General Etiquette > Life...in general

s/o where does the responsibility lie - gifts I cannot consume

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Sophia:

--- Quote from: Girly on January 04, 2013, 06:22:33 PM ---...Any time I am gifted a bottle of wine, I simply say 'thank you' and gift it to one of my many drinking girlfriends. They all seem to appreciate the unexpected gifts with enthusiasm...
--- End quote ---

Over Thanksgiving weekend I led a Champagne/Sparkling wine taste.  Afterward one of the tables discussed the bottles of wine they had been gifted/offered as trade by non-wine drinkers.  It was amazing.  One friend had agreed to purchase at duty-free a bottle dreadful and cheap whiskey his friend loved in exchange for "a bottle of wine."  My friend figured he might be the financial loser, but it was a good friend of his, and he'd appreciate the wine regardless.  Turned out to be a very good year from The name in Burgundy. 

HonorH:
At Christmas, my new boss gave gift bags to everyone. As she'd just been to California, all the gift bags contained bottles of California wine. My merlot will eventually find a place in beef stew, as no one in my family drinks red wine.

Gyburc:
OP, I was struck by the fact that you felt too uncomfortable to tell your second (less close) friend that you can't drink red wine.

I think you could let them know - at an opportune moment, just mention that you 'have discovered' that red wine is a migraine trigger. You don't need to say when you discovered this. I think it would be a good way of letting your friend know for future reference, while at the same time avoiding the issue of the bottle they gave you.

Regarding the re-gifting issue, I don't see this as a problem!

Stirling:
When I have encountered these situations, the proper response is "thank you" and then accept the gift in the spirit that it was intended.  I then consider myself the steward of the gift until the true giftee enters my life.  I then pass the gift along to that person.  (By "true giftee" I mean a person that will truly appreciate and enjoy the gift. the re-gifting doesn't have to be for a specific occasion.) 

mandycorn:

--- Quote from: JeseC on January 26, 2013, 03:12:29 PM ---What do you do with gifts you actually can't take?  I'm one of those people who is terribly sensitive to perfume - to the point where I cannot be in the same room with certain items for very long.  I don't want to throw the item in a far away trash can and hope the giver won't notice, but taking it home is just not happening!

--- End quote ---

I think once you've gracefully accepted it and thanked the giver, you do what you need to do to make sure you don't suffer. If that means pulling aside a discrete friend and having them take it home or just abandoning it in the dumpster on your way out, that's what you have to do.

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