Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Party Responses - 1 Out of 5!

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Sparkle Star:
It's my daughter's birthday on Monday. Not a great time of year - everyone is getting over Christmas and New Year, and often it can be a bit of an afterthought.

This year I'm more organised. On Saturday I've arranged for a mobile beauty therapist to come over and give my daughter and her guests either mini-manicures, a facial or a massage. We'll then order in pizza to eat while watching a movie (or two).
I told Daughter she could invite five friends and also agreed that they could all sleep over as long as they bring a pillow and a duvet or sleeping bag, as we don't have enough spare bedding for five extra people. I did stipulate that I needed to know for certain how many of the girls were coming as I need to borrow an air mattress or two from friends.

So... The invites were designed by Daughter on the computer, printed out and given to her friends. It asked for RSVPs from the parents to myself and included my email address and my mobile, office and home phone numbers.
Daughter gave out the invites and told her friends to ask their parents to RSVP. All five girls have told Daughter they are attending, but only one parent has contacted me directly to confirm.

Maybe I'm trying to be a bit too organised, but as the girls are all aged 12-13 I'd like a parental response.... Experience tells me they might all say they can come, but they might not realise their parents have other plans. I guess we'll see how many turn up on Saturday.....

Well, you don't just have to wait and wonder. You can contact the parents, either by phone (my preference) or email.

That's what I do whenever I don't get rsvp's. Which is often - it's a modern phenomenon, unfortunately.

Did you put a reply-by date on the invitations? I've found that a lot of people simply don't reply unless there is a specific date listed and even then they mostly reply on that date or the day after, instead of before the date. I have no idea why.

But I agree with Peaches. If you need an exact head count, contact the parents. If they hem and haw about giving a definite "yes," give them a specific time to reply by--"I need to know by Thursday at noon. Otherwise, I'll take it that your daughter is not coming." Or, if there's not enough time for that, "Well, I need the exact head count. Since you can't give a definite 'yes,' I'll have to take that as a 'no.' We'll miss seeing Katie at the party."

Sometimes you just really need to be firm and pin people down.

At age 12-13 my parents no longer RSVP'ed on my behalf to parties I was going to - that was all on me. I could see such an expectation had the children been <10, but at this age they're old enough to respond for themselves.

Did the flyer say that the RSVP needs to come from the parents?  Because even when I was little (grade school) I would RSVP for my friends' birthday parties.  If the parent then came on the phone and asked for my mom, I would put her on to confirm, but that request usually didn't happen.  If the flyer just said RSVP without any indication of needing a parent to do it, my parents likely would have pooh-poohed my asking them to call, thinking that it was unnecessary.


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