You want to fight? Oh look, the cat is on fire .... bye-bye! Update in OP!

[Stranger]

Hi my friends! Long time no speak 

I still have PA issues with mum - but it's getting better! I phoned them on Christmas and New Year, and kept the conversations short (as one does when talking to pA- toxic people!)

I thought that we could have a longer conversation tonight, but when my mum answered the phone, I could hear that things would not go well. I said hi, and asked how things were.... she was horrid.

I said "do you want to talk, or do you want to fight?" She said :"I want to fight!!!!". That's when the cat caught alight and the conversation had to stop.

Thank you, E-Hell! It was easy to end the conversation. No hang-ups. No yelling! Just:" I have to go, bye!"

We might talk again in June. We'll see :-)

Shiny happy spines!

update:

My mum sent me a blank text tonight. Against my better judgement I called her - only to have her *proxy*,  mean, husband :-) tell me :your mother does NOT want to speak with YOU!!!!

All's good. I said : "Oh, ok. That's not a problem. Have a good day!"

My late mum is now blocked on FB, mail accounts, mobile apps and Skype. I became an orphan tonight, and dang, it feels GOOD. I will need help and advice to maintain the cut direct, but I feel so good after issuing it. It's about 10 years overdue.

[Gondwanaland]

Love it.  You are my kind of Stranger.

[chibichan]

Well played Stranger !

May you have a Peaceful and PA-free New Year , and may the cat not have to spontaneously combust anytime soon . 

[TootsNYC]

wow--at least she acknowledged it! And smart move to point out the two choices.

And so, so smart of you to just bail on the convo right then and there. It'll get easier every time.
You might find, if you keep it up, that in a year or two she gets better at having a reasonable conversation with you.

[Cat-Fu]

Your cat caught on fire?!? How? Poor baby! Is it ok? I'm sorry that your mother is so PA! Next time if your cat doesn't interrupt it might work to just say "Wow, I'm not continuing this conversation until you calm down."

[TootsNYC]

Cat-Fu: many, many months ago one of the E-Hellers was in a phone conversation with her aunt when her aunt said something outrageous and she just immediately wanted off the phone NOW.

She told us that she'd blurted out, "Oh, I've got to go, the kitten's on fire." (I don't think she even had a cat, though maybe she did.)

"the cat's on fire" became an E-Hell meme for "getting off the phone immediately, now."
Some people object to it, bcs it's sort of a mean or scary image, but that's what it means: "getting of the phone immediately without a further word."

[Twik]

Well, I can see why that imagery would be disturbing to someone called Cat-Fu! 

[Cat-Fu]

Oh! I totally missed that thread! (Or maybe it was before I started lurking here, lol!) It would be pretty awful if a cat caught on fire for real!

[VorFemme]

When I was growing up - we had gas space heaters in a couple of places for heat (this was forty odd years ago and an older house even then).  We also had a cat - a Siamese who carried their tail bent to one side.

Until one day the cat walked too close to a lit heater with the tail pointing at the heater...and it poked through the safety grate.

Cat was NOT happy with the tail on fire and learned to flick the bent part of the tail away from the heater forever after.  It was funny to watch the tail flick in summer, when the heater hadn't been lit for months...

I don't remember if Mom was on the phone when the cat lit up its tail or not....

[Amara]

"the cat's on fire" became an E-Hell meme for "getting off the phone immediately, now."
Some people object to it, bcs it's sort of a mean or scary image, but that's what it means: "getting of the phone immediately without a further word."

For those upset by this phrase--and yes, I am one of them--I found an old eHell phrase when I was browsing the archives one day: shave the whale. As in: "Oops, gotta go. The whale needs shaving."

[Dalek]

I think the OP handled the situation well.

[Sophia]

I used to have a Maine Coon that would rest her tail on a lit candle.  Her tail hair was so long she didn't even know it was on fire.  Fortunately I was right there and used my hand to put out the fire.  She was indignant that I touched her tail, and later intrigued by the odd smell.  But, I had to change to Yankee Candles only.

[laud_shy_girl]

OP beautifully done! bravo for your spine-o-steal.


Edit because it's a spine not a spin...