Author Topic: I have not the words...UPDATE: Post #132  (Read 15123 times)

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Thipu1

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #30 on: January 03, 2013, 12:03:44 PM »
Has the crazy HOA Lady from years past surfaced again?  It sure sounds like it.

I'm thinking of cavorting snow-women and the infamous racist bagels as well as the dictum for Halloween costumes. 

Your DD wanted to give a little Winter Break gift to her classmates.  That's a sweet thing to do and she is to be applauded for her thoughtfulness. In my youth, no parent of whatever religious belief would have been offended by such a gift.  A snowflake ornament is a snowflake.  We all hope that we will see snowflakes in winter and, if we're lucky, catch them on our tongues. 







Lynn2000

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #31 on: January 03, 2013, 12:04:53 PM »
In this case, I'd be interested in finding out if the school and/or teacher received a note as well.  All of the children came home with huge holiday bags stamped with Santa Claus and stuffed with Christmas treats (holiday themed coloring books, Christmas candy, small toys, etc).  I think we went out of our way to make the gift as seasonal as possible without tying it to any particular religion.  The Christmas tree has pagan origins, a snowflake is not specific to any religion, and the colors chosen were seasonal for winter as well.  It's not like we handed out tiny creches.

ETA:  I should also mention that we were solicited for contributions to these bags well before the winter break--so I did not see anything wrong in providing an additional small gift from DD.  And I did make sure she gifted everyone so that no one would feel left out.

In this case, it seems like the school itself was perfectly happy handing out explicitly Christmas stuff, and even trying to get parents to contribute to that, so the OP had no reason to suspect that DD's gift would offend anyone, since the school was doing the same thing in an even more Christmas-y way. OP, could you talk to the teacher about this? It might help you to get a better feel for what the other parents in general expect, if there was any negative feedback about the school Christmas stuff, etc.. Plus, the teacher could keep an eye on the child with the offended parents, on the off chance s/he retaliates against DD. Who knows, maybe the teacher will say, "Oh them? Yeah, they find something to complain about twice a month. Guess it's your turn."

I don't think I would tell DD about it. I would guess that while picking out the ornament and writing the note you already had discussions about respecting other people's beliefs--"Why can't we do the Santa Claus?"--and I think at her age it probably wouldn't do any good to tell her someone thought you'd failed.
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Yvaine

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #32 on: January 03, 2013, 12:07:18 PM »
This may be regional? Kids exchanging little Valentine's cards is really really common where I grew up (Midwest US). They generally come in packages of, oh I don't know, 30 or so? About as many as you'd need to distribute to a grade school class, anyway. They'll usually have Spiderman or Pokemon or something on them. Adult romantic partners do also exchange cards and gifts (though not anonymously) but this is pretty separate from the kiddie observance of the holiday.

There are some religions that prohibit this.  It's not regional.

Oh, sorry, I'm not referring to your comment about religion and Valentine's. I'm referring to laceandbits' comment where she was confused that kids would exchange valentines at all because she was only familiar with the tradition as something adults did anonymously.

acicularis

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #33 on: January 03, 2013, 12:09:45 PM »
I think you were fine.  This parent was looking for a reason to be offended.  You're probably right to just let it go.

Sometimes my daughters bring home Christmas cards that are religious in nature. We are not Christian, but I don't kick up a fuss about these cards. Their friends are just trying to be nice, so we accept them in the spirit they were given.

Otterpop

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #34 on: January 03, 2013, 12:28:24 PM »
In every large population there are a certain number of whackdoodles.  You just observed one.  Tag them, let them go and track from a great distance.  They should provide entertainment for years to come as long as it's not YOU who provokes (though with certainty, it will be someone).

ladyknight1

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #35 on: January 03, 2013, 12:28:42 PM »
Having a little celebration for every possible holiday was commonplace in my son's elementary school. I always sent in pencils with seasonal designs and fun erasers. I don't see anything wrong with what you did, OP.

VltGrantham

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #36 on: January 03, 2013, 12:33:13 PM »
Quote
The OP.  She said it was obviously a Christmas ornament.

Yes, I did.  However, had I just described it as a "sparkly, acrylic snowflake" and not added that it was indeed a Christmas ornament, would the inference be the same?  Could it not also be a sun catcher?  A winter decoration?  That was why we chose that one. 

I have to admit, I think the parents are picking at straws here.

I'm going to talk to DD's teacher tomorrow.  If she thinks it is o.k., I will make the Valentine's for everyone and let her decide whether or not to slip this kid's one into the bag he/she will be getting from the school or she can return it to DD and she can have one extra.

mj

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #37 on: January 03, 2013, 12:35:17 PM »
I read it as the parent was upset that the ornament wasn't religious enough.

OP, we did have a handful of people this year upset that the elementary schools choir program was labeled "Holiday Program" rather than "Christmas Program".  And not just a little upset, upset enough that they started a Facebook page to claim we are squashing their religion in schools.  It seems to have gained a little movement with people across the States. 

I wouldn't pay attention.

gorplady

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #38 on: January 03, 2013, 12:40:07 PM »
Honestly, you should just ignore them. Or, you could nonchalantly write them back and say "cool story, bro. Special snowflakes aren't just winter decorations any more. Who knew? Thanks for the heads-up." And smile secretly, because you know what special snowflake means.

VltGrantham

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #39 on: January 03, 2013, 12:46:11 PM »
Quote
Special snowflakes aren't just winter decorations any more. Who knew? Thanks for the heads-up." And smile secretly, because you know what special snowflake means.

LOL--that has REALLY caught on in our family and I did get it from this board.  DH and DD both use it and now my Mom does too.

Anytime anyone does anything like that, she'll just raise an eyebrow and say "aah...another special snowflake!"

SPuck

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #40 on: January 03, 2013, 12:54:26 PM »
I would ignore it but talk to the teacher. From your post it sounds like it was sent by way of the teacher, and if they have the gaul to send you something I would not be surprised if they sent the teacher something. I would want to clear the air on that end.

onyonryngs

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #41 on: January 03, 2013, 12:58:50 PM »
This may be regional? Kids exchanging little Valentine's cards is really really common where I grew up (Midwest US). They generally come in packages of, oh I don't know, 30 or so? About as many as you'd need to distribute to a grade school class, anyway. They'll usually have Spiderman or Pokemon or something on them. Adult romantic partners do also exchange cards and gifts (though not anonymously) but this is pretty separate from the kiddie observance of the holiday.

There are some religions that prohibit this.  It's not regional.

Misread that one - speed reading is not my strong suit obviously!  Sorry!
Oh, sorry, I'm not referring to your comment about religion and Valentine's. I'm referring to laceandbits' comment where she was confused that kids would exchange valentines at all because she was only familiar with the tradition as something adults did anonymously.

And wanted to add that it could've been handled better by giftee's parents - just a short note requesting no gifts for their child was all that was needed. 
« Last Edit: January 03, 2013, 01:10:50 PM by onyonryngs »

The TARDIS

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #42 on: January 03, 2013, 01:03:28 PM »
I recall once being the only class unable to celebrate with a Christmas party before break because there was one Muslim and one Jewish student in it. The other classes had a blast. Those two kids ended up bullied because they "ruined all the fun." It was such a shame.

There was no way your daughter could have known the religion of everyone in her class. She stayed with the spirit of the holiday which is love and giving. It's a sad thing that her kindness was met in such a nasty way.

In my opinion, the children of parents who are strictly religious that way should be taught young to say "Thank you, but I cannot accept this. Do you have any friends in another class you can give it to instead?"

I hope the sentence above doesn't delve into forbidden territory. My apologies if it has.
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miranova

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #43 on: January 03, 2013, 01:05:55 PM »
An elementary school child is not an agent of the government and thus is not even capable of promoting a state religion so there is no seperation of church and state issue here.  Private citizens can give whatever overtly religious gifts they wish to, and people are free to dispose of them as they wish.

Having said that, that's not even what happened here.  It's a snowflake for Pete's sake.  A snowflake is not religious.

The biggest irony here is that the parents seem to be religious themselves.  I don't think writing nasty letters to an elementary school child's obviously positive intentions is something Jesus would do.   ::)

miranova

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Re: I have not the words...
« Reply #44 on: January 03, 2013, 01:09:47 PM »
If one follows a religion where one can not accept certain gifts, that does not extend to me not being able to give gifts.  Certainly, if I know in advance that you don't want gifts, I will respect that and not give you one, but people who have the stance of not receiving Valentine's need to own their own beliefs.  This means that having a disappointed child is going to happen now and again.  Either their beliefs are important enough to explain the disappointment to their child or not.  They can't expect the entire world to stop celebrating holidays because they don't want to deal with their child's disappointment.