General Etiquette > general

s/o where does the responsibility lie - gifts I cannot consume

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--- Quote from: Girly on January 04, 2013, 05:22:33 PM ---...Any time I am gifted a bottle of wine, I simply say 'thank you' and gift it to one of my many drinking girlfriends. They all seem to appreciate the unexpected gifts with enthusiasm...
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Over Thanksgiving weekend I led a Champagne/Sparkling wine taste.  Afterward one of the tables discussed the bottles of wine they had been gifted/offered as trade by non-wine drinkers.  It was amazing.  One friend had agreed to purchase at duty-free a bottle dreadful and cheap whiskey his friend loved in exchange for "a bottle of wine."  My friend figured he might be the financial loser, but it was a good friend of his, and he'd appreciate the wine regardless.  Turned out to be a very good year from The name in Burgundy. 

At Christmas, my new boss gave gift bags to everyone. As she'd just been to California, all the gift bags contained bottles of California wine. My merlot will eventually find a place in beef stew, as no one in my family drinks red wine.

OP, I was struck by the fact that you felt too uncomfortable to tell your second (less close) friend that you can't drink red wine.

I think you could let them know - at an opportune moment, just mention that you 'have discovered' that red wine is a migraine trigger. You don't need to say when you discovered this. I think it would be a good way of letting your friend know for future reference, while at the same time avoiding the issue of the bottle they gave you.

Regarding the re-gifting issue, I don't see this as a problem!

When I have encountered these situations, the proper response is "thank you" and then accept the gift in the spirit that it was intended.  I then consider myself the steward of the gift until the true giftee enters my life.  I then pass the gift along to that person.  (By "true giftee" I mean a person that will truly appreciate and enjoy the gift. the re-gifting doesn't have to be for a specific occasion.) 


--- Quote from: JeseC on January 26, 2013, 02:12:29 PM ---What do you do with gifts you actually can't take?  I'm one of those people who is terribly sensitive to perfume - to the point where I cannot be in the same room with certain items for very long.  I don't want to throw the item in a far away trash can and hope the giver won't notice, but taking it home is just not happening!

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I think once you've gracefully accepted it and thanked the giver, you do what you need to do to make sure you don't suffer. If that means pulling aside a discrete friend and having them take it home or just abandoning it in the dumpster on your way out, that's what you have to do.


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