Author Topic: Bridemaid blues  (Read 13722 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: Bridemaid blues
« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2013, 07:08:10 PM »
Re: the groom's brother's girlfriend (the original storyteller) and whether she could decline to be in the wedding party:

I think most people don't think they -do- have a choice to say no when they're asked to be in a wedding party.

Add to that the fact that this girl was trying so hard to fit in, and her MIL is pressuring her as well--I can see why she just went along with it. She herself says that she wouldn't do it again--this was a learning experience for her.

Poppea

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Re: Bridemaid blues
« Reply #31 on: December 27, 2013, 09:52:20 PM »
I don't even understand why anyone would accept and invitation to be in your boyfriends brother's fiance's wedding party.  ALso why be mad when this stranger makes you buy your own dress?  You weren't a friend or relative of the bride.  Paying for the bridesmaid's dress is pretty standard.  If the bride wished to pay for the dresses of the bridesmaids she chose thats a really nice thing.  No reason she should spend a dime on the bridesmaid that was forced on her.

I can seeing accepting the invitation in a bid to try to not create waves.  I also disagree that the bridesmaid was "forced" on her; she could have just as easily declined to issue the invitation.

Your reasoning works for both of the ladies.  The bride accepted the gf in order to not create waves, but the GF could have just as easily declined.

That's my point.  Your post seemed to be laying the blame on the OP for accepting; I was pointing out that the blame could have easily also been placed on the bride for asking.

The OP is the one on this forum.  If the bride was on the forum I would blame her for her lack of spine and not being polite to the GF.  I don't think she needed to pay for the dress tho.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Bridemaid blues
« Reply #32 on: December 28, 2013, 07:55:08 PM »
I don't even understand why anyone would accept and invitation to be in your boyfriends brother's fiance's wedding party.  ALso why be mad when this stranger makes you buy your own dress?  You weren't a friend or relative of the bride.  Paying for the bridesmaid's dress is pretty standard.  If the bride wished to pay for the dresses of the bridesmaids she chose thats a really nice thing.  No reason she should spend a dime on the bridesmaid that was forced on her.

I can seeing accepting the invitation in a bid to try to not create waves.  I also disagree that the bridesmaid was "forced" on her; she could have just as easily declined to issue the invitation.

Your reasoning works for both of the ladies.  The bride accepted the gf in order to not create waves, but the GF could have just as easily declined.

That's my point.  Your post seemed to be laying the blame on the OP for accepting; I was pointing out that the blame could have easily also been placed on the bride for asking.

The OP is the one on this forum.  If the bride was on the forum I would blame her for her lack of spine and not being polite to the GF.  I don't think she needed to pay for the dress tho.

I can see where we disagree; I don't think it's conducive to blame only the person here. To me, if blame must lie, it lies with whomever is blame worthy regardless of their online status.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.