Another vacation etiquette question

[pickles50]

I recently met a friend for a quick pre-Christmas vacation in Paris. I love photography and pride myself on taking pretty nice pictures. Because I vowed to not buy souvenirs at the places I visit I have compromised with myself and bought some pricey camera equipment and just enjoy having the beautiful pictures as memories of my travels. Ok, that being said, I lugged around heavy and expensive camera equipment all over Paris and got some really amazing pictures that I can't wait to blow up and frame. My travel buddy just brought his iPhone to take pictures. So the night before our departure my travel buddy hands me his ipad and says to me to "go ahead and upload all your pictures to my ipad". I'm a bit miffed by this as they are my pictures. So I take his ipad and upload the pictures of him (and only him) and hand it back. He whines that he was "all 650 of my pictures" which I politely decline and then bean dip, this scenario gets repeated several times over the course of the night (him asking, me bean dipping). Don't get me wrong...my pictures aren't National Geographic quality but they are mine. So hind sight 20/20 was I rude and petty? Should I have just uploaded my pictures and not made a big deal of it? I feel bad now I think I should just make him a photo-book so he has the pictures but not the digital copies. Feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

[MOM21SON]

Which do you cherish more?  The holiday with your friend or the photos?

[Barb3000]

He took the pictures he wanted with his Iphone - you took the pictures you wanted with your camera. Unless you had some agreement that you were taking pics for both of you, he should offer you some compensation (not necessarily monetary) for your work and the expense of your equipment.

[Venus193]

No, you were not rude.  You have the right to refuse such a request.  How would you know that he wouldn't share those photos claiming they were his?

The ease of photography and sharing pictures has opened up so many issues that it makes me wish yet again that someone had thought about the etiquette of this while the equipment was being developed.

[Deetee]

I would find it a bit odd to not share all the photos(assumming nothing personal was on them). I don't see what is gained by not sharing them and personally I don't find pictures of myself that interesting.

 I will take less photos if travelling with someone taking photos and just figure  we will share.

Would you be OK with sharing if you watermarked with your name first? Some of my more serious photography friends do that as a matter of course.

[JenJay]

I don't think you're rude or petty! It sounds like you're pretty serious about photography so I can appreciate why you wouldn't want to hand out your photos for free. Actually, even if you weren't serious about it I wouldn't think you were rude or petty  .

My Dad is a hobby photographer and he uploaded a bunch of photos onto my computer after their last visit. Some of his shots were great (we went to DC, several plantations, etc. He had some great stuff!) and I teased him that if he didn't upload them to facebook I would because they needed to be shown off. He actually told me to go ahead (he's on FB about once every 6 months) but I still didn't. The ones I did upload, of my kids or family shots, I made sure to credit to him.

The photo book sounds like a nice compromise if you want to do that. He'll have some great photos of your trip and you'd retain the originals (and the sole rights to use them!).

[TurtleDove]

I have a difficult time understanding your motivation.

[PastryGoddess]

I'm also an amateur photographer and while I don't mind sharing my photos, I do expect to be asked rather than told what to do with them. It doesn't matter if you are traveling with someone.  Those pictures are the property of the person who took them, not the group/couple as a whole.  *I also think it's interesting that friend didn't offer to share his photos but certainly expected OP to share hers (of presumably better quality).


If your friend wants a picture album he can pay for one himself.  I use Photobucket which is nice because you can turn off sharing of the pictures.  So people can't download the full size picture or right click to download either

*This is my assumption of the situation*

[peaches]

Demanding photos that someone else has taken is presumptuous IMO. I can't imagine doing that.

Unless OP was the designated photographer for the trip, and it was agreed ahead of time that photos would be shared, OP is under no obligation to share them.

[gollymolly2]

I have a difficult time understanding your motivation.

I agree, unless you plan to sell them or think he might do so.

[Firecat]

I have a difficult time understanding your motivation.

I don't. The OP spent considerable time, effort, and cash to get good shots. The friend could have done the same, or discussed sharing the OP's pics up front. Instead, the friend just assumed that it was ok to "piggyback" on the OP's work, which shows any or all of the following: a certain laziness on the friend's part, a lack of respect for the OP's work, and perhaps a lack of appreciation for the time and skill involved in good photography. I'd be a lot less hard on the friend if the friend had asked the OP up front if it was ok to share pictures, and offered some type of compensation or incentive to the OP. Or just asked for copies of the pictures that included him or maybe one or two particular locations or events. So I don't thinke the OP was at all wrong for being upset.

Edited to add that I think this would have been the perfect time for: "I'm afraid that won't be possible" with the optional addition of "I'm happy to share pictures of X and/or Y."

[Joeschmo]

I can't tell for sure from your op but did you ever directly tell him no?

[Surianne]

Hmm, on trips where I've travelled with a friend I've always assumed we would share each other's photos.  However, I'm also usually the "lesser" photographer -- my camera isn't expensive, and I will forget to take photos of something exciting if I'm too busy watching it instead.

So I guess I've never thought of it from the standpoint of the photographer who doesn't want to share with the person who isn't as good at photography.  Normally if I travel with someone, I'm the person who is good at reading maps, good at doing math in my head to convert currency, etc.  So I see that as my "contribution" and assume that the vacation turns out vaguely equal.  OP, did your friend contribute anything that was helpful to you, at all, during the trip?

I'm also a writer, and if I write anything about my trips I would be happy to share it even if my friend didn't.  I wouldn't automatically assume that she would steal my writing and credit it as hers.  That seems like such an unfriendly thing to do.

I'm not really understanding the motivation either but now I wonder if I've pissed off my photographer friends in the past.

[Deetee]

I have a difficult time understanding your motivation.

I don't. The OP spent considerable time, effort, and cash to get good shots. The friend could have done the same, or discussed sharing the OP's pics up front. Instead, the friend just assumed that it was ok to "piggyback" on the OP's work, which shows any or all of the following: a certain laziness on the friend's part, a lack of respect for the OP's work, and perhaps a lack of appreciation for the time and skill involved in good photography. I'd be a lot less hard on the friend if the friend had asked the OP up front if it was ok to share pictures, and offered some type of compensation or incentive to the OP. Or just asked for copies of the pictures that included him or maybe one or two particular locations or events. So I don't thinke the OP was at all wrong for being upset.

For me, the whole point of taking pictures is to share the memories with people  so the more people want to see my photos the better. Most people I know operate that way (though, as I mentioned some people do add watermarks to their photos so it is clear whose they are). I see no reason to ascribe unpleasant motives to someone for wanting copies of photos.

[JacklynHyde]

Asking politely in advance with the understanding that the answer may be "no" is one thing.  This traveling companion expected it to be a done deal that he WOULD take possession of the photos.  Not proper.