Author Topic: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.  (Read 6623 times)

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Drunken Housewife

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2013, 04:57:57 PM »
The mother was clearly, completely wrong to yell at Rose for her child's fall.  She went far beyond what she should have done; she was really rude. 

However, despite that, I would say that Rose should not have been walking through Tomorrowland with her cane the way she was, when she could have been using the OP as her guide.  I say this as someone who was very close to a blind person for years, a cane user, and so I have myself gone to a variety of public places with a blind friend.  Disneyland is a crowded place with lots of little kids, so it was foreseeable that a little kid would tear across your path.  Even if it wasn't crowded at that very moment in that very place, it's just a surging place with a lot of small children, and everyone should use the most care they can to not create tripping hazards IMHO.  And yes, parents should always control their small children, but they do sometimes break away, and some of them, no matter how conscientious the parents may be, are determined to break loose (I myself had one toddler who was a bolter and one whom I could trust to stay under my control, and for the bolter I resorted to using one of those widely ridiculed and despised leashes as I simply could not keep her by my side at all times, despite my best efforts). 

Rose could have held the OP's arm lightly, as she did the rest of the day, and that would have been better.  I am really sorry Rose's day was harmed by the rude mother screaming at her, though. 
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The TARDIS

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2013, 05:24:45 PM »
The mother was clearly, completely wrong to yell at Rose for her child's fall.  She went far beyond what she should have done; she was really rude. 

However, despite that, I would say that Rose should not have been walking through Tomorrowland with her cane the way she was, when she could have been using the OP as her guide.  I say this as someone who was very close to a blind person for years, a cane user, and so I have myself gone to a variety of public places with a blind friend.  Disneyland is a crowded place with lots of little kids, so it was foreseeable that a little kid would tear across your path.  Even if it wasn't crowded at that very moment in that very place, it's just a surging place with a lot of small children, and everyone should use the most care they can to not create tripping hazards IMHO.  And yes, parents should always control their small children, but they do sometimes break away, and some of them, no matter how conscientious the parents may be, are determined to break loose (I myself had one toddler who was a bolter and one whom I could trust to stay under my control, and for the bolter I resorted to using one of those widely ridiculed and despised leashes as I simply could not keep her by my side at all times, despite my best efforts). 

Rose could have held the OP's arm lightly, as she did the rest of the day, and that would have been better.  I am really sorry Rose's day was harmed by the rude mother screaming at her, though. 

Yes, true, you make a valid point.

Rose was in the process of adjusting her cane like it's a pencil to use it in more crowded quarters when the incident occurred. When she grips the cane that way the tip is right in front of her feet and the handle is near her head, and her hand is down on the white part. Her folding cane is about six inches shorter than the rigid one she uses in places where storing it is as simple as propping it on a wall or sliding it under a table.

Looking back now, I wonder if the toddler would have tripped over Rose's feet if she didn't trip on the cane first. Her feet were literally half a step behind the cane's tip and we had slowed our pace considerably to avoid her bumping into people. The wee one came out of nowhere from the exact opposite direction we were expecting a person to pop out.

It's awful when a time machine has bad timing, isn't it?  :o

Rose and I spoke on the matter and she says perhaps it's best to go on days when it isn't quite as chaotic.
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TamJamB

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2013, 07:20:55 PM »
I disagree with Drunken Housewife and company. A blind person's came is an extentionof their person, just like my daughter's crutches (which also extend out in front of her). the OP's friend has a perfect right to use her cane under all circumstances. Kids need to learn to watch out for such tripping hazards. Falling down is one way that lesson is reinforced.

Drawberry

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2013, 08:14:21 PM »
"Control your friend"? Just those words are really upsetting me. The implication is that Rose needs to be under someone's "control" because she is blind.

It is clear that the mother thinks that a person with a disability is not capable of being out in public by him/herself. The mother's view of disabilities colored her thinking and reactions to the entire event. She is a biased, prejudiced person.

Rose did nothing wrong. The child did nothing wrong. What happened was an accident.

Instead of accepting that accidents happen, especially in crowded places where over-excited children are running around, the mother chose to blame an innocent bystander, Rose, and to yell at the OP.

I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry Rose's special day out was spoiled. But neither the Tardis or Rose should waste another second worrying about this incident.

The bolded part is what I very strongly agree with. That statement was incredibly dehumanizing and implied that your friend was basically a dog on a leash that you should have been leading around and picking up after.

It was an accident with a child did not understand how to behave around someone with a disability, your friend did not maliciously whack the child with her cane. The little girl was being..a little girl who just wasn't being supervised well.

I'd be very offended if I was referred to the way your friend was, and I don't think I'd have many apologies left for the mother after she spoke about my friend like an animal.


gramma dishes

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2013, 08:35:01 PM »
The mother should have been apologizing to your friend for not having control over her daughter.
Your friend did nothing wrong.

This.

Add me to the list.  That was my immediate thought when I read that in the story.  I suspect the mother felt guilty because she knew it was her problem that she didn't have her own child 'under control', but rather than admit her own culpability she had to blame it on the blind person who didn't even see what happened! 


delabela

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2013, 08:46:32 PM »
Accidents happen.  I know I can't keep my kids from every bump and bruise, nor do I want to.  If I were the mother in that scenario, I would have checked to make sure there were only minor bumps to my kiddo and then apologized to your friend for not keeping her out of her way. 

It doesn't seem anyone was acting recklessly - it's just one of those things that can happen when there are a lot of excited people in one place. 

Acadianna

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2013, 08:47:31 PM »
The mother should have been apologizing to your friend for not having control over her daughter.
Your friend did nothing wrong.

This.

Add me to the list.  That was my immediate thought when I read that in the story.  I suspect the mother felt guilty because she knew it was her problem that she didn't have her own child 'under control', but rather than admit her own culpability she had to blame it on the blind person who didn't even see what happened!

Add me to the list too, please.

Docslady21

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2013, 08:48:58 PM »
The mother was clearly, completely wrong to yell at Rose for her child's fall.  She went far beyond what she should have done; she was really rude. 

However, despite that, I would say that Rose should not have been walking through Tomorrowland with her cane the way she was, when she could have been using the OP as her guide.  I say this as someone who was very close to a blind person for years, a cane user, and so I have myself gone to a variety of public places with a blind friend.  Disneyland is a crowded place with lots of little kids, so it was foreseeable that a little kid would tear across your path.  Even if it wasn't crowded at that very moment in that very place, it's just a surging place with a lot of small children, and everyone should use the most care they can to not create tripping hazards IMHO.  And yes, parents should always control their small children, but they do sometimes break away, and some of them, no matter how conscientious the parents may be, are determined to break loose (I myself had one toddler who was a bolter and one whom I could trust to stay under my control, and for the bolter I resorted to using one of those widely ridiculed and despised leashes as I simply could not keep her by my side at all times, despite my best efforts). 

Rose could have held the OP's arm lightly, as she did the rest of the day, and that would have been better.  I am really sorry Rose's day was harmed by the rude mother screaming at her, though.

Would you feel the same about wheelchairs, walkers, motorized wheelchairs, strollers, canes, assistance animals and other support devices? A cane is meant to give a blind individual the independence to be mobile in a sighted world. Every day I see a blind man in our crowded downtown, and I couldn't imagine saying he needed someone to lead him around to avoid inconveniencing others. He is so gracious to the people that impatiently push past him or step in front of him in the crosswalk. Imagine how humiliating it would be to be told you couldn't use a tool to assist in your disability. If this were my child, I would have scolded her for not watching what she was doing and been utterly mortified.

miranova

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2013, 09:01:29 PM »
I think it was a complete accident with nobody at fault.  These things happen!  Anybody can armchair quarterback after the fact but sometimes these things just happen. 

I'm sorry that the mother's reaction was so rude and extreme.  She isn't doing her daughter any favors.

m2kbug

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2013, 09:31:25 PM »
That is just appalling.  I can't add more to that than has already been said.  I feel bad for Rose.  This was in no way her fault.  Mommy will hopefully realize to teach her child (as she gets older) to be mindful and watchful of the white cane and the person attached to it (in addition to not bolting and running in crowded areas).  It's made that color for a reason.  Even without that cane in hand, the mother's behavior was out of control.  Wow. 

JenJay

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2013, 10:01:58 PM »
I think the mother was a nasty piece of work. Yes, accidents happen, and when that happened both parties should have made their apologies and moved on. Personally I think the mom was at most fault, but were I Rose I would have apologized, too.

But to scream in Rose's face and then tell OP to control her friend? No. She gets no pass from me. Virtual hugs to Rose!!

Ladybugs

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #26 on: January 03, 2013, 10:41:35 PM »
I agree with some who said the cane is considered an extension of the blind person in public places..its necessary for their mobility,the same way a wheelchair is needed and other people need to be aware and maneuver around cane, walker, wheelchair,.....the mom was the one in the wrong for not keeping a better eye on her kid, the toddler could have caused your blind friend to fall

Firecat

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #27 on: January 03, 2013, 11:27:51 PM »
I agree with some who said the cane is considered an extension of the blind person in public places..its necessary for their mobility,the same way a wheelchair is needed and other people need to be aware and maneuver around cane, walker, wheelchair,.....the mom was the one in the wrong for not keeping a better eye on her kid, the toddler could have caused your blind friend to fall

POD. I really disagree with the thought that Rose shouldn't have been using her cane. If nothing else, because having someone holding onto your arm for an extended period gets really tiring after awhile, and I don't think it's feasible to keep that up for an entire day. If the child was likely to dart (and most toddlers are), in a place as crowded as Disney, I think the mother should have been using some kind of tether to avoid exactly this sort of thing. (And I say that as someone whose parents used a harness when I was little. Never did any harm to my psyche that I know of, and it's actually easier because the child doesn't have their hand up over their head all the time.)

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #28 on: January 03, 2013, 11:37:42 PM »
I do think that the white cane is an extension of the person as well.  While it is polite for someone using a cane to modify their use of it in certain conditions - such as 'drawing in' the cane to create a shorter range and thus maneuver in a crowd - the person is human.  Rose was, by OP's admission, already in the process of modifying her behavior when the incident happened, shortening her range as the OP moved closer to help guide her through the fresh rush of people.  The child's mother should have been holding the child's hand, and for whatever reason was not.  The child ran out, tripped over Rose's cane because they were not paying proper attention, as children often do.  It was truly an accident.  That mother would have screamed at Rose if she was simply standing still with the cane held flat against her leg and the child ran into her.   

That last bit happened to me. I was standing in line at a theme park, not moving, and a child about age 4 ran into my leg at speed, bounced off, and began to cry.  The parent rushed up and began to berate me.  The people behind and in front of me were all staring at her like she was nuts, because I hadn't even done anything wrong.  That parent left screaming insults at me all without acknowledging that they should have been watching their child better.   The boy was dangling off the parent's arms, wailing and screaming. Not five minutes later, ANOTHER child ran into me.  The guy behind me was cracking up, nearly crying because he was laughing so hard.  This time, the parent was right behind, and apologized to me, saying the girl had yanked her hand out of her mother's and taken off running because she was mad that she couldn't go on a ride again.  The girl was sniffling a little when the mother turned to her and said, "That's why you don't run away here.  You might run into someone, or get lost.  Are you hurt?"  The girl checked, not even scuffed anywhere.  "Well then, apologize to the nice woman for bumping into her."  I accepted the apology, then told her, "Please be more careful, I wouldn't want you to get hurt."  We wished each other a good day, and the pair left, child's hand firmly in her mother's, no tears anywhere.   It really is all about the parenting. 

Sophia

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Re: Little Disneyland mishap with a friend.
« Reply #29 on: January 03, 2013, 11:38:13 PM »
I think the fault lies 100% with the Ballistic Mother.  What was a toddler doing racing around a crowded place like Disneyland anyway?  If the child won't stay by the parents, they should use a leash.