General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Yet another reason social media=bad manners

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Calypso:
Today's Dear Prudence, last letter

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/01/dear_prudence_my_white_boyfriend_said_the_n_word.2.html

the gist: people are evidently sending out "you're not invited to my wedding" notices to the non-invitees.....I guess because otherwise they might see posts about the wedding on social media and wonder "where's my invitation?"

I agree with Prudie. Once upon a time, all you needed to know you weren't invited was to....not get an invitation. Of course, that was before the non-invited got to read months of "what I'm doing for my wedding" posts on Facebook......I can't really see how Fbook is improving life as we know it.

But then, I'm a curmudgeon.  :P ::)


ETA my question: has anybody here ever heard of this? done it? Had it done to them? Never heard of it, but can see the necessity of it?

Cat-Fu:
Ha, I just stumbled on this thread coming from this one, about the same thing! (Except I didn't realize the advice column was Dear Prudence!) http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=123989.0

I disagree with Prudie; I don't really think facebook has anything to do with it at all. I think the culprit is terrible advice columns like the one Prudie links.

Calypso:
Whoops! Thanks, Cat-Fu.

Jaelle:
I can't say I agree. I love Facebook and it's definitely approved life for me by putting me back in touch with people I might never have encountered again. :)  (I'm better friends now with some high school classmates than I ever would have predicted when I was that horribly shy small-town kid!)

I think you approach it the same way you did before Facebook. Either way, people will find out you were married and they were not invited. And they can handle it well or badly according to their feelings about it and maturity levels.

I've backed off a friendship a bit when I realized someone I know wasn't going to invite me to the wedding. It was more a "OK, I thought we were closer than we are. Good to know" situation. Facebook had nothing to do with it. It's just another way to find out. It's going to happen one way or another.

The "you're not invited" notices are appalling no matter what. :P 

thedudeabides:
Social media =/= bad manners any more than any other form of communication automatically = bad manners.  That's a complete lack of logic.  Rude people will be rude in person, on the phone, via telegram, via text, on Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media they choose.  Polite people will be polite.

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