Author Topic: Another vacation etiquette question  (Read 18589 times)

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miranova

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #225 on: January 03, 2013, 03:12:46 PM »
"I'm sorry, I don't share my pictures. But for you, as a friend, I'll give you the pictures that you are in."


Did the OP ever actually say this?  If she did, I think that's probably sufficient.  From my understanding, she never even clearly said no, she just avoided the question.  Which is definitely rude, in my opinion.  I think refusing to give a direct answer to a reasonable question by someone you consider to be a friend is rude.  Just answer the question politely.

According to her fist post, pickles50 actually gave him the photographs of him.

And, she did give him a direct answer when she "politely declined" to give him all 650 photographs.

Also according to her fist post, she's planning to make him a photo-album.

I went back and read.  I do see the phrase "politely declined" but in reading the entire post it still comes across as she was not really being clear.  Especially when she took the ipod and appeared to be giving the photos and only when she gave it back did he realize that only the photos of him were there.  Isn't it more efficient and polite to say upfront "I'd rather not give you everything before I go through them.  I want to go through everything first.  I'll give you (insert whatever you are willing to do here, be it photo book, photos of him, etc) when I get a chance".  Instead it kind of reads like a bait and switch.  She was annoyed, but to avoid saying no or having a difficult conversation, took the ipad and did some stuff and gave it back and let him go through it to see that it was only the photos of himself.  If that's what you are willing to do, why not just say that upfront?  I think the OP is the one who made this drag out by not being more honest and upfront when the request/demand (whatever it was) was initially made.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #226 on: January 03, 2013, 03:26:32 PM »
"I'm sorry, I don't share my pictures. But for you, as a friend, I'll give you the pictures that you are in."


Did the OP ever actually say this?  If she did, I think that's probably sufficient.  From my understanding, she never even clearly said no, she just avoided the question.  Which is definitely rude, in my opinion.  I think refusing to give a direct answer to a reasonable question by someone you consider to be a friend is rude.  Just answer the question politely.

According to her fist post, pickles50 actually gave him the photographs of him.

And, she did give him a direct answer when she "politely declined" to give him all 650 photographs.

Also according to her fist post, she's planning to make him a photo-album.

I went back and read.  I do see the phrase "politely declined" but in reading the entire post it still comes across as she was not really being clear.  Especially when she took the ipod and appeared to be giving the photos and only when she gave it back did he realize that only the photos of him were there.  Isn't it more efficient and polite to say upfront "I'd rather not give you everything before I go through them.  I want to go through everything first.  I'll give you (insert whatever you are willing to do here, be it photo book, photos of him, etc) when I get a chance".  Instead it kind of reads like a bait and switch.  She was annoyed, but to avoid saying no or having a difficult conversation, took the ipad and did some stuff and gave it back and let him go through it to see that it was only the photos of himself.  If that's what you are willing to do, why not just say that upfront?  I think the OP is the one who made this drag out by not being more honest and upfront when the request/demand (whatever it was) was initially made.

I believe pickles50 more than adequately explained why she doesn't engage in such discussions so I'll let her words speak for themselves.

TurtleDove

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #227 on: January 03, 2013, 03:49:43 PM »
I believe pickles50 more than adequately explained why she doesn't engage in such discussions so I'll let her words speak for themselves.

I cannot imagine being friends with someone with whom I would want to go on vacation but I would not trust to not be a jerk if I explained why I did not want to share my photos with him.  I think that's why I am having such a hard time understanding the OP's motives, and the harsh villainization of the friend by some posters.  If he's a friend, I think the OP was wrong to not just talk to him about it and explain so he didn't have the "huh?" feeling a lot of us got from the OP.  If he's not a friend, why did the OP go on vacation with him?  It seems like if he is a friend, it shouldn't have been and issue, and if he is not a friend, it wouldn't be an issue.  I just don't get it.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #228 on: January 03, 2013, 03:54:57 PM »
I believe pickles50 more than adequately explained why she doesn't engage in such discussions so I'll let her words speak for themselves.

I cannot imagine being friends with someone with whom I would want to go on vacation but I would not trust to not be a jerk if I explained why I did not want to share my photos with him.  I think that's why I am having such a hard time understanding the OP's motives, and the harsh villainization of the friend by some posters.  If he's a friend, I think the OP was wrong to not just talk to him about it and explain so he didn't have the "huh?" feeling a lot of us got from the OP.  If he's not a friend, why did the OP go on vacation with him?  It seems like if he is a friend, it shouldn't have been and issue, and if he is not a friend, it wouldn't be an issue.  I just don't get it.

The first four posts explain why she doesn't share her digital photographs as well as why she does not go into explaining why ahead of time.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=18061

TurtleDove

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #229 on: January 03, 2013, 04:14:55 PM »

The first four posts explain why she doesn't share her digital photographs as well as why she does not go into explaining why ahead of time.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=18061

And again, I don't understand why the OP would be friends with someone to whom she could not simply explain what she posted here.  It isn't that I think she is wrong for not sharing the photos (I disagree, but reasonable minds can disagree), it is that I do not understand why the bean dipping toward a confused friend who personally had not harmed the OP.  It seems like the OP was expecting her friend to read her mind about why she wasn't sharing the photos and from we've been told here, he know way of knowing why she said she would not share the photos. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #230 on: January 03, 2013, 08:34:34 PM »
I think this discussion has reached its limit. Some understand the OP and her decisions/reasioning and some don't.

bloo

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Re: Another vacation etiquette question
« Reply #231 on: January 03, 2013, 09:14:31 PM »
I think this discussion has reached its limit. Some understand the OP and her decisions/reasioning and some don't.

Agreed. It's been fruitful and enlightening but that's a pretty good, succinct analysis.