I just wanted to clarify something....months back, I did stop bringing up subject with sis....we continued to talk but I didn't bring up the subject with her and I had hoped she would no longer interject herself . But, then she found a way 'around ' me not discussing it, by handing me a book. And since it was given as a kind of gift, it made it even more awkward, to know how to respond to a gift, that is really a statement and attempt to impose her view on me. It would be kind of similar to let's say if she had dyslexia, and I insisted she had aspergers, and then giving her a book on aspergers.
In a more general sense I think most the time its not the best thing to hand someone a self help book, even if it IS an issue, let's say like giving an overweight relative a book on weight watchers...unless they shared with you they realy want to get help for it.
I was trying to figure out how to highlight other posters quotes, in my reply, bc there were some really insightful things said here and I wanted to highlight some of them,.....
At least a couple people said how it seems her need to be right, is so important to her that she is hurting me as a result even if she doesn't realize it. I think she really feels she knows best, she is a lawyer and I have an AA degree.
I think its wrong for them to talk about me apart from me, even if it was some other issue. If they were talking about my eating habits and why I need to be a vegetarian behind my back, that would be wrong imo but because this involves something alot more serious its not just a matter of inappropriate, it crosses over into being harmful
I think someone above said I should mail her a self help book on diabetes...I am tempted to mail off a copy of 'diabetes for dummies', with a note about how I hope this can help with her 'issue' and see what she says
Then if she objects with a "Susie, why did you give me a book on diabetes, I don't have that" then I could say "oh sis, you are deeply in denial....this is classic for diabetics to not want to admit to it, because then they will have to change their eating habits...hehe
Tempted to, but probably won't....I would like to have her lay this issue to rest with a rest in peace sign over it...they were being supportive until sis got this bee in her bonnet about bipolar. She does not like to back down from something once she says it bc she doesn't like to be wrong. I would love for them to be there for me in even small ways, like others in my group have family support. But now that sis has said this, mom thinks its the gospel truth, and so it will be darn near impossible to regain the support . That's sad, but I can live with that, ...like I said I just want her if she can't be a positive role, I just want her to stop actively interfering and lay it to rest