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Bridemaid blues

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wolfie:

--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on January 06, 2013, 02:10:34 PM ---
OP has said that she found out it was MOB who pushed for her to be included, so why do you think her now BIL insisted

--- End quote ---

No - it was not the MOB who pushed for her to be included. The OP's boyfriend's brother was getting married - so it was the mother of the groom that pushed for the OP to be included. I can see why the Bride was upset - this was probably part of an in-law battle.

PastryGoddess:

--- Quote from: wolfie on January 06, 2013, 02:15:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on January 06, 2013, 02:10:34 PM ---
OP has said that she found out it was MOB who pushed for her to be included, so why do you think her now BIL insisted

--- End quote ---

No - it was not the MOB who pushed for her to be included. The OP's boyfriend's brother was getting married - so it was the mother of the groom that pushed for the OP to be included. I can see why the Bride was upset - this was probably part of an in-law battle.

--- End quote ---

Good point...Thank you for that.  I'll update my post.  The point I was trying to make is that it doesn't make sense to say the brother insisted when the OP has said it wasn't the case.

Hmmmmm:

--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on January 06, 2013, 02:10:34 PM ---
--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on January 06, 2013, 02:01:52 PM ---The whole story seems off to me.
it almost seems like it was the brides brother who insisted because so many of these things could have been resolved by the MOB.
I would assume the MOB would be aware of which BM dresses would have been paid for and could have stepped in to pay for the GF's dress if she had wanted the GF'S as part of the wedding.
Same with the seating chart for the rehearsal dinner.
I'm sort of sympathetic with the bride on the wedding picture issue.  Having a sibling's old significant other in all of your bridal party pictures can be irritataing. And since the couple wasn't engaged there was no strong assurance she would always be part of the family.
The MOB could have also invited the GF into the receiving line but I wonder if all of the wedding party was in the receiving line or just the MOH and best man and the immediate families.
I've not been to a wedding where the bridal party sits with the family, so can't figure out that complaint.


--- End quote ---

It sounds like you were reading an entirely different story altogether.... ???


OP has said that she found out it was MOB MOG who pushed for her to be included, so why do you think her now BIL insisted


As to the rest, I have no idea if the rest of the bridal party sat together at the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception.  Or if the rest of the bridal party was in the receiving line, so I can't speak to those.  OP can we get an update.


Edited to fix MOB to MOG

--- End quote ---
Your right, I did read this completely wrong.  I read it as the boyfriend's sister was marrying.  For the life of me, I can't imagine a MOG getting away with pushing for or influencing bridesmaids.

Otterpop:
Chances are, with a bride this nasty to a virtual stranger, she was not a nice person to begin with.  This is probably a pattern of behavior with her and no matter what OP did, the relationship was doomed.  (Note the bride has no lasting friendships with any of her bridesmaids either.)

MIL was pushy, but I didn't read her as having evil intent.

LEMon:

--- Quote from: Otterpop on January 07, 2013, 11:08:46 PM ---Chances are, with a bride this nasty to a virtual stranger, she was not a nice person to begin with.  This is probably a pattern of behavior with her and no matter what OP did, the relationship was doomed.  (Note the bride has no lasting friendships with any of her bridesmaids either.)

MIL was pushy, but I didn't read her as having evil intent.

--- End quote ---
If I, as MOG, insisted that my DIL to be include a brother's girlfriend as part of her wedding party, I'm seriously overstepping MOG bounds to the MOGzilla state.  I can see asking that his girlfriend be invited as groom's brother's date.  But beyond that, way outta line.

Poor bride.  Yes, she was nasty (and I have no support for her for that), but I see her as caught in an awful situation set up by her soon to be MIL.

What keeps coming to my mind is "Why in the world did this girl accept?"  She had to know she wasn't a friend or relative.  She had to understand that this bride was being pressured.  She had to understand from how she was treated prior to the wedding that the bride would be very happy if she backed out.  Why did she accept?  And why did she keep being part of the bridal party?

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