Author Topic: reciprocal facebook liking  (Read 3033 times)

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Knitterly

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reciprocal facebook liking
« on: January 03, 2013, 09:27:24 AM »
This is a tale of two businesses.  The short version of the question is this, if a family member has a business page on facebook and likes your business page, is there any obligation to like their page in return?

Here's the long version with background.  I posted a thread back in July about a family member with a business.  Thread is here.  That family member is my brother in law, Bill.  I generally dislike Bill for many reasons, small and big.  To be perfectly honest, until last night I'd forgotten all about Bill's business.  I still think his business plan is weak and the business cannot last long.  It's based on an internet meme - one that has already had it's day and is all but forgotten now.  Suffice it to say, Bill did not become the instant rich man he thought he would.  I don't know how well the business is doing, but I do know that money is tight for him, so I cannot imagine it is doing very well. 

I am facebook friends with Bill because he is family and I like seeing updates about his kids.  They are cute and I love them.  Bill invited me to "like" his business page.  I did not.  Honestly, it's really not my thing, I don't understand it, and I prefer to keep my business likes for things I don't mind showing up on my newsfeed and for things I actually like.

So, I also have a small hobby business.  My business plan and focus is very different from Bill's.  To compare the two would be like comparing apples and oranges.  I'm not in it for the money, just to share my creations.  Several friends encouraged me to create my own facebook page for my business, which I did.  I invited most of my family members and those of my friends interested in my hobby to "like" the page. 

Bill "liked" my page.  But then he sent me a note.  "Hey, you never liked my business page.  You better return the favour."  Until he sent that message, I'd actually completely forgotten that his business even existed.  I just politely ignored it and was very busy with LK when it came up at the beginning.  Most family members just smiled and nodded.  It's been so long since I've heard about it that I really thought it was over.

Here's the thing, I don't consider it a favour.  You like someone's business page because you are interested in seeing their updates, deals, new product, and things that are happening.  If you're not interested in keeping up with what is happening with the business, you don't like the page. 

I wonder if I am being rude?

First, I actually have no intention of liking Bill's page.  I still think his business idea is dumb.  It doesn't appeal to me.

Second, I don't know if or how to respond to his message.  Facebook now shows you when someone has read your message, so I know he knows I've read it.  If I could get away with it, I wouldn't even bother replying.  But I feel like the fact he knows I've read it makes it rude for me to ignore it.

So, once he liked my page, did that create an obligation for me to do the same?
« Last Edit: January 03, 2013, 09:32:02 AM by Knitterly »

MrTango

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2013, 10:30:28 AM »
"Liking" a page is an endorsement of that business (whether intentional or not).  If you don't want to be seen as endorsing that business, don't click the "Like" button.

No matter what the business has done for you, you're under no obligation to "like" their page, just as no one is under any obligation to "like" your page.

Yvaine

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2013, 11:27:04 AM »
"You better"? Yikes, I sure hope he meant that lighter than it sounded and this is just a case of tone not translating! He sounds insufferable.

"Liking" a page is an endorsement of that business (whether intentional or not).  If you don't want to be seen as endorsing that business, don't click the "Like" button.

No matter what the business has done for you, you're under no obligation to "like" their page, just as no one is under any obligation to "like" your page.

This too.

Knitterly

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2013, 10:39:59 AM »
"You better"? Yikes, I sure hope he meant that lighter than it sounded and this is just a case of tone not translating! He sounds insufferable.

"Liking" a page is an endorsement of that business (whether intentional or not).  If you don't want to be seen as endorsing that business, don't click the "Like" button.

No matter what the business has done for you, you're under no obligation to "like" their page, just as no one is under any obligation to "like" your page.

This too.

He is a little insufferable.  I generally dislike him.

So far, I have neither replied nor liked his page.  Part of me feels like I should reply.  But.. what to say?
"Hey Bro,  I hope you didn't mean that how it sounded.  lol!  Just wanted you to understand that you really don't have any obligation at all to like my page if it's not your thing.  I just wanted to separate it out from my personal page.  "
Then just continue to politely ignore his business.

Then again, I am wondering if my ignoring is not so polite after all.  It's just really not my thing.  I don't get it.  So, maybe I should add a sentence like "As for your business, I'm glad it's going well for you.  I never really understood the meme it's based on, so it's not really my thing."

How does that sound?

TootsNYC

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2013, 10:52:15 AM »
Just ignore it. Don't start something.

If he brings it up AGAIN, then say, "I don't 'like' very many businesses, Bill. Sorry. Feel free to unlike mine if you wish."

Don't bring anything else into the issue.

Luci

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2013, 01:44:48 PM »
In fact, I might feel betrayed if you Liked something that is questionable and not trust you anymore.

I have friends that I trust and often go their Likes, and one who Liked something that was just nasty and stupid (an offensive clothing line) so that tainted her credibility with understanding my tastes, and I don't bother with any of her recommendations anymore. Oh, and the cousin who Likes a pyramid scheme is one I won't check on, either, but she's long gone for other reasons.

squeakers

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2013, 01:17:40 PM »
"I invited most of my family members and those of my friends interested in my hobby to "like" the page."

Did you ask Bill to "like" your page? If you did then I can see why he is wanting (ok, he's a bit more aggressive than wanting) you to like his page back.

 Do you really think everyone who liked your page cared about it? Nope.. they cared about you so liked it (extrapolating from my own experiences on liking friends' and family's business pages).

Do you think this could blow up in a family row way? Is this a hill you can die on?

(Personally I don't care who likes what on FB.. now and then I might check something out based on a sidebar showing someone liked something but I don't check out individuals "like" pages .. I don't think it is even visible anymore on the info page.  It used to be and it helped me know which list to put a new friend into but I gave up on lists other than "family" as people start and stop playing games.)
"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

Hmmmmm

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2013, 04:02:18 PM »
I was also wondering if Bill received an invite directly to like your page.  I can understand him being confused if he did receive one.  I think if he did receive an invite you should acknowledge that it was sent in error as you are aware he is not engaged in your hobby business and use the wording about not using Facebook for liking other businesses. 

Knitterly

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2013, 01:23:33 PM »
I did invite him to like it.  Like I said, until I had gotten the note from him, I had completely forgotten about his business or that he had a facebook page for it.  That's why I was concerned about whether I was rude in not liking his page and why I felt like I should respond in some way.


Kaypeep

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2013, 05:02:22 PM »
I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.  For the sake of family harmony I'd just click LIKE and hide the feed from that page.  This would not by my hill to die, honestly.  I agree with you on principle, it shouldn't be a big deal and he seems kind of petty to be keeping track.  But it's apparently important to him, and what does it really cost you to click LIKE?  Just because your page is a hobby and not as vital to you is irrelevant.  I'd just go with the flow and click LIKE.  There's no real consequence to you, is there?

LadyR

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2013, 08:22:26 PM »
I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.  For the sake of family harmony I'd just click LIKE and hide the feed from that page.  This would not by my hill to die, honestly.  I agree with you on principle, it shouldn't be a big deal and he seems kind of petty to be keeping track.  But it's apparently important to him, and what does it really cost you to click LIKE?  Just because your page is a hobby and not as vital to you is irrelevant.  I'd just go with the flow and click LIKE.  There's no real consequence to you, is there?

This is what I would do as well. I have liked many business pages on FB for friends and family that I have no interest in, I just hide the updates if I don't care, but I figure its the polite thing to do.


YellowSub

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2013, 11:40:49 PM »
While I wouldn't bother to send a nasty note about it, it does seem a bit self centered to refuse to support someone's page then request they support yours.

As another poster pointed out, most people click "like" because they like and want to support you, not so much because of the content.


CaptainObvious

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2013, 11:36:23 AM »
In fact, I might feel betrayed if you Liked something that is questionable and not trust you anymore.

I have friends that I trust and often go their Likes, and one who Liked something that was just nasty and stupid (an offensive clothing line) so that tainted her credibility with understanding my tastes, and I don't bother with any of her recommendations anymore. Oh, and the cousin who Likes a pyramid scheme is one I won't check on, either, but she's long gone for other reasons.

Trust you, as far as what?
I admit that what other people think isn't even something I have ever thought about when I "like" something on my FB page. It is what I like, and I never thought that other people would judge me for it. Just because you may not like it, it doesn't automatically make someone a bad person.

Knitterly

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2013, 12:33:48 PM »
I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.  For the sake of family harmony I'd just click LIKE and hide the feed from that page.  This would not by my hill to die, honestly.  I agree with you on principle, it shouldn't be a big deal and he seems kind of petty to be keeping track.  But it's apparently important to him, and what does it really cost you to click LIKE?  Just because your page is a hobby and not as vital to you is irrelevant.  I'd just go with the flow and click LIKE.  There's no real consequence to you, is there?

I never said that my page was not vital to me.  It's just an entirely different sort of business.  I make custom made jewlery.  It's pretty fancy stuff, and even my mother in law has commented positively on it.  I don't ever expect to make huge money out of this.  If I make $5k a year, I would consider it to be a huge success.  He, on the other hand, is anticipating retiring off the money he'll earn out of this t-shirt business based on an already dead meme.   So the difference isn't whether I consider it vital - it's a difference in terms of expected "bigness" of the business.  I will never earn big.  It will never be a real income.

My issue is, I did not want to like his page.  Because I don't like his page.  I don't like his business.  I will never buy from his business.  It does not appeal to me at all.  He could, theoretically, like my business and buy from me.   There is no consequence to me except the principle of the thing.  I don't like feeling obligated to do something.  Bill has not exactly endeared himself to me (this is the same brother in law who confided in me about an emotional affair last summer - after I told him I didn't want to hear about it).  He has boundary issues. 

I ended up backed into a corner in a conversation and ended up liking his page.  I'm still a little resentful about it.  I don't mind being asked, but I would like my "no" respected as much as I would respect his "no" if he didn't want to like my page.

To add to the headache, he has started posting what feel like slightly sarcastic comments on my posts.  Like, if I post a picture of a new piece of jewelry, he will comment "Ooooooooh.  Aaaahhhhhh."  This has been done after I "liked" his page. 

whiskeytangofoxtrot

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Re: reciprocal facebook liking
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2013, 12:53:54 PM »
I had a former(? I think...still figuring that one) friend who badgered me about "liking" her page, so I did temporarily to shut her up, then "unliked" it. She noticed, and started bugging me about it again. The second time, I ignored her, and she finally quit.