General Etiquette > Family and Children

People who talk to themselves... sometimes.

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MorgnsGrl:
My DH is a guy who talks to himself and/or to his computer. Sometimes it seems to me that he's talking to himself, but in reality it turns out that he was talking to me -- and then he's annoyed that I "ignored" him. Other times, I think that he's talking to me but it turns out he wasn't, so when I respond he's annoyed because he wasn't talking to me and I've interrupted his train of thought. I feel like I can't win! Is there anyone else who has this problem, and if so, have you found anything that helps?

Blondie:
I have actually been in your DH's shoes, and found that the easiest way to fix it (and for me it was embarrassing when people would notice and think I was talking to them...) was to always start a statement to someone else by saying their name: "Bradford, do we need milk?" verse "Do we need milk?" I found it directed the comment to the given person and most people will tune in to their name. Is it possible to ask your DH to do the same? It might not work every time, but at least then he isn't expecting you to be a mind reader.

violinp:
I'm one who has a audible train of thought practically all the time around family (people give me funny looks out in public).

If your DH is actually addressing you, he should try to get your attention by saying, "Honey, listen to this," or something akin. It's really rude to expect people to practically read your mind about what conversations are directed at them, and which are not.

ETA: POD to Blondie

Itza:

--- Quote from: MorgnsGrl on December 31, 2012, 10:08:28 AM ---My DH is a guy who talks to himself and/or to his computer. Sometimes it seems to me that he's talking to himself, but in reality it turns out that he was talking to me -- and then he's annoyed that I "ignored" him. Other times, I think that he's talking to me but it turns out he wasn't, so when I respond he's annoyed because he wasn't talking to me and I've interrupted his train of thought. I feel like I can't win! Is there anyone else who has this problem, and if so, have you found anything that helps?

--- End quote ---

1) Yes, I have an eerily similar problem.
2) Not really. What's worked is short term, I mean.

My husband interrupts what I'm doing to talk to himself. So, when my concentration is broken and I responds with, "Huh? Wuh?" He'll say, "Oh, nothing I was just..." Then leave the sentence hanging as he does a lot. I wait a few beats because I know he's not going to finish his sentence (a pattern) though he's told me off for trying to hurry him when I've tried to prompt him (can't win!). So, when I've said, "Just what?" in this instance he'll say, "Oh, I was just talking to myself, I'm going to do X, Y and Z..." and trails off again. I asked, "Can you please not interrupt me just to talk to yourself?" He'll agree and apologise then do the same dingdangity thing again next time! Grrr!

Other times, we can be sat having breakfast. He'll be on the iPad, I'll be reading my Kindle. He's not blind or stupid so he can see I'm reading. He'll start reading stuff out to me, thereby interrupting my quiet reading. I asked, "Do you really want me to know what you're reading or do you just want to read aloud?" He said he wanted to read aloud so I handed him my Kindle and said, "Can you please read my book to me?" He did so. However, he still reads things out when I'm doing some quiet reading! Drives me barmy!

I feel your frustration OP, I really do. I wish I could help (((hug)))


*Edited because I can't eat chocolate and type at the same time.

MorgnsGrl:

--- Quote from: Itza on December 31, 2012, 10:32:05 AM ---My husband interrupts what I'm doing to talk to himself. So, when my concentration is broken and I responds with, "Huh? Wuh?" He'll say, "Oh, nothing I was just..." Then leave the sentence hanging as he does a lot. I wait a few beats because I know he's not going to finish his sentence (a pattern) though he's told me off for trying to hurry him when I've tried to prompt him (can't win!). So, when I've said, "Just what?" in this instance he'll say, "Oh, I was just talking to myself, I'm going to do X, Y and Z..." and trails off again. I asked, "Can you please not interrupt me just to talk to yourself?" He'll agree and apologise then do the same dingdangity thing again next time! Grrr!

--- End quote ---

Our husbands must be distantly related! Mine starts to say something then trails off and I wait, and wait, and wait for him to finish. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I think I'm going to try to just let it go when he trails off -- if he comes back and finishes, great, but it makes me a little crazy to be hanging there waiting to see if he'll go back to the thought or not. I'm glad this isn't an isolated problem limited to me, but am sorry there are others dealing with it!

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