Author Topic: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?  (Read 3200 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MorgnsGrl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 784
When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« on: January 01, 2013, 06:02:02 PM »
On Christmas day, my ILs came for lunch. They brought us some gifts, among them a gift they delivered from DH's aunt and uncle (we didn't see them this holiday season.) DH opened some gifts while I was doing other things. One of them was the gift from his aunt and uncle. He no longer knows what it was. How on earth do I send a thank you card when I don't know what we're thanking them for? Do I just keep it really vague -- thank you so much for the thoughtful gift?

yokozbornak

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1231
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2013, 06:15:21 PM »
Did you not keep the gift?

nutraxfornerves

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2053
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2013, 06:25:01 PM »
Can you do a process of elimination? That is, can you identify the other gifts from your in laws?

Are you on good enough terms with the in laws that you can call call them and say, "This is really embarrassing, but can you tell me which gifts you gave us? You see, we didn't keep the package tags and..."

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

MorgnsGrl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 784
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2013, 06:45:17 PM »
Did you not keep the gift?

Presumably it's still here somewhere, but I don't know what it was, and DH insists that he doesn't, either. I never even saw it wrapped so I can't guess based on size of wrapped package. I know it sounds insane but I have NO CLUE.

mrkitty

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 775
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2013, 06:53:26 PM »
Can you call the ILs who delivered the gifts and ask them if they remember how the one from the Uncle was wrapped or how large it was? Do you think they would be able to remain discreet about it? Perhaps they even knew what it was - maybe Uncle told them? Just an idea.

But if all  else fails, do you think maybe it would work to just word the thank you in a vague way? Such as: Dear Uncle XXX, Thank you so much for sending such a thoughtful gift! It was such a disappointment not to be able to spend time with you this Christmas. I hope we will have the chance to visit soon...."

Basically talk around the gift and focus on a separate, but related subject...it's a little iffy, but if you have no way of finding out which gift it was, that would be my best advice.

Hope this helps!
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3853
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2013, 07:29:17 PM »
I'd be making DH cal his parents to clarify what was from them v what was from Uncle.  His mistake + his parents who can help = his problem to fix.

nutraxfornerves

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2053
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2013, 07:39:33 PM »
It occurs to me that it's also possible that aunt & uncle told the in laws what was in the package.  "Do you think you could deliver a present for us when you visit your son? We got a lovely electric turnip peeler for them, since they are so fond of turnips."

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

yokozbornak

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1231
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2013, 07:50:36 PM »
Did you not keep the gift?

Presumably it's still here somewhere, but I don't know what it was, and DH insists that he doesn't, either. I never even saw it wrapped so I can't guess based on size of wrapped package. I know it sounds insane but I have NO CLUE.

Sorry, I was having a brain cramp and didn't understand what you were saying!  :-[

I would contact your in-laws to see if they could clarify for you. 

QueenofAllThings

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2921
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2013, 08:02:14 PM »
Search the house for something you've never seen before?

Husband's error, husband's problem.  If they gave you more than one thing, "Thank you for the electric turnip peeler - we've so wanted one! All of our other gifts were marvelous too - you are far too generous!"

kudeebee

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2230
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2013, 08:20:36 PM »
I'd be careful about the adjectives you use in the thank you note without knowing the gift.  If you can't figure it out I would use (my change bolded)


Dear Uncle XXX, Thank you so much for sending our Christmas gift with mil and fil! It was such a disappointment not to be able to spend time with you this Christmas. I hope we will have the chance to visit soon...."

Basically talk around the gift and focus on a separate, but related subject...it's a little iffy, but if you have no way of finding out which gift it was, that would be my best advice.

That keeps it generic and  they won't know you can't find it, don't know what it is. 

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12538
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2013, 11:21:05 AM »
He should call Aunt and Uncle and say "I have a funny question to ask you....I know Mom and Dad dropped off a present from you.  I was opening them and neglected to keep track of which ones were from who...so which of the awesome gifts I got did you send?"

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13184
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2013, 03:46:05 PM »
My mother called me and asked if I remembered/knew who gave them the Digital Whatisit - I said that I knew only that we hadn't.  So she is going to have to contact the other siblings to see if THEY brought it. 

Been there, done that, and the baby & wedding shower "custom" of one of the other people writing down what each gift was and who it was from makes a lot more sense now than it did when I was getting married.

Now, if only we'd had someone DO that at Christmas!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

onyonryngs

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 362
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2013, 03:56:00 PM »
I'd be making DH cal his parents to clarify what was from them v what was from Uncle.  His mistake + his parents who can help = his problem to fix.

Yup, easy fix.

MorgnsGrl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 784
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2013, 07:09:48 AM »
DH decided to write a vague thank you card and focus more on hoping his cousins are well etc. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions!

Shalamar

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1327
Re: When you don't know what you're thanking the person for?
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2013, 10:57:56 AM »
I had something like this happen a few years ago when my grandmother was still alive.  Nana lived with her daughter in Manchester, U.K.  The two ladies sent my daughters Christmas gifts one year.  Both packages looked identical - they were both from Manchester and wrapped in brown paper.  The kids unwrapped them so quickly, I didn't get a chance to see which card fell out of which package, so I didn't know which lady had sent what.   All I knew was that one of them had sent sweaters, and the other pyjamas.  So, I took a chance and wrote letters thanking Nana for the sweaters and Aunt for the pyjamas.

You know where this is going, right?

I got a VERY frosty letter back from Nana that basically said "AUNT sent the sweaters, not me" and made me feel like an idiot.  Worse, my mother took Nana's side (which was very out-of-character; they didn't get along at all), saying "Why didn't you keep track?"  I said "Have you ever seen a five-year-old and a three-year-old unwrap presents?  They don't do it slowly or carefully!"