Author Topic: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.  (Read 4071 times)

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MOM21SON

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I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« on: December 30, 2012, 03:34:27 PM »
Awhile ago, six months or so, I gave my ex friend a pair of skates to sell.  He is in the business so there was no going out of his way.  Several people were interested but for whatever reason they did not buy them.

So this am I woke up to a facebook message that  said:

I hope you had a good Christmas.  I have a lady that wants to buy the skates. Her name is  Ethel and her phone number is 555-555-5555.  Happy New year.

So when I got to work I messaged him back and said, "That great, since you have the skates can you just sell them to her?"

Now that I have more time to think about it, should I go get the skates and call the lady myself?  I really don't understand his message, I have even told him more than once that I don't care what he does with them.

I really don't want to make him do something, but things are so far gone, I truly don't care about the skates or seeing him.

What is my responsibility?

Scuba_Dog

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2012, 04:00:46 PM »
If you don't care about him or the skates - then I'd just message back that he was welcome to sell them to her and take the proceeds to pay for his services.  (He listed the skates for sale, I'm assuming.) 


"If you are going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill

magician5

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2012, 04:01:21 PM »
The implication of his message is that you should call her. It's just a phone call ... so step up.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

MOM21SON

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2012, 04:16:53 PM »
The implication of his message is that you should call her. It's just a phone call ... so step up.

But what do I say?  "yes, you can buy the skates from him?" 

I don't have them.  I assume its a customer of his. 

redcat

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2012, 04:28:25 PM »
So, he is in physical possession of the skates, and he'll keep the money?  Then their sale is no longer anything to do with you, and you should ask him why he's bothering you about them.

MOM21SON

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2012, 04:34:10 PM »
So, he is in physical possession of the skates, and he'll keep the money?  Then their sale is no longer anything to do with you, and you should ask him why he's bothering you about them.

Right.  They were skates given to me to do as I pleased.  I no longer have anything to do with the sport or him.

My DS has changed to a different skating sport and I have no reason or need for those or him.

Does anyone think its possible that it was a lame attempt to make things right?  Thats the way my DH is thinking.

Yankeegal77

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2012, 04:40:20 PM »
Editing my whole post because we posted at the same time.

Yep, I think this is a lame excuse to reach out.

If the skates were not sold and you really don't care about the money, make that clear as well so he has no excuse to reach out. I don't know the history, but if this sounds like a PA attempt to re-engage with you, just tell him to keep any proceeds and not contact you further about it.

:)
« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 04:43:01 PM by Yankeegal77 »

Queen of Clubs

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2012, 04:47:13 PM »
I don't think you have any responsibility at all.  He's the seller, he has the skates, he has a customer.  Maybe he is trying to get you to re-engage with him, but if you don't want to, I think you're in the clear.  If he gets in touch again, maybe tell him to sell the skates if he wants to, but you don't want to hear from him again (if that's how you feel).

m2kbug

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2012, 04:49:51 PM »
He has physical possession of the skates, he needs to be the one selling them.  I'd hate to maneuver this sale and then find out he sold the skates to someone else.   

Edit to add, if this is going to be a continuous problem, aside from just saying don't call me again, it might be easier if you could have a friend pick up the skates or accompany you to pick up the skates and remove this method of contact. 

I wouldn't sell the skates if I didn't have them in my possession.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 04:57:32 PM by m2kbug »

oceanus

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2012, 04:58:57 PM »
Donít call the woman.  You gave him the skates to sell.  At that time you were friends.  Things changed.

You say youíre no longer interested in the skates, the money,. or his friendship.  If youíre sure about all that:

Send him a message:
ďIím not going to call the woman.  You can sell the skates and keep the money.  I donít want any further involvement.  Take care.Ē

The end.  :)

MOM21SON

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2012, 05:07:28 PM »
There has been way too many hurt feelings over this friendship breakup, mine.  It seems like everytime I "heal" he appears. 

Basically he chose another volunteer over me and let that person walk all over me.  I finally had enough and confronted him and he chose her side because they had been friends longer.  I posted about it at the time.  I had done everything for him and his team for years.  Thankfully my son decided to switch sports around the same time.

Shoo

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2012, 05:12:15 PM »
Just reply to his message and say, "The skates are yours.  Do whatever you want with them."

Scuba_Dog

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2012, 05:19:01 PM »
So, he is in physical possession of the skates, and he'll keep the money?  Then their sale is no longer anything to do with you, and you should ask him why he's bothering you about them.

Right.  They were skates given to me to do as I pleased.  I no longer have anything to do with the sport or him.

My DS has changed to a different skating sport and I have no reason or need for those or him.

Does anyone think its possible that it was a lame attempt to make things right?  Thats the way my DH is thinking.

No.  If he wanted that he would have told you to call him - not her.

He's just trying to tie up the loose ends of the former friendship.  Just tell him to do with them what he wants and move on.
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill

oceanus

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2012, 05:21:42 PM »
There has been way too many hurt feelings over this friendship breakup, mine.  It seems like everytime I "heal" he appears. 

Basically he chose another volunteer over me and let that person walk all over me.  I finally had enough and confronted him and he chose her side because they had been friends longer.  I posted about it at the time.  I had done everything for him and his team for years.  Thankfully my son decided to switch sports around the same time.

The history and details of the problems with the friendship aren't relevant to the sale of the skates.  The frienship is over. Try to stop analyzing and churning things over in your mind.  He simply wants to tie up a loose end.  (If I was him I would have sent the skates back to you a long time ago - mail, courier, whatever.  But he didn't.)  So...............

Send the message suggested by Shoo or myself and be done with it.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 05:25:40 PM by oceanus »

MOM21SON

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Re: I might be confused, but I am not sure if I need to step up.
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2012, 05:33:03 PM »
I haven't hit send yet. 

You can do whatever you want with the skates. Sell them and keep the money or donate them, whatever you want to do. 

Is that good?

Edited to add, I really can't tell him to NEVER contact me again.  DS still has his new sport at that facility.  When I take DS now, if I go in, I sit at the other side of the building far away from where he is.  And I am not cutting ties with the other owner that is in charge of DS's new sport.

« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 05:40:42 PM by MOM21SON »