I need your help. Desperately.
I need your wise words to help me with this “opportunity”.
Bullet point background:
1. I love my mother. Wonderful childhood. She and my father did everything they could for me.
2. I am an only child.
3. My father passed 11 years ago. She has been alone since.
4. She helped raise my son (although I paid her) and has been an integral part of our lives.
5. She has lived on and off with me for 10 years. (ex: when she was watching my son, her house was 45 minutes away…so she would stay with me for the week. (sigh) Ex2 – when I moved to a new state, she moved in with me until she could “find her own place”….years later..
6. 3 years ago I married a wonderful (and patient) man. She was living with me until we got engaged…and then moved to her own place.
7. Through her own fiscal irresponsibility (my father left her with enough to live on) she now has (literally) a few thousand in the bank – and lives off her Social Security = $1000mo.
8. She has repeatedly ignored/scoffed/refused financial advice.
9. A year ago, she gave up her apartment (because they were raising her rent) and came up with a “fabulous idea” to “travel and see her friends for a year”. That lasted 6 months and then she was back at our place.
10. When she moved back in “temporarily”, DH and I discussed how this should be handled. We decided that she could help with the expenses and pay us $100 week. 50% less than her payment for a 1/1 apt. Nice home. including utilities, her own room and sitting area. parking her car in the garage...etc.
11. None of this would even be required if it wasn’t such a “chore” to have her here. She is over-the-top critical. To the point where HER friends are telling us to get her out!
12. She hasn’t paid anything since November. And when I asked her today for Jan rent, she replied…I can’t pay you anything. (excuse, excuse)
If she was a nice, kind, gentle person…this would not even be a question. But she is not. She is critical, demanding, and (I hate to admit it) pretty selfish. She does not appreciate what we offer her – instead acts as if this is almost her due.
I am over it. My husband (and only through his generosity has it lasted THIS long) is over it.
Even my darling son, (who adores his grandma) is now old enough to recognize that she is constantly nagging.
“What is the ‘proper’, ‘etiquette approved way’ to kick your mother out”?
(sorry if I posted in the wrong place. this is such a hot mess...i dont even know where it belongs!