - two more beaters in the few years since then, and Grandma still hasn't gotten another car.

The 16-year-old monstrosity with the carpeted dash and the rusting roof sold for $150, which we immediately turned around and spent on a bigger memory card for DH's computer.  I have always said I much prefer a guy who needs a top-of-the-line computer and drives a crappy car than the other way around - it's much cheaper!

laud_shy_girl

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #39 on: January 04, 2013, 05:41:55 AM »
I have no problem with some one asking what I am doing with my old XYZ, as some times I would like to re home it, but to just assume drive me nuts.

My first ever car 'little blue' (Nissan Micra in blue) was really old but I loved that car. DH and I were moving abroad for a year and I had planed to store her until we got back. Unfortunately, on her last MOT, she failed on body work and it would have cost us upward of £600 to fix her and we only paid £300 for her 2 years before that, when we bought her. 

So she went to the big parking Garage in the sky.  :'(

Cue Uncle toxic (UT), who told me I was a stuck up who har at my wedding and never so much as acknowledges me.

phone rings...
UT- Hi Bab (I hate being called that) you leave soon so what are you doing with your car.
Me- we had to scrap her, she failed her MOT
UT- what was wrong (he is a mechanic, but can't weld)
Me- she needed body work to the tune of xxx
UT- OK never mind, bye.

 :o >:(

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VorFemme

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #40 on: January 04, 2013, 11:36:34 AM »
I have run into a few people who said "oh, I had to trade in the old one to be able to afford the new one" - that is kind of expected on vehicles, but isn't always an option on cell phones.  I did trade in my old Sony PRS-300 toward a new PRS-T1 in November 2011 - but that was apparently a rare offer for electronics!

We did sell a used car to VorGuy's little sister (over thirty years ago) - but being a nice big brother, her birthday and Christmas presents that year were the monthly receipts marked paid and her uncashed check returned (so she could void it herself).

I can't remember anyone that we got asked to GIVE a car...
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Twik

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #41 on: January 04, 2013, 12:34:04 PM »
Or you could say, "Oh I'm selling it on Craigslist for $XXX but if she wants to buy it, I'll hold it for her."

First thing that would come to my mind though would be to say I had plans for it.

In the OP's case, I might add, "Or if YOU want to buy it for her." Because it might remind her that if she wouldn't want to pay that much, why should you be deprived of the money by giving it as a gift?
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GrammarNerd

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #42 on: January 04, 2013, 12:56:59 PM »
Many years ago, my dh made the mistake of saying in passing to his parents that we had successfully saved up a certain amount of money to put towards a downpayment for a house. My MIL then called us back and demanded we give that money to his sister so that she could buy a new car. Note that this sister owned two cars and a motorcycle, so it wasn't as if she was bereft of transportation. She just wanted a new car to add to her fleet and MIL believed we should just hand over our money so she could have it. MIL was quite miffed when we refused.

That was the last time my dh told his parents anything money related.
Yeah, entitled ILs and the golden child....

When DH and I were engaged and about 4 months away from our wedding (with all of the associated expenses; this will come into play later), his sister had already been married for a couple of years.  I'd already kind of gleaned that SIL could do no wrong in their eyes, and that she'd trained her parents that everyone should bend over backward for her if she wanted them to.  SIL and her DH were living in a house that my ILs had been using for a rental, and were supposedly buying it (yeah, that never materialized).  So we were driving around in the country with the ILs one weekend b/c (for some reason) they wanted to show us some land (acreage) that SIL was looking at, so they could build a house.  But gee, poor SIL couldn't afford all of the land, and the seller wasn't willing to split the parcel.  So the ILs actually had the gall to suggest that DH buy the land to use as hunting land, and then SIL could build her house there!  (They all lived a couple of hours away, so this was not a feasible plot of land for US to build a house on).  Mind you, WE needed to buy our OWN house, and were also paying for a not-small wedding at the time, yet we should use our money to instead buy land that we could rarely use just so SIL could have her house?  Right.  Sure.  I'll get right on that.  Let me write you out a check.  :o

Venus193

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #43 on: January 04, 2013, 03:48:27 PM »
Stories like these are the reason a friend of mine says that if she ever won the lottery she would change her name and disappear.

LadyClaire

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Re: "You can give So and SO your old one!"
« Reply #44 on: January 04, 2013, 10:32:13 PM »
Stories like these are the reason a friend of mine says that if she ever won the lottery she would change her name and disappear.

Seriously. I cannot imagine the entitlement that would spout forth from my in-laws if we ever won the lottery. Oh, and I'm sure my dad's side of the family would come crawling out of the woodwork as well.