Author Topic: Well, this is awkward - would you say anything?  (Read 1885 times)

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SingMeAway

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Well, this is awkward - would you say anything?
« on: January 03, 2013, 12:58:40 AM »
So DH, DS and I just came back from visiting DH's family in Egypt. Our closest neighbors (3 households - Bob, Sam & Sue, Jane) were all aware. Neighbor Bob, sent a FB message once we got back saying, "Welcome home, can't wait to hear all about it, come to dinner and I'll invite Sam & Sue and Jane and you can tell us all about it.". Jane isn't on FB so he emailed her with the idea too and she was really excited about it as were Sam & Sue.

The first weekend in January didn't work for us, so the next weekend (Jan 12th) was suggested. I said we were available over FB. I was speaking to Jane later and she told me she couldn't make that date. I passed that info along to Bob and Sam & Sue via FB. Next FB message is from Sue saying "Ok, we're good for the 12th, is it on?". I reiterated that Jane was unavailable, but it was up to Bob. Bob then acknowledges it's on for the 12th and gives times.

I feel like Jane has been forgotten and while it's not my party, I feel rather awkward since she is the neighbor I have the most communication with out of the bunch. I've already mentioned twice that she is not available on that date, but I feel badly that maybe she's been left out. Should I say anything?

« Last Edit: January 03, 2013, 01:07:00 AM by SingMeAway »

WolfWay

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Re: Well, this is awkward - would you say anything?
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2013, 01:09:54 AM »
I'd let it go. You're not hosting the party, so you can't really dictate the guest list. Make plans to meet up with Jane on your own at a day she can make and you can chat about the trip over coffee and cake.
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

Ceallach

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Re: Well, this is awkward - would you say anything?
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2013, 03:27:33 AM »
There is no need to feel awkward. The host has selected a date tha suits him and when his GOH are available to attend.  Jane has declined presumably due to a prior commitment.  I think you'd be overstepping to say anything further - if Jane is desperate to come she'll rearrange her plans, or perhaps host another event on a different day.   It would be very rude of you to try to dictate the date of the party now that it's set.   It's his party and you already told him the date suits you.   It's done.
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Penguin_ar

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Re: Well, this is awkward - would you say anything?
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2013, 07:22:13 AM »
You have already said something.  To be fair, the date suits 3 out of 4 people, and I can understand why they don't want to push it out further- kind of weird to hear about a vacation a month or more after it happened.  You are free to invite Jane over when it suits her and you, to look at photos or admire Egyptian gifts or whatever.

SingMeAway

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Re: Well, this is awkward - would you say anything?
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2013, 04:38:13 PM »
No I wasn't presuming to dictate anyone's guest list in the least, particularly since Jane was invited. It just felt strange that both times I mentioned she couldn't make the date, no one acknowledged it. My husband pointed out that as both Jane and Bob share a sport, they've probably already discussed this and sorted it out.

Thanks everyone!