I don't know how much detail I've gone into about my father's girlfriend, but she is one of the reasons that I find him so toxic. I cannot stand the woman. She is rude, has no boundaries, and says very outrageous things. I can give some background examples but let's just say that the last one after my daughter was born was the one that broke the camel's back.
I am a fat woman and I'm not denying that. However, when my DD was born and I was recovering, she stopped by the house and told me that my baby was too fat and I needed to watch out or she was going to grow up to be just as fat as I am. Aside from the fact that I just gave birth, was hormonal, and already had a lot of fears about teaching my baby healthy habits, this resulted in a cut direct for her and subsequently my father when he backed her up.
After a year, Dad and I reached a truce that was a made a bit easier by the fact that we lived literally across the country from both of them for the past 7 years. End B/G.
We moved back in October and she keeps trying to get together with us and pretend that nothing ever happened. My husband refuses to be in the same room with her and was livid a few weeks ago when we went to meet Dad at the mall and he had her with him (no, he didn't tell us first). So we were forced into seeing her and so was our daughter.
In today's mail, I received a Christmas card from her - guess what is on the cover? Santa Claus dining out with Mrs. Claus while she says "Just bring him a salad - he's on the Chimney Watchers Diet". I'm hurt by the card and offended that she would send it. First, am I reading something into it that isn't there or is this a direct insult? I don't think I am but my dislike colors a lot of interactions I have with her.
My question is how do I handle this going forward? Obviously I'm not going to acknowledge the card or let her know how hurt I am by it, since that will only play into her hand. I feel like I have a responsibility to myself and my daughter not to let her toxicity and remarks get to either of us, and this is especially important now that DD is 10 and is starting to be very sensitive about everything.
I can try to have a come to Deity meeting with Dad, but don't know how successful that's going to be. I suspect it may be time for another cut. I was hoping it wasn't going to turn out this way but I don't see any alternatives if the come to Deity meeting doesn't work. Ideas?