Age-inappropriate gifts from Mom -- should I say anything?

[wellisawstar]

I hope I wrote this so I don't sound like a terrible brat.

My mom and I exchange gifts for birthdays and Chanukah. We see each other at least once a year and call each other about once every three weeks or so. We're both pretty busy and not very close.

In recent years, my mom has been stockpiling little gifts for me for Chanukah so that she doesn't have to worry about buying them just before the holiday. We have a few little traditions for Chanukah gifts that we enjoy. However, many of the other gifts are really meant for young girls (cupcake necklace, lollipop with a teddy bear snuggling it) or for someone much older (calendar with "over the hill jokes"). I am 28. I think she thinks, "oh, Welli used to like that so she'll like it now" or "oh, I like that, so will Welli!" At this point, most gifts she has given me are something that I can't wear because I'm allergic to the metals in the jewelry or don't need. I always thank her for all of the gifts while giving extra compliments to certain ones that I do love.

I feel like she is wasting money on these gifts, but I know she loves it when I send her Chanukah presents, and so I don't think I want to suggest ending our Chanukah gift exchange. We'll be trying for a baby soon, so she might end up transferring her energy toward her future grandchild, but there are no guarantees.

Should I say anything to her? If so, what? Maybe I could suggest a theme for Chanukah gifts next year?

[RebeccainGA]

A theme sounds like a perfect way to give both sides an out! Make it something neutral and age-agnostic - kitchen stuff, pets, a favorite hobby, etc. and hopefully things will at least be useful, if not adorable. :-)

[Mikayla]

I was about to say leave it alone until you mentioned theme at the very end.  I think this is a great approach.  You could just mention you think it will make the shopping more fun.  For the first theme, come up with various options and let mom pick from them.

[Snooks]

I think you should mention that you're allergic to the metals.  It doesn't have to be now but maybe in a couple of months, before she starts stockpiling for next year.  I do think a theme sounds like a good idea too.

[kitchcat]

How old is your mom? This sounds exactly what my mother went through with her own mom when she began to show signs of dementia. She would give her stuffed animals and dolls as gifts when she was in her 30s. I don't mean to cause a panic, but it's something  I might consider monitoring.

[wellisawstar]

How old is your mom? This sounds exactly what my mother went through with her own mom when she began to show signs of dementia. She would give her stuffed animals and dolls as gifts when she was in her 30s. I don't mean to cause a panic, but it's something  I might consider monitoring.

She's 63.

She has given me stuffed animals, etc. for a long time, although they have gotten smaller over the years. I think she has a sense of whimsy that tends toward the younger side of things, but I will keep an eye on it.