General Etiquette > Etiquette Hell Classics

Bridemaid blues

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PastryGoddess:
The girl was the OP and was young and trying to fit in with her boyfriends family.  She did say that in hindsight it was a bad idea and has affected her relationship with her SIL to this day.

Sharnita:
Keep in mind, it doesn't sound like the bride herself had the fortitude to say no to MOG.

wolfie:

--- Quote from: Otterpop on January 07, 2013, 11:08:46 PM ---Chances are, with a bride this nasty to a virtual stranger, she was not a nice person to begin with.  This is probably a pattern of behavior with her and no matter what OP did, the relationship was doomed.  (Note the bride has no lasting friendships with any of her bridesmaids either.)

MIL was pushy, but I didn't read her as having evil intent.

--- End quote ---

I don't have a real relationship with any of my bridesmaids anymore either. I don't think that fact is very telling.

Mental Magpie:

--- Quote from: wolfie on January 08, 2013, 03:47:23 PM ---
--- Quote from: Otterpop on January 07, 2013, 11:08:46 PM ---Chances are, with a bride this nasty to a virtual stranger, she was not a nice person to begin with.  This is probably a pattern of behavior with her and no matter what OP did, the relationship was doomed.  (Note the bride has no lasting friendships with any of her bridesmaids either.)

MIL was pushy, but I didn't read her as having evil intent.

--- End quote ---

I don't have a real relationship with any of my bridesmaids anymore either. I don't think that fact is very telling.

--- End quote ---

Ditto.  I have now been a maid of honor 4 times and a bridesmaid 1.  I speak to one (her wedding was just 9 days ago) regularly and my sister just barely.  We all just grew apart.

Annoyed in America:

--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on January 06, 2013, 02:10:34 PM ---
--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on January 06, 2013, 02:01:52 PM ---The whole story seems off to me.
it almost seems like it was the brides brother who insisted because so many of these things could have been resolved by the MOB.
I would assume the MOB would be aware of which BM dresses would have been paid for and could have stepped in to pay for the GF's dress if she had wanted the GF'S as part of the wedding.
Same with the seating chart for the rehearsal dinner.
I'm sort of sympathetic with the bride on the wedding picture issue.  Having a sibling's old significant other in all of your bridal party pictures can be irritataing. And since the couple wasn't engaged there was no strong assurance she would always be part of the family.
The MOB could have also invited the GF into the receiving line but I wonder if all of the wedding party was in the receiving line or just the MOH and best man and the immediate families.
I've not been to a wedding where the bridal party sits with the family, so can't figure out that complaint.


--- End quote ---

It sounds like you were reading an entirely different story altogether.... ???


OP has said that she found out it was MOB MOG who pushed for her to be included, so why do you think her now BIL insisted


As to the rest, I have no idea if the rest of the bridal party sat together at the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception.  Or if the rest of the bridal party was in the receiving line, so I can't speak to those.  OP can we get an update.


Edited to fix MOB to MOG

--- End quote ---

Update to story...sorry to be late in coming back... Anyway, to clarify, it was very formal wedding with a big sit down dinner...think "wedding" in Godfather movie.  The entire wedding party sans OP (me) sat at one large table. 
And to clarify other commenters confusion...the MIL saw that I was serious with son #2, and could see the writing on the wall.  She was just trying to be inclusive.  Bridezilla was also ugly to me in other ways at the time, saying to me at the wedding mass (Catholic) "You cannot take communion!"  She had no firsthand knowledge what religion I was or wasn't at the time of the comment.  She was just being snarky.  Also, at the photo shoot, she made me stand aside, obviously humiliating me, since several of the other party tried to coax me into photos, not realizing the situation.  I was young, 21, and was raised to smile and not make problems so I kept my mouth shut, and just silently endured all of this.    I wish I had never been in this wedding as it caused me so much pain and created a huge situation that made it impossible for me to EVER have a relationship with my only SIL.  All because me future MIL was trying to include me.  She probably thought that bridzilla and I would bond over this. 

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